Don't know who I'm madder at, DH or In-laws
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
| I'd be annoyed, but wouldn't make a huge deal. Next time they want to do this I'd just ask if they plan to be home with your child, or hire a sitter. If you don't like the answer, then say "maybe another time when you're able to be home with Larlo". |
Anonymous
| Are you people freakin kidding me? No one I haven't met gets to watch my kids! No never!!! I would be furious at all involved esp H. WTF!! |
Anonymous
Take your smiley face and unhelpful comments to another thread that meets your "real problem" definition. |
Anonymous
This is a real problem! I would be so disgusted. This is totally unsafe and unacceptable, not to mention risky. WTF teenage boy babysitter? Normal boys are not interested. etc. I'm mad at all of them for your kid's sake, OP! 
|
Anonymous
| My neighbor's teen was dealing drugs and bipolar. She always was trying to get sitting jobs to pay for her habit. |
Anonymous
|
OP - How old are your children? I ask this because if both are say school-aged boys and a teenage boy was hired for a couple of hours with his Mom at home and number in hand that is one thing (not great, though); however, if at least one of your children was closer to a toddler and might have needed direct changing or bathroom help and a girl and a teen boy was hired, then I would definitely be furious with the in-laws. You need to sit down with your in-laws and calmly express your disappointment with them saying that they know you yourself have never used a teen sitter for what can be very valid reasons. They knowingly did not disclose their plan to use a teen sitter. And, if something had come up, they should have told you so you could meet the sitter and/or consider whether to use him/her and make the final decision. Tell them it will take time to rebuild any trust to watch the kids because of this. I would not kill this options, but really set hard expectations on any future opportunity to watch the kids. Meantime, as I tell my middle daughter, get going on finding at least one reliable sitter who meets your criteria so you will have options to go out - be it older teenager, community college or adult. You can use places like Care.com or Sitters.com. Check neighborhood list.serves or ask around friends for recommendations. One of the best ways is to start a younger teen out as a "Mother's Helper" and train them yourself. Then try any sitter, even an adult, out during the day and return unexpectedly early or in between if just getting out yourself to see how things are going. One good thing is that you already have one child who can talk and tell you what is going on so there is safety in knowing that milestone has been reached. |
Anonymous
Your husband and father of your children, should be able to make decisions without his wifes confirmation. |
Anonymous
| I would be mad too at the in-laws and husband. OP, you need to talk with them and express your concern and disagreement. |
Anonymous
Luckily my DH has sense enough not to leave a five year old with an inverted teenager! |
Anonymous
| Oops stupid phone not inverted...unvetted |
Anonymous
LMAO! I was wondering what that meant! |
Anonymous
Yes, DH and OP should have enough open honest communication between them that they have a full understanding of how they each feel regarding parenting decisions, and they treat child-related decisions as a partnership. This thread can go off on a gigantic tangent over what age is appropriate for a babysitter, what kinds of pre-sitting meetings should or should not happen, quality time with ILs, etc., but that isn't really the point. DH knew that the kids weren't going to be watched by his parents, but by a sitter. He also neglected to mention this detail to his wife. We have two options here: 1. OP is astoundingly obtuse about his wife's feelings, and was being quite clueless to not mention to his wife, or think it needed to be mentioned. 2. OP's DH was absolutely aware that OP wouldn't want the kids to be left with a sitter at ILs house. He deliberately kept this news from wife because he wanted the evening out and didn't want any roadblock. So, take your pick, but either one suggests the needs for some serious discussion between OP and DH. |
Anonymous
| The child has TWO parents. One of them agreed. The mother happen not to know the teenager but that is not the same as unvetted. |
Anonymous
|
Possible scenario: Something came up that was important for them to attend. They didn't want to mess up your plans, got a sitter, told your DH who was okay with it, and went out.
No biggie. That said, if you're unhappy with what happened discussion is in order with all parties. But it's not like they put the kid in the microwave or something. |
Anonymous
No, one of the two parents agreed to let an un-vetted sitter watch their children. |