My best friend's husband makes suggestive comments to me

[Anonymous]

You should avoid this guy altogether. He's out of bounds and you seem to be enjoying it. Unless, as others say, they're hinting at a threesome, in which case...I don't even know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't say, "I won't do anything to hurt my friend" that leaves it open ... If she wasn't your friend you would do something?

This is how you shut a guy down...

Don't ever speak to me like that again, have some respect.
Really, sorry but I always thought of you like a brother, so yuk!
Sorry, the feeling is not mutual...At.... ALL.

But, I think the feeling really are mutual---she mentioned "sparks"...

There are tons of guys that I had a "spark" with in college that disgust me now.

If she is attracted to him, she needs counseling.

No, the sparks are happening NOW. Also, OP did confirm a couple of posts ago that the feelings ARE mutual

[Anonymous]

^^ so what if the feelings are mutual? Dude is married, and to her best friend. She needs to shut this down.

[Anonymous]

I feel sorry for the friend. She has a wanna be cheating husband and a no good best friend.

[Anonymous]

OP: what do you mean? This makes me so uncomfortable that I can't see her vey much because I won't go to visit her when he's around. If we go out, he sometimes tags along, so that's out, or comes to my house with her, because its all " normal " because he and I were friends before she was even in the picture for him, so that's out. So I guess I'm losing her friendship which makes me sad. I've known them both for a long time. Trust me, I grieve losing her as a friend more than him.

[Anonymous]

This happened to a friend of mine about 10 years ago. College friendship with chemistry, but met and married a different friend. The couple + friend hung were friends and spent lots of time together. Guy kept the flirting.

Long story short, she ended up sleeping with him at some point (years into this weird triangle). I don't think the guy's marriage was ever solid (lots of fatal issues...), but since they never really had a chance at a functional relationship the affair ruined their friendship too.

The couple is divorced and no one is in touch with another. My friend is happily married to someone she met well after all this went down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I knew her husband before she knew him. He and I used to do things together as friends, I've never even so much as shook hands with him in the past, since I was seroiusly involved with someone else during that time. She was my lab partner in college and he came by the lab and they met, i introduced them, and Now they are married.

I stopped by to visit her, and she left the room. He says: "I always thought you and I were going to get together." The hugs hello with him are too long, too tight, too creepy. She tells me in when they are in bed that they often discuss what his life would have been like if he married me instead of her.

She is the salt of the earth. She is Melanie from Gone With the Wind (we're both from the south.). I now only visit when I know he will be away.

I've said directly to him that I would never do anything to hurt my best friend. But I can't lie, there are huge sparks between us and always been.

What's the solution?

Huh?

Come on people. This translates to them fantasizing about a 3some with the OP. This is exactly how these things go down. I bet he is the hunter in this situation.

[Anonymous]

^^^

And I know this because DH and I have been in 3somes with other women. However I'm always the one to approach the woman if we sense chemistry between her and DH. It's easier for the female to be the hunter. Men can come off ad creepy. Women are much more smooth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don't say, "I won't do anything to hurt my friend" that leaves it open ... If she wasn't your friend you would do something?

This is how you shut a guy down...

Don't ever speak to me like that again, have some respect.
Really, sorry but I always thought of you like a brother, so yuk!
Sorry, the feeling is not mutual...At.... ALL.

If someone spoke to my husband that way I would kick their ass literally. He might not have the guts to body slam tryouts into a table but I have no problem breaking one with your body for trying to humiliate my hubby

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't say, "I won't do anything to hurt my friend" that leaves it open ... If she wasn't your friend you would do something?

This is how you shut a guy down...

Don't ever speak to me like that again, have some respect.
Really, sorry but I always thought of you like a brother, so yuk!
Sorry, the feeling is not mutual...At.... ALL.

If someone spoke to my husband that way I would kick their ass literally. He might not have the guts to body slam tryouts into a table but I have no problem breaking one with your body for trying to humiliate my hubby

Really? After your husband hit on the woman? You would prefer that she encourage it or not immediately shut it down?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don't say, "I won't do anything to hurt my friend" that leaves it open ... If she wasn't your friend you would do something?

This is how you shut a guy down...

Don't ever speak to me like that again, have some respect.
Really, sorry but I always thought of you like a brother, so yuk!
Sorry, the feeling is not mutual...At.... ALL.

OP is a southern girl - her friend's man might take that comment as even more of an invitation.

[Anonymous]

I think OP, you are going to have to distance yourself from both your friend as well as her DH. Probably just for a while until the marriage falls apart.

You don't want to be with the DH, ever, because he is the cheating kind and will cheat on you, too.

You need to be away from both of them to let your own sparks cool by getting your mind off both of them so you can focus on finding someone for you.

Female friendships ebb and flow so just decide to cut out for a while. I know it's a bummer but she chose him, so you've got to for both your sakes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't say, "I won't do anything to hurt my friend" that leaves it open ... If she wasn't your friend you would do something?

This is how you shut a guy down...

Don't ever speak to me like that again, have some respect.
Really, sorry but I always thought of you like a brother, so yuk!
Sorry, the feeling is not mutual...At.... ALL.

If someone spoke to my husband that way I would kick their ass literally. He might not have the guts to body slam tryouts into a table but I have no problem breaking one with your body for trying to humiliate my hubby

I just fell in love.

[Anonymous]

People, OP outed herself when she said her friend was Melanie in Gone With the Wind... that means OP is Scarlett and that she is very attracted to the husband.

OP, limit contact more than you already have.
Seek out new friends actively.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
People, OP outed herself when she said her friend was Melanie in Gone With the Wind... that means OP is Scarlett and that she is very attracted to the husband.

OP, limit contact more than you already have.
Seek out new friends actively.

OP: oh, you are very good. Yes, I'm staying away.