Reasonable bedtime for 6th grader?

[Anonymous]

Our 6th grader claims she cannot fall asleep before 11pm. I feel this is too late, since every morning she struggles to get up at 7:15 and get ready for school. On the weekend, I'm ok with a later bedtime. Do other parents of similarly aged kids enforce an earlier bedtime during the week? And what do you do if your child resists the earlier bedtime? tIA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our 6th grader claims she cannot fall asleep before 11pm. I feel this is too late, since every morning she struggles to get up at 7:15 and get ready for school. On the weekend, I'm ok with a later bedtime. Do other parents of similarly aged kids enforce an earlier bedtime during the week? And what do you do if your child resists the earlier bedtime? tIA.

I think 11pm is way too late. My kids are a few years older but in 6th grade, I think we shot for 9 or 930. I remember several conversations that "bedtime" does not equate to "sleep time". So if your daughter wants to stay up and read after bedtime, I personally would grant that level of personal control. But keep emphasizing how late sleep makes it tough to wake up at 715. It can be a tough process but bear in mind that she may just be trying to exercise some control over her schedule. So compromise a bit and have her in bed at 9 but she can read with a bedside lamp until she's tired enough to fall asleep. I'd be surprised if she makes it 2 hours consistently every night.

[Anonymous]

11pm is too late.

My oldest is a night owl. When he was staying up late (in his bed, no electronics), we decided he needed more physical activity in the evenings. That combined with an early morning, made him fall asleep more quickly.

[Anonymous]

Here is what Web MD says about recommended sleep. My 6th grader has been staying up much laster this year than last and is often up until 10:00 (and occassionally later). But she gets up at 6:40. One thing to note. If you let them stay up late on the weekend then sleep in until 10:00 am, come sunday night, they can't go to sleep at an appropriate time. I've decided to wake my DD on weekends at 8:30 to prevent this bad cycle from continuing to screw up the sleep pattern.

7-12 Years Old: 10 - 11 hours per day

At these ages, with social, school, and family activities, bedtimes gradually become later and later, with most 12-years-olds going to bed at about 9 p.m. There is still a wide range of bedtimes, from 7:30 to 10 p.m., as well as total sleep times, from 9 to 12 hours, although the average is only about 9 hours.

12-18 Years Old: 8 - 9 hours per day

Sleep needs remain just as vital to health and well-being for teenagers as when they were younger. It turns out that many teenagers actually may need more sleep than in previous years. Now, however, for many teenagerssocial pressures conspire against getting the proper amount and quality of sleep.

[Anonymous]

What is she doing between 9-11 pm? If she is lying in bed, awake, for an hour or two, then maybe she really "cannot fall asleep." Then you can research sleep problems and act accordingly.

If you is playing with her phone or reading a book that she can't put down, she "doesn't want to fall asleep."

[Anonymous]

My 6th grader has "lights out" at 8:30 and usually falls asleep quickly. He gets up at about 6am so that he can leave the house at 7am. He's been starting to suggest that his bedtime is too early, although I don't think it is since he falls asleep quickly and gets the recommended 9 hrs of sleep. However, if he continues to push on it, our compromise will be that he can read in bed until 9pm.

[Anonymous]

I have a non sleeper and what I do is that I start quiet time around 8:30 - electronics go off, snacks, clean up, pjs, teeth and then reading. I let mine stay up until 10 or 10:30 on school nights and later on non-school nights (he gets up at 6 am). It hasn't affected his performance at school or anything - but then he's never been a sleeper. When I go to bed, he has to as well, but even then he doesn't always fall asleep until later. Just because most kids need more sleep doesn't mean that there are not some outliers, like my son and maybe your daughter. I see no reason to make my son miserable by making his lay in bed when he can't sleep just because most kids need more sleep than he does. I give him the tools - routine, no electonics, fully belly, quiet time, etc. But I can't make him sleep.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, my kids in 6th grade probably went to bed between 10 and 11. They are just not early to bed types and there wasn't much I could do about that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 6th grader has "lights out" at 8:30 and usually falls asleep quickly. He gets up at about 6am so that he can leave the house at 7am. He's been starting to suggest that his bedtime is too early, although I don't think it is since he falls asleep quickly and gets the recommended 9 hrs of sleep. However, if he continues to push on it, our compromise will be that he can read in bed until 9pm.

Lights out at 8:30? Yikes!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:11pm is too late.

My oldest is a night owl. When he was staying up late (in his bed, no electronics), we decided he needed more physical activity in the evenings. That combined with an early morning, made him fall asleep more quickly.

Just be aware that exercising too close to bed has been linked to insomnia in some people, including kids. The recommendation is that people exercise earlier in the day for the best results getting to bed at a reasonable hour.

[Anonymous]

In my dreams my kids would be asleep at 8:30. Good for you that your DC goes to bed that early. If people are being honest, he is probably one of the only kids with lights out that early. There is no way my kids would fall asleep that early.

[Anonymous]

9:00 to 9:30?

[Anonymous]

My 6th grader is occasionally up until close to 11 but he more usually falls asleep between 9 and 10. At the beginning of the year I had him on his old bedtime of between 7:30-8:30. He'd grown to need less sleep and being in bed early made him restless and made it more difficult for him to fall asleep. I shifted his bedtime to 8-9 and things started improving. Now he's typically in his room tucked in by 8:30, and he'll read or journal until about 9-9:15 and then he turns his light out. Two days a week he has a later bedtime (in bed by 9:30, lights out by 10) because of other commitments. Occasionally he will sleep in on the weekends but he's typically up at his regular 6:30am time. I use that as my indicator that he's getting enough sleep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my dreams my kids would be asleep at 8:30. Good for you that your DC goes to bed that early. If people are being honest, he is probably one of the only kids with lights out that early. There is no way my kids would fall asleep that early.

Yep. Honestly, it's starting to seem early to me too but he's always been a kid who slept at LOT (as a toddler he'd sleep 12 hours straight at night and take a 3 hr afternoon nap), and he's asleep within 5 minutes of lights-out so it works for us. Of course, on weekends he's often up later but still only sleeps until 6:30 or so.

[Anonymous]

My 6th grader is generally in bed by 9:30 and wakes up at 6:30. It's still not enough sleep.