Sudden Onset of erectile dysfunction
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Anonymous
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I'm so torn apart right now for my DH. He literally has had a sudden onset of ED. His sex drive was through the roof. I mean probably abnormally high. Then BAM all of a sudden last week started losing erections (and then one night I made a horrible[b] mistake and made it about me, which I terribly regret because I realize that it was not me). I'm not sure if the ED is now psychological or what. I've made him a drs appointment which he is very embarrassed about and says that he's not sure if he can talk about it. I might accompany him because this is really important and nothing to hide from the doctor!!!
PLEASE has anyone had success fixing ED??? My DH is in excellent shape. He is not overweight and he hits the weights at the gym regularly and he is under 40. He is completely sick over this and I see him sinking into a seriously horrible place right now. My heart is breaking for him. As a man, his ability to please me has been something he has always been very proud of. This is killing him. Please tell me your stories. I need to hear something positive right now. What should do? Should I try to initiate sex and see if we can fix it? Should I back off? He's been trying to initiate, but then gets sooo upset when it does not work that I think initiating is making it worse. I don't know what to do!! This is not something people talk about and I fee so all alone trying to help him. I love him so much and I hate seeing him beat himself up. I'm 100% on board with helping him work through this. I don't look down on him for it. I want him to be happy again. |
Anonymous
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wow, this just started last week and you really seem to be freaking out about this. poor guy. I'd avoid running to the doctor if he's this anxious.
any number of temporary things could cause this and now that you've added all this anxiety it isn't going to help. take it slow and back off. if nothing improves in a couple more weeks then visit the doctor. I'm not sure you appreciate how crazy about this you sound in your post. i'd back off a bit and just try for some alone time and see what happens with zero pressure. |
Anonymous
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ED can be the sign of a serious medical problem, such as a heart issue or diabetes. A visit to the doctor is in order.
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Anonymous
This is horribly ignorant advice. ED can be a sign of serious medical problems. OP os spot om about sending her husband to the doctor. |
Anonymous
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My boyfriend has ED. He is on some medications that can cause it, but I think that (for him) it is also psychological. As a woman, it is hard for us to comprehend the anxiety that ED can generate in men.
After a thorough medical check up, the doctor prescribed Viagra to him. He cuts the tabs in half and that is enough to work well for him. As we have been together longer, we rarely have any need for the pills. He does say that whenever he "thinks" about the ED, it affects him more. I think seeing a doctor to rule out anything too serious is important. Then I think the taking something for the ED may be enough to make him feel less performance anxiety. Try to be supportive and understanding. It sounds like he is reluctant to really talk about it, even with you. I would ask him if he wants you to initiate. Could he enjoy satisfying you without getting the satisfaction himself? |
Anonymous
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OP, you are right to be concerned. I am in my mid-30s and if I suddenly had ED, I would be terrified. Unless he is taking some kind of medication, or there is some other obvious explanation, he should see a doctor ASAP. A healthy man under 40 really shouldn't have sudden ED.
I think as as long as this is about him and his health, he will understand your concern. Just don't make it about you, or act disappointed. There have been other threads where women describe reactions in a way that seems insensitive and it makes the man feel ashamed and resentful. Soemtimes , I wish I could hire a skywriter to say "Ladies, ED is usually not about you, so don't make it about you." |
Anonymous
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OP here. Thank you to the last two posters. I'm keeping a cool exterior to him, but am freaking out inside. It has nothing to do with me and I know that. The reason I'm freaking is that I LOVE him and it is killing me to see him so stressed about this. He's feeling so insecure and horrible and I just keep telling him that he's anxious and I'm doing everything to make home life as pleasant for him as possible. I'm avoiding talking about it.
Nope. Hes on no meds. He's the picture of health. He went from 90MPH to 0 overnight. This has not been in any way shape or form a slow roll. |
Anonymous
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Definitely make sure he gets checked up just to make sure.
Once he is reassured that his health is OK and his wife is being cool about it, things will probably resolve themselves naturally, once he has a chance to work through the feelings of insecurity and resentment. |
Anonymous
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Having "ED" one night means nothing and can happen anyway. The problems from there are:
• Is it medical? Anxiety begins. • Why did it happen? Anxiety begins or continues. • Will it happen again? Anxiety continues and causes it to happen again. Purely psychological. • STUPID WOMAN: "It's me, isn't it?" – Causes insane amount of stress. The fear of it happening again, causing you to think it's because of you, will make it happen again tenfold. Want to bring him back? Play with his cock. Play with it soft. Suck it. Massage his balls. LOVE his small cock. Once he realizes you love his cock and are willing to suck it and lick it, even while flaccid, the problem will resolve itself. Again, a doctor running a heart stress test still isn't a bad idea, but try the playing. |
Anonymous
| Try having sex in the morning. My DH with medication induced ED can always get a chubby in the morning. |
Anonymous
Older male here with sudden onset of ED in early 50s. I knew the reason though, didn't have anything to do with the wife. The first part of this pp response regards the anxiety issue hits the nail on the head. The more my wife kept making it about her, the more it stressed me and just became impossible for me to get an erection. Mine was caused by a HS GF that started flirting with me heavily via email and sexting. All of a sudden within a 24 hr period, all my sexual focus was on her. I'm not able to focus sexually on more than one woman at a time. Second part of pp was all wrong in my case. Wife became very concerned, played with my cock and sucked for a long time. Nothing at all would get me hard. She insisted on taking me to the Dr. She told the Dr point blank that she wanted me hard. He prescribed Testosterone shots. Still didn't help. I couldn't get an erection until I broke off all the flirting with prior GF a few wks later. Next day, hard as concrete. It was all in my head. |
Anonymous
| He can still please you! Oral sex all the way baby! Use this as an opportunity to make him better in that arena |
Anonymous
I know you are trying to be helpful to the OP, but please get a clue. This would come across as insensitive and her making it about her. Again, don't make it about you. Just relax and don't force things. |
Anonymous
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My husband was totally reliable in the erection department for almost two decades. One day BAM he started having problems.
I tried so many things. He acted sooo clueless. It turned out it started right at the time he got interested in another woman. Guilt. |
Anonymous
| He needs a trip to the doctor. Rule out the physical before you take a trip through his head. So much easier. |