MIL staying over, what would you think?

[Anonymous]

Let's say you're a WAHM and your regular nanny is out of town. Your grandkid-crazy MIL offered to come and watch your kids for a few days. You offer to pay her, she refuses, offended by the idea.

While she is staying with you, you prep all the meals, breakfast, lunch and dinner for the family. But she doesn't lift a finger to do any clean-up or help in meal preparation. And while she picks up toys that are strewn about, she does not do any general light housekeeping of any sort. In the evenings, after you prepare dinner for everyone, and everyone eats, you are in the kitchen, cleaning up the table, dishes and kitchen, while she relaxes on the couch.

Would you think it odd that your MIL doesn't offer any help with meals or clean up, or would you think that's normal, considering she is taking care of the kids for most of the day?

[Anonymous]

Why do you expect her to clean your house? Unless she's making some giant mess that wouldn't be there if she wasn't you need to calm down.

[Anonymous]

It probably wouldn't bother me. I assume your dh is pitching in for the cleaning and light housekeeping?

[Anonymous]

Who knows. If you need help, either ask for it or just do it. Some people aren't good at knowing what to do without instructions. And some people don't want to over step boundaries. MILs seem damned if they do, damned if they don't.

[Anonymous]

I would think watching the kids and picking up toys is plenty. It's tiring for an older person to watch two kids. Heck it's tiring even for me to be alone with my kids all day. I would love to have a grandparent as helpful as yours.

[Anonymous]

Hmm I would think that is somewhat odd that she doesn't even offer, but in *my* situation (MIL is disaster in kitchen, scatterbrained, drops stuff, etc) I would be relieved -- it's always a major task when she visits for me to keep her out of the kitchen and not make it awkward!

[Anonymous]

No I would think it was strange. Both my MIL and mom would be helping, for sure. Sorry. I would be frustrated too. But great that she is willing to take care of kids and do a bit of picking up after then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would think watching the kids and picking up toys is plenty. It's tiring for an older person to watch two kids. Heck it's tiring even for me to be alone with my kids all day. I would love to have a grandparent as helpful as yours.

This!

Sorry OP, but your MIL is watching the kids and picking up toys?? That is PLENTY. She's watching your two kids, for crying out loud. You're totally out of line in expecting her to clean up after dinner.

[Anonymous]

Where is you husband? Why are you doing everything alone?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would think watching the kids and picking up toys is plenty. It's tiring for an older person to watch two kids. Heck it's tiring even for me to be alone with my kids all day. I would love to have a grandparent as helpful as yours.

This!

Sorry OP, but your MIL is watching the kids and picking up toys?? That is PLENTY. She's watching your two kids, for crying out loud. You're totally out of line in expecting her to clean up after dinner.

+100

[Anonymous]

It would be better to lower your expectations. It won't be the same while she's there. It will go back to normal when your nanny returns. Be grateful for both her help and the strengthening of the bond between her and your kids. That's valuable in itself.

[Anonymous]

What's your husband doing?

[Anonymous]

No. She offered to watch your kids, didn't offer to be your nanny.

[Anonymous]

Let's look at it this way, OP. Nanny is out of town, right? so what would you have done if MIL had not made her very generous offer to come and watch your kids for free? If it were me, I would be grateful for the help and not expect her to do any "light housekeeping."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let's say you're a WAHM and your regular nanny is out of town. Your grandkid-crazy MIL offered to come and watch your kids for a few days. You offer to pay her, she refuses, offended by the idea.

While she is staying with you, you prep all the meals, breakfast, lunch and dinner for the family. But she doesn't lift a finger to do any clean-up or help in meal preparation. And while she picks up toys that are strewn about, she does not do any general light housekeeping of any sort. In the evenings, after you prepare dinner for everyone, and everyone eats, you are in the kitchen, cleaning up the table, dishes and kitchen, while she relaxes on the couch.

Would you think it odd that your MIL doesn't offer any help with meals or clean up, or would you think that's normal, considering she is taking care of the kids for most of the day?

I would be very grateful to my mother-in-law for watching the children, and I would be ashamed if I found myself thinking that she should also contribute to the cleaning and the cooking. (Her son, on the other hand, actually should contribute to the cleaning and the cooking.)