My last name is never included...

Anonymous
DH and I marry 4 years ago. Like a lot of people do I didn't take DH last name.

Now that is holiday season I make sure I address both last names in the envelopes with our Holiday cards to family and friends.
It bothers me that both family and friends send their cards with DH last name only. We are two in this family.. There are two last names in this family! Why is it so hard to understand?! I don't get it!

ahh vent over!
Anonymous
Genuine question, OP -- are you new to the English language? No snark. Just curious.
Anonymous


They do maybe no care or they forget you name.
Anonymous
Have you told your family and friends to address your family with both last names? Some people don't realize it is that big of a deal, while others find women keeping their own names to be obnoxious and try to ignore it by just addressing stuff with the husband's name only. Maybe once you find out which camp your family and friends are in, you'll have a better idea of what type of relationship you'll be having with said family and friends.
Anonymous
Mr. and Mrs. Smith, no matter if your last name is Charles, is still technically correct.
Anonymous
Same thing happens to me, but it doesn't bother me. I love and appreciate getting cards from people.
Anonymous
Mr and Mrs Smith is correct.
I agree it can't be hard to write From/To: The Smith-Jones Family
Anonymous
Who cares? It's the thought that counts, OP.

You sound like an awful grinch.

BTW, DH and I have been married 10 years and have different last names and about half our list does this. I don't care -- they are still my friends/family! Shake it off, OP.
Anonymous
In the American culture, it is appropriate to address letters to you and your husband using his last name, even if it isn't the last name you use. The only way you will be able to change this is to write a letter to every person who addresses you this way and ask them to change their address books.
Anonymous
Chillax.
I kept my name and am a phd.
Some cards come to Dr. XYZ AND Mr. ABC
Some come to Mr and Mrs ABC. relax. Just open the card and see how cute your friends are and stick it in the card basket. Done.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:DH and I marry 4 years ago. Like a lot of people do I didn't take DH last name.

Now that is holiday season I make sure I address both last names in the envelopes with our Holiday cards to family and friends.
It bothers me that both family and friends send their cards with DH last name only. We are two in this family.. There are two last names in this family! Why is it so hard to understand?! I don't get it!

ahh vent over!


That's what you deserve for not taking his last name.
Anonymous
Personally, I don't always know how to address such envelopes. John and Jane Doe, John Doe and Jane Crow, John and Jane Crow Doe, John and Jane Doe Crow, (or any variation thereof with hyphens), John Crow and Jane Crow Doe. All of these are possibilities and frankly, when I'm addressing several dozen envelopes (or even just one) I don't have the bandwidth to deal with it or what will or won't offend your delicate sensibilities. I am sure there are very few people who are annoying you on purpose and quite a lot who just aren't sure what your preference is and how you want your name to appear on the envelope and whether there will be enough room.
Anonymous
Soon it will not matter and you will be known as Larla's Mom for the rest of your life (or at least 20+ years).
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Personally, I don't always know how to address such envelopes. John and Jane Doe, John Doe and Jane Crow, John and Jane Crow Doe, John and Jane Doe Crow, (or any variation thereof with hyphens), John Crow and Jane Crow Doe. All of these are possibilities and frankly, when I'm addressing several dozen envelopes (or even just one) I don't have the bandwidth to deal with it or what will or won't offend your delicate sensibilities. I am sure there are very few people who are annoying you on purpose and quite a lot who just aren't sure what your preference is and how you want your name to appear on the envelope and whether there will be enough room.


According to Miss Manners if the couple is married then everything is on the same line:
John Doe and Nancy Smith
123 Elm Street
Anywhere, ST 00000
If they are living together and not married then each name gets its own line:
John Doe
Nancy Smith
123 Elm Street
Anywhere, ST 00000
Anonymous
If your children have your husbands name I think your name is irrelevant unless you are my employee or my lawyer or my doctor.
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