My last name is never included...

[Anonymous]

I find people do not prioritize mail etiquette. This is something that unless insilled in you through military, finishing school, Catholic school or some other institution that valued it (could be your family) you will not learn about because when is it even mentioned.

My Brother and SIL addressed my mother as Mrs. Jane Smith in the wedding invitations. That name implied that my mother was divorced not widowed. My mother was less than thrilled about seeing her name that way in a formal invitation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who cares? It's the thought that counts, OP.

You sound like an awful grinch.

BTW, DH and I have been married 10 years and have different last names and about half our list does this. I don't care -- they are still my friends/family! Shake it off, OP.

Same here. Been married 17 years. I roll with it. There are bigger swords to fall on.

[Anonymous]

OP, you are assuming the worst out of people. Something tells me you do this often.

[Anonymous]

My suggestion is to go right ahead and complain to the people who send you those! Tell them they are disrespecting you and you need them to identify that there are two last names in your house. Trust me, you won't have a problem with it next year. Of course you probably won't get as many cards either!

[Anonymous]

At least put a silly dash

[Anonymous]

People do it to me too, OP, even the ones who have kept their own names. Oh well. What can you do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People do it to me too, OP, even the ones who have kept their own names. Oh well. What can you do?

You can stop bitching about something "you" created.

[Anonymous]

God who cares? I kept my name too and we've been married for 6 years. I don't even notice if people use my last name or his. Who cares?

[Anonymous]

Op, it was more of "a thing" 30 yrs ago. But the reason every couple doesn't do it today - is - others find it a pain. Too much detail required. Sorry. People are lazy and will do the easiest thing.

[Anonymous]

I hear 'ya OP. My husband & I have different names & our kids have a third name (ours hyphenated). We go by the "xxx-yyyy family". It does kinda bug me when we get a card addressed to husbands last name especially since we've been married ~10 yrs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Personally, I don't always know how to address such envelopes. John and Jane Doe, John Doe and Jane Crow, John and Jane Crow Doe, John and Jane Doe Crow, (or any variation thereof with hyphens), John Crow and Jane Crow Doe. All of these are possibilities and frankly, when I'm addressing several dozen envelopes (or even just one) I don't have the bandwidth to deal with it or what will or won't offend your delicate sensibilities. I am sure there are very few people who are annoying you on purpose and quite a lot who just aren't sure what your preference is and how you want your name to appear on the envelope and whether there will be enough room.

Wait, it's that confusing for you? You address it like this: John Smith and Katherine Johnson. You wouldn't use a hyphen if their names aren't hyphenated. You wouldn't use "Jane Crow Doe" unless she is using both of those as a last name. You're making this way harder than it is. If you don't even know what their names are, that's one thing. But if you know that the woman didn't change her last name, you need not get yourself into such a tizzy over it. Just address the letter to the husband and to the wife. Easy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

They do maybe no care or they forget you name.

bitch!

[Anonymous]

It can be hard to keep track of who uses what name--I'm still not sure what last name to use for the wife of DS' soccer coach--I know she uses her own last name professionally but when we've been invited to their home it's been "come to the hislastname's house" or it's just been first names.

I also know women who still have their maiden name in their longtime email address, but they have taken their husband's name, and it just gets confusing.

[Anonymous]

A lot of people just don't know any better.

Sometimes I do get cards addressed to me "& Family" from people who can't remember what DH's name is. those are my favorites.

As for me, I don't send cards out to people I don't know well enough to not know what the last names are. If I did, I probably would do as above: "Joe Smith & Family."

[Anonymous]

I have a different last name than DH and DS, but it doesn't bother me if someone uses their last name on an envelope. People don't want to spend tons of time addressing envelopes. It's not a big deal to me.