Moving to DC from CA for Love

[Anonymous]

I love my bf, he's my best friend, and I believe he and I would make great lifelong partners someday. He's moving to DC in January for work, and asked if I would move with him. We are currently in San Diego, my hometown. It would be hard for me to leave family and close friends behind. I would also be leaving a solid job. If it weren't for him moving, I'd be content with where I am now. This feels like home to me. But I don't want to risk losing him. I'm 32, and have had my share of long term relationships but never felt the way I feel with him.

Has anyone ever moved for love before? Is it crazy to leave all these things behind for something so uncertain?

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't leave without being engaged, at least.

[Anonymous]

How long have you been dating? Have you guys talked about marriage?

Personally, I wouldn't do it without an engagement ring. You're giving up a lot and taking a big risk.

That said, my BFF did basically that - asked to move with him and they were only dating. It worked in that they are married with 2 kids -- though not very happily.

[Anonymous]

Def don't move unless you're engaged.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love my bf, he's my best friend, and I believe he and I would make great lifelong partners someday. He's moving to DC in January for work, and asked if I would move with him. We are currently in San Diego, my hometown. It would be hard for me to leave family and close friends behind. I would also be leaving a solid job. If it weren't for him moving, I'd be content with where I am now. This feels like home to me. But I don't want to risk losing him. I'm 32, and have had my share of long term relationships but never felt the way I feel with him.

Has anyone ever moved for love before? Is it crazy to leave all these things behind for something so uncertain?

I did but I was engaged with a wedding date and lined up a good job first. Don't make the move until you do at least have a job there.

[Anonymous]

I left San Diego, but I was married with kids. It was very difficult.

[Anonymous]

Do you live together now? Would you move in together in DC?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Def don't move unless you're engaged.

Move if YOU want to, not for a fucking ring. Maybe once you get here you won't want to marry him anyway.

[Anonymous]

I moved for love. Best decision. If I would not have done it, I would have regretted it forever.

Married someone else -- happily -- but will feel that way. You don't get a dress rehearsal in life. YOLO.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

PP again. When it didn't work out, I moved back home! No issues falling right back into my perfect path.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP again. When it didn't work out, I moved back home! No issues falling right back into my perfect path.

How old were you PP? I ask (I'm a pp) because I think the fact that she's 32 is important. If she were 22 I would say absolutely go for it - but at 32 presumably she's getting established in her career where she is and may not have the luxury to come back to her life and the track she was on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP again. When it didn't work out, I moved back home! No issues falling right back into my perfect path.

How old were you PP? I ask (I'm a pp) because I think the fact that she's 32 is important. If she were 22 I would say absolutely go for it - but at 32 presumably she's getting established in her career where she is and may not have the luxury to come back to her life and the track she was on.

32 she may not have the luxury to find another soul mate.

[Anonymous]

OP, I would let him move here first, give it 90 days long distance. See if you can find an equal or better job, then reevaluate where you both are with your feelings and intentions. Life is about taking risks, but safe risks are OK too. Best wishes to you and take it from someone who has lived on both coasts, you must like cold and heat if you live here. You will be San Diego dreamin' a lot of days, if not.

[Anonymous]

We have been dating for 14 months. We are not engaged, but we have talked about marriage and about moving in together. We both want to live together first before getting married, be good to test the waters first. I don't have a job lined up, but I have money saved away to support me for about 4-6 months in case I'm not able to find work right away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have been dating for 14 months. We are not engaged, but we have talked about marriage and about moving in together. We both want to live together first before getting married, be good to test the waters first. I don't have a job lined up, but I have money saved away to support me for about 4-6 months in case I'm not able to find work right away.

as long as you have discussed it an are on the same page, go for it! I just worry about the scenario where he's "just not that into you" and you tag along anyhow...