Found out today Dh has been cheating on me all year

[Anonymous]

He wants a divorce. I would be willing to fight though it is still so saw. My parents are here and I'm not able to process. I'm having to hold it together for everyone but including our little kids who couldn't have been more excited it is Christmas. My parents are here till 1/9. I can't face work. I need to sit and cry but I don't know when. Does work give leaves of absence of stuff like this? I have a high stress job with few benefits. I just took more pto than is norm. But i can't face work. What are my options? Can I tell them what is going on?

[Anonymous]

Tell your parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He wants a divorce. I would be willing to fight though it is still so saw. My parents are here and I'm not able to process. I'm having to hold it together for everyone but including our little kids who couldn't have been more excited it is Christmas. My parents are here till 1/9. I can't face work. I need to sit and cry but I don't know when. Does work give leaves of absence of stuff like this? I have a high stress job with few benefits. I just took more pto than is norm. But i can't face work. What are my options? Can I tell them what is going on?

Sure, but they will probably perceive you as weak.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell your parents.

I can't. My dad is almost on his death bed. My mom is all stressed out just taking care of him. This would throw them over the edge. I can't share this until it is more final.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He wants a divorce. I would be willing to fight though it is still so saw. My parents are here and I'm not able to process. I'm having to hold it together for everyone but including our little kids who couldn't have been more excited it is Christmas. My parents are here till 1/9. I can't face work. I need to sit and cry but I don't know when. Does work give leaves of absence of stuff like this? I have a high stress job with few benefits. I just took more pto than is norm. But i can't face work. What are my options? Can I tell them what is going on?

Sure, but they will probably perceive you as weak.

Weak? What kind of bullshit is that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He wants a divorce. I would be willing to fight though it is still so saw. My parents are here and I'm not able to process. I'm having to hold it together for everyone but including our little kids who couldn't have been more excited it is Christmas. My parents are here till 1/9. I can't face work. I need to sit and cry but I don't know when. Does work give leaves of absence of stuff like this? I have a high stress job with few benefits. I just took more pto than is norm. But i can't face work. What are my options? Can I tell them what is going on?

Sure, but they will probably perceive you as weak.

So what does one do? Keep going? I can't think. My home and life is about to be ripped apart.

[Anonymous]

BTDT. No, you can't let them know and you probably can't take time off. What you need to do is close your door as much as possible and perform well enough to stay under the radar. Work will be a relief, though right now you probably can't see it.

Most important now is to protect yourself. If you have joint bank accounts, empty them. Close all joint credit cards tonight. Get a lawyer. And, hard as it is, be as good of a mom as you can be right now.

I'm sorry for you.

[Anonymous]

I took fmla when something similar happened to me. The counselor I was seeing signed off on the paperwork for me.

[Anonymous]

Are you scheduled to go back tomorrow? What is the nature of your job? If you don't work in the retail sector, tomorrow will probably be slow. Maybe cry it out in your car over lunch?

[Anonymous]

I am so so sorry. <<hugs>> tell your parents and your friends. You need support right now and options. Go from there. I believe you can tell work that you are having a family emergency. I would tell your supervisor that has to approve the time off and ask them to keep it to themselves.

Best of luck and hang in there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He wants a divorce. I would be willing to fight though it is still so saw. My parents are here and I'm not able to process. I'm having to hold it together for everyone but including our little kids who couldn't have been more excited it is Christmas. My parents are here till 1/9. I can't face work. I need to sit and cry but I don't know when. Does work give leaves of absence of stuff like this? I have a high stress job with few benefits. I just took more pto than is norm. But i can't face work. What are my options? Can I tell them what is going on?

Sure, but they will probably perceive you as weak.

Weak? What kind of bullshit is that?

Why would work need to know about her personal problems? If she tells them she wants time off because her husband wants a divorce, they're going to think less of her.

[Anonymous]

I wish I knew you in person. I would at least listen or offer to watch the kids. Please tell a friend and get thearapy for yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He wants a divorce. I would be willing to fight though it is still so saw. My parents are here and I'm not able to process. I'm having to hold it together for everyone but including our little kids who couldn't have been more excited it is Christmas. My parents are here till 1/9. I can't face work. I need to sit and cry but I don't know when. Does work give leaves of absence of stuff like this? I have a high stress job with few benefits. I just took more pto than is norm. But i can't face work. What are my options? Can I tell them what is going on?

Sure, but they will probably perceive you as weak.

Weak? What kind of bullshit is that?

Why would work need to know about her personal problems? If she tells them she wants time off because her husband wants a divorce, they're going to think less of her.

because OP needs to say "something" to get time off.

[Anonymous]

So sorry OP. Please check out survivinginfidelity.com. Lots of good info. Look up doing the 180. (((Hugs)))

[Anonymous]

Sure, but they will probably perceive you as weak. The person who is saying this. Please shut up. Shut up!!! Who cares how they perceive her. They might be able to help her. She needs good advice not yours.