So: Are there good guys and girls out there? Is anyone happily married for a long time?

[Anonymous]

When you read these forums, or just watch life unfold, it seems nothing is good. People cheat, hurt each other, are withholding, good people are single, abusive assholes are married, so, I just want some hope. Are you married to someone you love and are faithful to, are they good to you? I know passionate love changes to companionate love, but do you look at that person and still value them vs. be bored?

Give.me.hope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When you read these forums, or just watch life unfold, it seems nothing is good. People cheat, hurt each other, are withholding, good people are single, abusive assholes are married, so, I just want some hope. Are you married to someone you love and are faithful to, are they good to you? I know passionate love changes to companionate love, but do you look at that person and still value them vs. be bored?

Give.me.hope.

Well, there is a self-selection of those who post. Why would those who are happily married post questions and complaints?

[Anonymous]

I'm one! Happy after 23 years -- and DH still acts like he likes me, too. Even with kids and stress from family stuff and jobs, we have always made sure we talk about everything and carve out time by ourselves or with friends.

[Anonymous]

I'm happily married but I'm not happy every day. Is anybody? Sometimes reading these forums helps me in that I see that our issues are shared by many.

Been married 6 years and been with my SO for 11.

[Anonymous]

OP-here. I thought I did everything right with my ex. I was honest, faithful, I was available emotionally and sexually. Addressed issues head on, with calm and honest demeanor. I'm attractive. It still failed. He still cheated, left and said he never loved me. Wrecked me bad. I gave up on men for a while, met one I really like, but kept thinking he had to be fake/lying/have ulterior motives, and I ruined it. I look around and I see similar stories, and I'm just wondering, will it all ever click for me? Does it click for anyone? Is there really happiness with another or are we deluding ourselves. I know everyone asks these questions and the books I read on the topic make me ask more not answer any. I'm in a mood. Thanks for indulging me.

[Anonymous]

We've been happily married for 28 years. We still love each other and are faithful. He treats me like a princess. We still have passion and have a great sex life. He is my very best friend. We raised five children together - I don't think you get through raising kids without collecting some battle scars along the way. We've shared plenty of wonderful times along with plenty of difficult times. We have always put each other and our marriage above everything and everyone else.

I think there are lots of happy couples out there. You just don't see them on this forum very often.

[Anonymous]

I'm happily married. But this is the guy's second marriage.

[Anonymous]

Married 14, together over 20.

[Anonymous]

First girl friend/boy friend relationship. Met first year in college... Together for 32 years. Still very happy together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP-here. I thought I did everything right with my ex. I was honest, faithful, I was available emotionally and sexually. Addressed issues head on, with calm and honest demeanor. I'm attractive. It still failed. He still cheated, left and said he never loved me. Wrecked me bad. I gave up on men for a while, met one I really like, but kept thinking he had to be fake/lying/have ulterior motives, and I ruined it. I look around and I see similar stories, and I'm just wondering, will it all ever click for me? Does it click for anyone? Is there really happiness with another or are we deluding ourselves. I know everyone asks these questions and the books I read on the topic make me ask more not answer any. I'm in a mood. Thanks for indulging me.

It sounds like you have a good understanding of what you need, and what men need. You'll find someone. Or more than one!

Sorry to hear about your ex. Sure sounds like you didn't deserve that at all.

[Anonymous]

I met my husband my freshman year of college. We've been together for 26 years and married for 17. He really is all you could ask for in a husband and life partner. The overwhelming majority of our friends have similar stories so there are definitely a lot of happy endings out there. I hope you find yours.

[Anonymous]

Not a long time but 6 years and extremely happy. The flush good feelings and love every time you think of each other type happy.

[Anonymous]

Been together 8 years and am blissfully happy. We kiss multiple times a day, still say we love each other and hold hands occasionally. And great sex!

Something that's really awesome for us is to go to happy hour together after work. I dress up and we flirt all evening. It always brings back those butterfly feelings from when we were first dating. It feels so special too because we know we could just go home and open a bottle of wine, but it's more fun out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I met my husband my freshman year of college. We've been together for 26 years and married for 17. He really is all you could ask for in a husband and life partner. The overwhelming majority of our friends have similar stories so there are definitely a lot of happy endings out there. I hope you find yours.

I agree. Nearly all of our friends are still married to their first spouse.
My spouse and I have been together for 41 years - married 33 of them. We were HS sweethearts.
Still happy!
Generally, people who are happily married are not going to post issues on a relationship forum even though we all go through rough spells.

[Anonymous]

My husband and I met in high school in 2000, started dating that year and married about a decade later. So we have been together for 14 years now. We have some disagreements and and quibbles of course, but overall we are happy.