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Babysitter got pregnant by married man...
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Anonymous
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OK, I'm no stick in the mud, but I have older kids (5 and 3) so they know what's going on. Her boyfriend (who it turns out is married) hangs out with them. Clearly, they are not married to each other.
I think she is not acting as a good role model for my kids. And I can't judge her behavior out loud, or tell my kids I think they should make different decisions. Am I being remiss as a parent for taking the easy way out and keeping the sitter (good sitters are so hard to come by!)? What would you do? For the sympathetic among you, you should know she is an adult, well-off financially (designer clothes I could only dream of), and really should have known better. |
Anonymous
| Do your children know that the man is married? If not, I wouldn't think it would be a huge deal. If they do, then that's a problem. If you're paying her, I'm not sure why she's having dates anyway -- with a married or non-married man. If this is just a friend, then you should be able to approach her and ask her not to do that around your kids. Tell her that you're not judging her (even if you are) and that you just don't want to have to answer your kids questions about a subject you're not ready for them to know about. Fair enough, right? I do think it's not appropriate for your kids to be spending time in that situation (with the sitter and her paramour), but that's just me. |
Anonymous
| I wouldn't be comfortable with a babysitter bringing over a boyfriend, married or not. I think that's the real issue. |
Anonymous
| Why is the boyfriend hanging around while she is working? Is he coming to your house?? |
Anonymous
| I've worked for families for years and they have never met my boyfriend. How do your 5 and 3 yr old know this man? Does he come over while she is working? I would have a real problem w/ that. |
Anonymous
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If your kids are happy, leave it at that.
3 and 5 year olds no not make future life descisions on who to date at that age |
Anonymous
Just curious, why is she babysitting? Is she old and retired? It's the parent's call as to whether or not boyfriends are allowed over when someone is babysitting. Why do you allow the married boyfriend to come over? It's your own fault they are exposed to him. |
Anonymous
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She doesn't sound like a good sitter to me at all. Why does her boyfriend hang out with her while she is working?
Also, if you don't think she is a good role model, why would you want her taking care of your children? If they are old enough to know what's going on, they are possibly old enough to think - when they remember back on it - that you condone (1) single motherhood and (2) adultery. I would have no problem telling her you no longer need her services. And if she asks why, I would tell her that she is not a good role model for children. Seriously - part of the problem with the US today is that we worry so much about not being judgmental that we don't even raise our eyebrows at truly bad behavior, like cheating. |
Anonymous
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Getting pregnant by someone you are not married to does not automatically translate into no longer good with or for children.
In fact, neither does becoming a single parent (says single parent). If the issue is really why the hell is her boyfriend over while she's sitting, that's another matter entirely. Then again, getting someone pregnant who isn't your wife does not automatically translate into etc. etc. etc. |
Anonymous
| With all due respect, getting pregnant not only by a man you aren't married to, but by one who isn't likely to marry you or at least be a partner and active father because he's married to another woman would translate into her no longer being good for my kids. As would her bringing her married boyfriend to my home. Perhaps we are missing a lot of details here, but it sounds like her values are not my family's values, and I would tell her we no longer want her to babysit. |
Anonymous
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I think you are being remiss as a parent for allowing your sitter to have her boyfriend over while working.
My nanny has specific guidelines that no one is allowed in the house unless pre-approved. I don't care if it is another nanny, boyfriend, girlfriend, mother etc. There needs to be a really good reason why someone else is in my house and around my kids. |
Anonymous
Yup, that's the real issue. But also, do you want a sitter that has such drama in her personal life? What if boyfriend's wife finds out and confronts her at work? |
Anonymous
| I really don't see how a 3 and 5 year-old are affected by the decisions of their baby-sitter and her married boyfriend. Do you think that, 10 years down the road, they are going to become promiscuous as a result of this? |
Anonymous
We have the same rules at my house. There is no need for another person, especially a male stranger, to be in the house with you kids. |
Anonymous
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Let's hear it OP. If this is for real, all of us inquiring minds want to know why a boyfriend/married man/stranger is over at your with the babysitter.
Is the married man your husband? |