Family wants to give $ for house down payment- WWYD?

[Anonymous]

We have been living in a small 2-bedroom for the past several years. We have two kids and are starting to look into buying a bigger house. Prices are just crazy in our DC neighborhood!

My parents have offered to give us a significant amount of money for a down payment. It would make getting into a good neighborhood do-able. My DH does not want to take the money. (He is very uncomfortable getting any money from other people.)

What would you do? Take the money and be able to buy a place with good schools, etc.? Or skip it and have a long commute and/or be in not-so-safe neighborhood? Feeling very torn...

[Anonymous]

Agree with DH.

[Anonymous]

Are your parents going to hold it over your heads or expect to weigh in on the house? If not tell your husband the money is for the children to enjoy a new house.

[Anonymous]

What kind of people are they? My dad was very non- interfering. He gave us $10k to help pay for IVF. Zero strings attached, and he never mentioned it again after the check was written. Would your folks be like that?

[Anonymous]

Take it and say thank you.

And thank them every day when you have an extra hour in your day b/c you are not commuting.

[Anonymous]

If you husband doesn't want to take it, don't take it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are your parents going to hold it over your heads or expect to weigh in on the house? If not tell your husband the money is for the children to enjoy a new house.

+1 and don't forget your kids are not just enjoying a new house, they are enjoying time with you because you aren't spending another 30-40 commuting at rush hour.

[Anonymous]

Look, I would take it. This is only a general comment, but a lot of parents understand that things are a lot more difficult for their kids, economically wise, than they were for them (college loans, home prices, work insecurities). This sounds like a general offer. As a compromise, maybe the amount could be reduced.

[Anonymous]

I would take it, but only because my parents are not the type to hold it over our head or have it come with strings attached. Only you know what kind of relationship you have with your parents. I would not turn it down based only on principle.

[Anonymous]

I would take it, but only as a loan. I would want to pay it back. But that's just me. I'm not comfortable taking or giving money to family except in emergency situations.

[Anonymous]

Your husband does not want to take it because it makes him feel like he is incapable of properly caring for you can the kids. It makes him feel like less of a man to have to rely on your parents for help. With that said, I would take it anyway. It will give your entire family a better life. Just give your husband more TLC and ego strokes and make your life easier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are your parents going to hold it over your heads or expect to weigh in on the house? If not tell your husband the money is for the children to enjoy a new house.

+1 and don't forget your kids are not just enjoying a new house, they are enjoying time with you because you aren't spending another 30-40 commuting at rush hour.

+1 the money is really for their grandchildren. Not that this is relevant, but I would be ticked if my dh chose his pride (?) over something as basic as good schools for his kids.

[Anonymous]

So many people, in so many generations, received financial help. That's part of what families do, IF they can afford it. So many homes were bought in pricey areas with family money. I have heard this from at least 10 people. But do what's right for you.

[Anonymous]

Would your husband be open to repaying it?

[Anonymous]

Take the money and treat it as part of your inheritance. It can be very satisfying to your parents to know they can help out while the are alive to see the impact of their $$. Plus there can be tax advantages to giving you money slowly over years as opposed to a lump sum.