MIL staying over, what would you think?

[Anonymous]

Our nanny doesn't do anything that you expected your MIL to help with in addition to the child care so I think if she is there to help fill in for your nannny, she's probably tired from doing that all day. My mother has done this numerous times for our 2-year old, and she doesn't clean or cook. She actually does unload the dishwasher, but that's it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My MIL would do this. In fact, she did something similar 2 weeks after I had a c section. Didn't faze me, it's just who she is.

HAHA I'm a PP with a bad MIL in that regard - I had an emergency C and my MIL wanted to stay with us for 3 weeks (regardless of the type of birth I had, since a vaginal one was planned). We had a 1 bedroom apartment. Yeah, right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thanks for the reality check, everyone. I should be thankful, she loves the kids, what more could I ask for?

I was asking because it seemed odd to me at the time, almost seemed like something was wrong. I thought maybe she felt taken for granted, or was depressed or something, because she's normally a type A personality, generous to a fault, boasts how she doesn't run out of energy and is used to being up on her feet all day. I think that maybe she is more tired than she is letting on.

I'm going to tell her how much I appreciate all her help tonight.

That is probably it. Kids are really tiring if you aren't used to them. Older folks sometimes cover up how tired they are because they don't want to be perceived as old!

[Anonymous]

I would think it was weird. I wouldn't say anything, and I'd definitely be waking up my husband regardless of the long hours (don't you, too, work long hours, in addition to doing all the cooking and cleaning???), but yes, I would be annoyed that MIL couldn't at least make the gesture of trying to contribute to food prep/clean up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would think watching the kids and picking up toys is plenty. It's tiring for an older person to watch two kids. Heck it's tiring even for me to be alone with my kids all day. I would love to have a grandparent as helpful as yours.

+1. She is not the nanny and she is doing you a favor. If you would like the house cleaned OR dinner cooked, take the $$ you were going to pay her and hire someone to come in and assist with those items. Also, make sure to be grateful to her and thank her. Taking care of young kids is hard work and I know my MIL is usually exhausted after a few hours with our 18month old. I don't think feeding her dinner and letting her put her feet up is asking too much. SHe has taken care of your kids all day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL would do this. In fact, she did something similar 2 weeks after I had a c section. Didn't faze me, it's just who she is.

HAHA I'm a PP with a bad MIL in that regard - I had an emergency C and my MIL wanted to stay with us for 3 weeks (regardless of the type of birth I had, since a vaginal one was planned). We had a 1 bedroom apartment. Yeah, right.

Mine came over to "help" days after my c-section and reprimanded me for not packing lunch for DH and not cooking hot meals for him when he came home. She went on and on, saying that I am a crappy wife and my DH can't work because he is hungry. Ugh

[Anonymous]

I would guess being older and taking care of little children is exhausting. Even when I watch someone else's kids I found it exhausting. Sure, it would be nice if she would help with dishes some of the time but in general she is helping with the childcare so I would let it go. If it really irritates you, then you know not to have her help in the future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would think watching the kids and picking up toys is plenty. It's tiring for an older person to watch two kids. Heck it's tiring even for me to be alone with my kids all day. I would love to have a grandparent as helpful as yours.

+1. She is not the nanny and she is doing you a favor. If you would like the house cleaned OR dinner cooked, take the $$ you were going to pay her and hire someone to come in and assist with those items. Also, make sure to be grateful to her and thank her. Taking care of young kids is hard work and I know my MIL is usually exhausted after a few hours with our 18month old. I don't think feeding her dinner and letting her put her feet up is asking too much. SHe has taken care of your kids all day.

This came off much harsher than I intended! I was just trying to gently suggest being grateful - which from your most recent post, it seems like you understand! Sounds like your MIL is a sweet lady!

[Anonymous]

When my MIL comes over, she does try to help out, and we INSIST she not touch dishes, laundry, cook, etc. It's enough that she's focusing on the kids! It's probably exhausting - I know watching my own two exhausts me - can't imagine going from quiet to them!

[Anonymous]

I think I'd appreciate that my kids are being cared for by a loving grandparent and handle the clean up myself, even if I was a little annoyed.

[Anonymous]

My MIL doesnt cook or clean so it would not be strange behavior for her. My mom would cook, clean, do laundry...everything. If she didnt it would be strange. Both would be excellent with taking care of our DD though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would think watching the kids and picking up toys is plenty. It's tiring for an older person to watch two kids. Heck it's tiring even for me to be alone with my kids all day. I would love to have a grandparent as helpful as yours.

This!

Sorry OP, but your MIL is watching the kids and picking up toys?? That is PLENTY. She's watching your two kids, for crying out loud. You're totally out of line in expecting her to clean up after dinner.

+1

For crap's sake, I wouldn't expect the nanny to clean up after dinner, either. You're getting free help, OP, and your kids are spending time with their grandmother! Be happy.

[Anonymous]

Grandma is probably overwhelmed and exhausted. I do believe dishes should go in the dishwasher though.

[Anonymous]

The thread title is also so misleading and really tells you something about how OP perceives the favor grandma is doing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would think watching the kids and picking up toys is plenty. It's tiring for an older person to watch two kids. Heck it's tiring even for me to be alone with my kids all day. I would love to have a grandparent as helpful as yours.

This is me. If you are 30 and she is 51, or you are 40 and she is 61...she is probably plenty tired with swollen ankles.