My best friend's husband makes suggestive comments to me

[Anonymous]

I knew her husband before she knew him. He and I used to do things together as friends, I've never even so much as shook hands with him in the past, since I was seroiusly involved with someone else during that time. She was my lab partner in college and he came by the lab and they met, i introduced them, and Now they are married.

I stopped by to visit her, and she left the room. He says: "I always thought you and I were going to get together." The hugs hello with him are too long, too tight, too creepy. She tells me in when they are in bed that they often discuss what his life would have been like if he married me instead of her.

She is the salt of the earth. She is Melanie from Gone With the Wind (we're both from the south.). I now only visit when I know he will be away.

I've said directly to him that I would never do anything to hurt my best friend. But I can't lie, there are huge sparks between us and always been.

What's the solution?

[Anonymous]

Stop being a tramp. Not sure if you are married, but they are, so be respectful and walk away if needed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I knew her husband before she knew him. He and I used to do things together as friends, I've never even so much as shook hands with him in the past, since I was seroiusly involved with someone else during that time. She was my lab partner in college and he came by the lab and they met, i introduced them, and Now they are married.

I stopped by to visit her, and she left the room. He says: "I always thought you and I were going to get together." The hugs hello with him are too long, too tight, too creepy. She tells me in when they are in bed that they often discuss what his life would have been like if he married me instead of her.

She is the salt of the earth. She is Melanie from Gone With the Wind (we're both from the south.). I now only visit when I know he will be away.

I've said directly to him that I would never do anything to hurt my best friend. But I can't lie, there are huge sparks between us and always been.

What's the solution?

Huh?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I knew her husband before she knew him. He and I used to do things together as friends, I've never even so much as shook hands with him in the past, since I was seroiusly involved with someone else during that time. She was my lab partner in college and he came by the lab and they met, i introduced them, and Now they are married.

I stopped by to visit her, and she left the room. He says: "I always thought you and I were going to get together." The hugs hello with him are too long, too tight, too creepy. She tells me in when they are in bed that they often discuss what his life would have been like if he married me instead of her.

She is the salt of the earth. She is Melanie from Gone With the Wind (we're both from the south.). I now only visit when I know he will be away.

I've said directly to him that I would never do anything to hurt my best friend. But I can't lie, there are huge sparks between us and always been.

What's the solution?

Huh?

Wtf

[Anonymous]

You don't say, "I won't do anything to hurt my friend" that leaves it open ... If she wasn't your friend you would do something?

This is how you shut a guy down...

Don't ever speak to me like that again, have some respect.
Really, sorry but I always thought of you like a brother, so yuk!
Sorry, the feeling is not mutual...At.... ALL.

[Anonymous]

I don't know, Troll. What do YOU think the solution might be???? Post it and the we'll all give it a score from 1-6 with 6 bring the highest.

Right now you have a 1. Come back when you have a better answer.

[Anonymous]

What's a troll? What makes you think this is a troll?

[Anonymous]

OP: ok. This is not made up. You don't think it's weird that they get in bed together and discuss his potential alternative life with me? I think that's ...... Well.......strange. I want to maintain my friendship with my best friend, but I feel I have to sneak around to do it. I'm human enough to think her husband is attractive, and it's mutual.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don't say, "I won't do anything to hurt my friend" that leaves it open ... If she wasn't your friend you would do something?

This is how you shut a guy down...

Don't ever speak to me like that again, have some respect.
Really, sorry but I always thought of you like a brother, so yuk!
Sorry, the feeling is not mutual...At.... ALL.

+1 Do NOT respond with "I would never do anything to hurt my friend", because that leaves open the possibility that you would be interested in him otherwise; a guy with so few boy diaries will take that as an invitation to keep pursuing you. It's good you avoid him, but next time he makes a comment you should shut it down more completely by telling him it's disrespectful and he's making you uncimfortable, and you don't think of him that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't say, "I won't do anything to hurt my friend" that leaves it open ... If she wasn't your friend you would do something?

This is how you shut a guy down...

Don't ever speak to me like that again, have some respect.
Really, sorry but I always thought of you like a brother, so yuk!
Sorry, the feeling is not mutual...At.... ALL.

+1 Do NOT respond with "I would never do anything to hurt my friend", because that leaves open the possibility that you would be interested in him otherwise; a guy with so few boy diaries will take that as an invitation to keep pursuing you. It's good you avoid him, but next time he makes a comment you should shut it down more completely by telling him it's disrespectful and he's making you uncimfortable, and you don't think of him that way.

^^ meant to say: a guy with so few boundaries will take it as an invitation. Whether or not you find him attractive, and it's mutual, is completely beside the point!! I mean really, how is it even relevant to the issue you've presented? He is married. Case closed. Shut it down, use your best acting skills and don't let on that you feel any chemistry whatsoever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: ok. This is not made up. You don't think it's weird that they get in bed together and discuss his potential alternative life with me? I think that's ...... Well.......strange. I want to maintain my friendship with my best friend, but I feel I have to sneak around to do it. I'm human enough to think her husband is attractive, and it's mutual.

It's weird that he says that, and it's weird that she tells you. How old are y'all? Are there kids? Are you married?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: ok. This is not made up. You don't think it's weird that they get in bed together and discuss his potential alternative life with me? I think that's ...... Well.......strange. I want to maintain my friendship with my best friend, but I feel I have to sneak around to do it. I'm human enough to think her husband is attractive, and it's mutual.

It's weird that he says that, and it's weird that she tells you. How old are y'all? Are there kids? Are you married?

Are they hinting at a threesome?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: ok. This is not made up. You don't think it's weird that they get in bed together and discuss his potential alternative life with me? I think that's ...... Well.......strange. I want to maintain my friendship with my best friend, but I feel I have to sneak around to do it. I'm human enough to think her husband is attractive, and it's mutual.

It's weird that he says that, and it's weird that she tells you. How old are y'all? Are there kids? Are you married?

Are they hinting at a threesome?

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don't say, "I won't do anything to hurt my friend" that leaves it open ... If she wasn't your friend you would do something?

This is how you shut a guy down...

Don't ever speak to me like that again, have some respect.
Really, sorry but I always thought of you like a brother, so yuk!
Sorry, the feeling is not mutual...At.... ALL.

But, I think the feeling really are mutual---she mentioned "sparks"...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't say, "I won't do anything to hurt my friend" that leaves it open ... If she wasn't your friend you would do something?

This is how you shut a guy down...

Don't ever speak to me like that again, have some respect.
Really, sorry but I always thought of you like a brother, so yuk!
Sorry, the feeling is not mutual...At.... ALL.

But, I think the feeling really are mutual---she mentioned "sparks"...

There are tons of guys that I had a "spark" with in college that disgust me now.

If she is attracted to him, she needs counseling.