Don't know who I'm madder at, DH or In-laws

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, if they hadn't asked your husband, but asked you instead, then it would have been alright? Cause you're the boss? So, they're your kids and he is what? And the grandparents are just dumb irresponsible people who managed to raise someone you considered fine enough to marry. All of these people are just so intolerable because they didn't kiss your ......

Who on earth agrees to watch your kids (PLURAL) and then goes behind your back and hires a random to watch your kids?
Why wouldn't you tell the mother this change of plans? Trying not to have her worry? Not cancel her plans because she suddenly has unknown childcare?

But that's not what happened. The in laws didn't go behind their back - they told their son they had an engagement, but could still watch the kids if it was ok to have a babysitter for the evening. Son said fine, that's great. We'll drop the kids off. I have a hard time seeing how the in laws have fault in this. Actually, I have a hard time seeing that this is a problem at all.

It didn't sound like the sequence of events at all. Somewhere along the lines there was a retrade of the agreement and none of the three adults told the mother.

Please speak to them all nicely and clear it up. I hope it is just an episode of cluelessness and does not happen again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So my in-laws agreed to watch my kids overnight. My son is almost five and told me that a "big kid" came over and watched them on Friday night while the inlaws went out. The big kid turned out to be a teenager from next door. So, my in-laws agreed to watch my kids and then hired a babysitter and went out. So mad!!!! But then, it turns out my DH knew about it and thought it was fine and didn't bother to tell me. I have never left my kids alone with a teenage babysitter and I don't know this teenager. Now I feel like I can't ever leave my kids alone with my in-laws. Also, what kind of grandparent does that????? I've also lost trust in my DH's judgment.

Wow. That's really beyond the pale. What your in-laws did was wrong, but your husband being in on that and not telling you? He's the father and he OK-ed the situation. Mayor trust breach in my book.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get why anyone should be upset. They hired a babysitter and told your husband. Case closed.

Believe me, there are people with real problems out there, and yours is not one of them. (unless they asked you to pay for the babysitter)

This is a real problem! I would be so disgusted. This is totally unsafe and unacceptable, not to mention risky. WTF teenage boy babysitter? Normal boys are not interested. etc. I'm mad at all of them for your kid's sake, OP!

You're a bigot. The fact that they hired a TEENAGE babysitter without the mother knowing is the problem (along with a host of other issues, such as, to quote just a few: how much experience does this kid have? Can he do CPR? Can he keep his head clear in case of an emergency?), the sex of the babysitter is irrelevant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you people freakin kidding me? No one I haven't met gets to watch my kids! No never!!! I would be furious at all involved esp H. WTF!!

Your husband and father of your children, should be able to make decisions without his wifes confirmation.

No, not on this. The choice of a babysitter is a MAJOR choice. It doesn't happen without the consent of BOTH parents, in my home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get why anyone should be upset. They hired a babysitter and told your husband. Case closed.

Believe me, there are people with real problems out there, and yours is not one of them. (unless they asked you to pay for the babysitter)

This -- if you do not trust your husband's judgement to pick a babysitter than you have bigger problems than your inlaws.
I can see being peeved he did not tell you about the babysitter -- but unless there was an outright lie -- meh!

But the husband didn't "pick out" the sitter. it sounds like the ILs told the husband and he said 'ok" but knew his wife would be pissed so he purposely did not tell her. I don't get at all that at anytime he asked about the sitters background, skills etc. Does the sitter know anything about kid safety? I would be pissed off too. The husband sounds like a complete doormat, afraid of his parents and wife. And the mom sounds like she has to always be the "bad cop" as the responsible parent. the Ils sound like dicks.

[Anonymous]

So, OP, what happened? Please fill us in!