S/O Need comeback for recurring FIL comment

[Anonymous]

I am 4 years older than my DH. We've been married for 16 years, 2 kids, all is well on that front. Our age difference has not been an issue, in fact people usually take me for the younger one.

We see my ILs 2-3 times a year. My FIL often makes the comment that DH is a "child bridegroom" or that I "robbed the cradle". How can I respond to this?

Sometimes it doesn't bother me that much, but if FIL has been particularly annoying that visit then it does bother me. He's the type that needles others, brings up old embarrassing things to tease family members about over and over, in general he has kind of a jerky sense of humor. I'm terrible at shutting it down.

He teases MIL about her mechanical incompetance and I was gratified to see her stick up for herself on our last visit last week, when she said, "how come you get to tease me all day long and laugh, but when I tease you, you get all mad and huffy?" He doesn't like to be "disrespected". He can dish it out but he can't take it.

On the most recent visit my DH asked him calmly to slow down and stop tailgating people. He was super offended, sulked and then brought it up at dinner to defend his driving. He had been stewing about it all day long I guess.

Can you tell my FIL is not my favorite person?

[Anonymous]

"Shut the fuck up!" Too strong?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Shut the fuck up!" Too strong?

Nah. STFU or something similar tells him that he's irritated you and that he's found a nerve.

Maybe something like "FIL, I notice you like to emphasize how young DH is. Does that help you avoid focusing on your own mortality?"

[Anonymous]

Maybe don't go on every visit?

[Anonymous]

They come to us plenty. I take a lot of long runs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Shut the fuck up!" Too strong?

Nah. STFU or something similar tells him that he's irritated you and that he's found a nerve.

Maybe something like "FIL, I notice you like to emphasize how young DH is. Does that help you avoid focusing on your own mortality?"

I think this one is fantastic...

[Anonymous]

How about a sarcastic "haha", followed by "Bob, I think it's time you find a new joke. This one's pretty old".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am 4 years older than my DH. We've been married for 16 years, 2 kids, all is well on that front. Our age difference has not been an issue, in fact people usually take me for the younger one.

We see my ILs 2-3 times a year. My FIL often makes the comment that DH is a "child bridegroom" or that I "robbed the cradle". How can I respond to this?

Sometimes it doesn't bother me that much, but if FIL has been particularly annoying that visit then it does bother me. He's the type that needles others, brings up old embarrassing things to tease family members about over and over, in general he has kind of a jerky sense of humor. I'm terrible at shutting it down.

He teases MIL about her mechanical incompetance and I was gratified to see her stick up for herself on our last visit last week, when she said, "how come you get to tease me all day long and laugh, but when I tease you, you get all mad and huffy?" He doesn't like to be "disrespected". He can dish it out but he can't take it.

On the most recent visit my DH asked him calmly to slow down and stop tailgating people. He was super offended, sulked and then brought it up at dinner to defend his driving. He had been stewing about it all day long I guess.

Can you tell my FIL is not my favorite person?

"Robbed the cradle? He was running away screaming from you people!"

too much?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 4 years older than my DH. We've been married for 16 years, 2 kids, all is well on that front. Our age difference has not been an issue, in fact people usually take me for the younger one.

We see my ILs 2-3 times a year. My FIL often makes the comment that DH is a "child bridegroom" or that I "robbed the cradle". How can I respond to this?

Sometimes it doesn't bother me that much, but if FIL has been particularly annoying that visit then it does bother me. He's the type that needles others, brings up old embarrassing things to tease family members about over and over, in general he has kind of a jerky sense of humor. I'm terrible at shutting it down.

He teases MIL about her mechanical incompetance and I was gratified to see her stick up for herself on our last visit last week, when she said, "how come you get to tease me all day long and laugh, but when I tease you, you get all mad and huffy?" He doesn't like to be "disrespected". He can dish it out but he can't take it.

On the most recent visit my DH asked him calmly to slow down and stop tailgating people. He was super offended, sulked and then brought it up at dinner to defend his driving. He had been stewing about it all day long I guess.

Can you tell my FIL is not my favorite person?

"Robbed the cradle? He was running away screaming from you people!"

too much?

Oooh I like this one!

or "Yep, I'm a real cougar!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How about a sarcastic "haha", followed by "Bob, I think it's time you find a new joke. This one's pretty old".

or maybe "Bob, I think it's time you find a new joke. That one's even older than I am!"

If he likes to push people's buttons (and it sounds like he does), making fun of your supposedly advanced age yourself takes away much of the satisfaction he gets from his "joke."

[Anonymous]

"That jokes so old. Either you need new jokes or I need a new father-in-law".

[Anonymous]

I think I'd say something like

"I like em young, older men do nothing for me... they tend to, I don't know, repeat themselves, for one thing."

or some variation of that.

[Anonymous]

^^ joke's

[Anonymous]

wow. Not the op but y'all have come up wtih some great, sound comebacks.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks for these, I love them! I want to be prepared next time.

I have wondered why our age difference is an issue for my FIL. I believe it's because he and MIL are terrified of doing anything outside the norm and worry excessively about what others think. So us deviating from the traditional older man/younger woman paradigm was anxiety-producing for them and they worried about what their friends and family would think about it. Maybe they still worry about it!

They are deeply insecure and comment incessantly about other people: their cars, weight, state of their yards, etc.