Don't know who I'm madder at, DH or In-laws

[Anonymous]

So my in-laws agreed to watch my kids overnight. My son is almost five and told me that a "big kid" came over and watched them on Friday night while the inlaws went out. The big kid turned out to be a teenager from next door. So, my in-laws agreed to watch my kids and then hired a babysitter and went out. So mad!!!! But then, it turns out my DH knew about it and thought it was fine and didn't bother to tell me. I have never left my kids alone with a teenage babysitter and I don't know this teenager. Now I feel like I can't ever leave my kids alone with my in-laws. Also, what kind of grandparent does that????? I've also lost trust in my DH's judgment.

[Anonymous]

It's weird they thought to make plans after agreeing to watch the kids but your husband agreed to it. If you're going to be mad it should be at him, of course. He's the father and he gave permission. Your in laws didn't do anything wrong.

[Anonymous]

Let the anger go. Keep you mouth shut. Now you know. You'll make decisions in the future based on this experience.

[Anonymous]

So your in-laws came over and acted like they would be watching your kids all night? And your husband played along with it, knowing darn well you wouldn't approve? I'd be mad at both but it's your DH who allowed it so he's the one that needs to apologize and not permit it to happen again.

[Anonymous]

Why didn't YOU know all this ? Haven't you been on here long enough to know all husbands are just stupid kids in a big body ?

Don't you talk to your in laws ?

[Anonymous]

I'd discuss it with DH. If in law okayed it with him,they aren't at fault.

[Anonymous]

Well, since your in laws told the father of the children what was happening, and he was ok with it, I don't think that they are in the wrong here. Your DH, on the other hand....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So my in-laws agreed to watch my kids overnight. My son is almost five and told me that a "big kid" came over and watched them on Friday night while the inlaws went out. The big kid turned out to be a teenager from next door. So, my in-laws agreed to watch my kids and then hired a babysitter and went out. So mad!!!! But then, it turns out my DH knew about it and thought it was fine and didn't bother to tell me. I have never left my kids alone with a teenage babysitter and I don't know this teenager. Now I feel like I can't ever leave my kids alone with my in-laws. Also, what kind of grandparent does that????? I've also lost trust in my DH's judgment.

OP, why do you mention this? Did he convince you to leave them with his parents?

Otherwise, I think you're right in not trusting your ILs ever again to watch your kid if they say they will. They basically lied to you by omitting that "oh BTW we're going out and hired Travis from next door to watch Johnny on Friday." Neighbor is a complete stranger to you/DH, your son, and for all you know he's a stranger to your ILs too. This is a serious breach in trust!

[Anonymous]

OP here. I should have said that my in-laws agreed to watch the kids overnight at their house. My DH took them over there. I definitely know DH is at fault. I think my frustration with the in-laws comes from them always complaining about not getting enough time with the kids and then when they do get time with them, they hire a freaking babysitter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So my in-laws agreed to watch my kids overnight. My son is almost five and told me that a "big kid" came over and watched them on Friday night while the inlaws went out. The big kid turned out to be a teenager from next door. So, my in-laws agreed to watch my kids and then hired a babysitter and went out. So mad!!!! But then, it turns out my DH knew about it and thought it was fine and didn't bother to tell me. I have never left my kids alone with a teenage babysitter and I don't know this teenager. Now I feel like I can't ever leave my kids alone with my in-laws. Also, what kind of grandparent does that????? I've also lost trust in my DH's judgment.

OP, why do you mention this? Did he convince you to leave them with his parents?

Otherwise, I think you're right in not trusting your ILs ever again to watch your kid if they say they will. They basically lied to you by omitting that "oh BTW we're going out and hired Travis from next door to watch Johnny on Friday." Neighbor is a complete stranger to you/DH, your son, and for all you know he's a stranger to your ILs too. This is a serious breach in trust!

Except that they told her husband. It's not their fault that her husband didn't bother to share this information. If I tell one half of a couple something, I don't think I'm lying if I don't also tell the other--I think that the fault here is all on the husband for agreeing to this and not telling his wife.

On the other hand, a babysitter is not the end of the world.

[Anonymous]

I don't get why anyone should be upset. They hired a babysitter and told your husband. Case closed.

Believe me, there are people with real problems out there, and yours is not one of them. (unless they asked you to pay for the babysitter)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't get why anyone should be upset. They hired a babysitter and told your husband. Case closed.

Believe me, there are people with real problems out there, and yours is not one of them. (unless they asked you to pay for the babysitter)

This -- if you do not trust your husband's judgement to pick a babysitter than you have bigger problems than your inlaws.
I can see being peeved he did not tell you about the babysitter -- but unless there was an outright lie -- meh!

[Anonymous]

Id be PISSED at my DH if he did this. ILs yes- but what the hell was your DH thinking?

Sorry OP this sucks!

[Anonymous]

DH should have told you. Get to peace with him, so he knows not to do that again.

Your ILs sound aggravating. I wouldn't take their "we don't see the grandkid enough" statements seriously---unless the overnight was as a favor to you even though they had something already scheduled.

[Anonymous]

Did they ask your DH and he gave permission? Or did they do it without asking and DH just knew about it before you?