S/O Need comeback for recurring FIL comment

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for these, I love them! I want to be prepared next time.

I have wondered why our age difference is an issue for my FIL. I believe it's because he and MIL are terrified of doing anything outside the norm and worry excessively about what others think. So us deviating from the traditional older man/younger woman paradigm was anxiety-producing for them and they worried about what their friends and family would think about it. Maybe they still worry about it!

They are deeply insecure and comment incessantly about other people: their cars, weight, state of their yards, etc.

I'm going to make a sweeping generalization: There are people who are very comfortable with everyone doing things their own way, and there are people who believe there's a "right" way to do things. The latter often are very threatened when someone else does something differently, because if there's only one right way, then one of them must be wrong -- and what if it's *them*?

[Anonymous]

We see my ILs 2-3 times a year. My FIL often makes the comment that DH is a "child bridegroom" or that I "robbed the cradle". How can I respond to this?

He was old enough to know what he wanted...me. You repeat that a lot. Have you been having problems with your memory? Maybe you should have your doctor check you out.

[Anonymous]

"Bob, you say that every time we see you. What is your point?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am 4 years older than my DH. We've been married for 16 years, 2 kids, all is well on that front. Our age difference has not been an issue, in fact people usually take me for the younger one.

We see my ILs 2-3 times a year. My FIL often makes the comment that DH is a "child bridegroom" or that I "robbed the cradle". How can I respond to this?

Sometimes it doesn't bother me that much, but if FIL has been particularly annoying that visit then it does bother me. He's the type that needles others, brings up old embarrassing things to tease family members about over and over, in general he has kind of a jerky sense of humor. I'm terrible at shutting it down.

He teases MIL about her mechanical incompetance and I was gratified to see her stick up for herself on our last visit last week, when she said, "how come you get to tease me all day long and laugh, but when I tease you, you get all mad and huffy?" He doesn't like to be "disrespected". He can dish it out but he can't take it.

On the most recent visit my DH asked him calmly to slow down and stop tailgating people. He was super offended, sulked and then brought it up at dinner to defend his driving. He had been stewing about it all day long I guess.

Can you tell my FIL is not my favorite person?

LOL. I'm astounded that a 4 year age difference matters to anyone after both parties are older than, say, 22. In my family we run age differences of 10+ years between partners, in both directions.

FIl sounds like a real piece of work who is starting to really annoy everyone, so I am all for using all the comebacks on this thread. People so worried about others can be so exhausting!

[Anonymous]

re this and the other FIL-comeback thread, I just want to say, I think this is a BRILLIANT USE OF DCUM.

[Anonymous]

I'm six years older than my husband. If people say things like that to me about robbing the cradle, I just day I sure did and leave it at that. Your father-in-law sounds like a bully. The best way to deal with him is to not react. He's looking for a reaction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm six years older than my husband. If people say things like that to me about robbing the cradle, I just day I sure did and leave it at that. Your father-in-law sounds like a bully. The best way to deal with him is to not react. He's looking for a reaction.

He'll keep pushing if you don't react. People who are integrity-challenged (like your FIL) will keep pushing to see what they can get away with, to quote an integrity-challenged friend of mine. I recommend you make good use of the suggested responses PPs have been generous enough to post. Those responses? -That's how you shut down a bully.

[Anonymous]

I like young c**k.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think I'd say something like

"I like em young, older men do nothing for me... they tend to, I don't know, repeat themselves, for one thing."

or some variation of that.

Best one!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I like young c**k.

Lol, THIS! And you can embarrass your kids at the same time!

People who think if you ignore bullies they leave you alone, I wonder, have you ever met a bully in your life?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:re this and the other FIL-comeback thread, I just want to say, I think this is a BRILLIANT USE OF DCUM.

Agreed. We are putting our collective snark towards a valiant purpose!

(Reminds me of the scene in Amelie where she gets snappy retorts prompted to her)

[Anonymous]

He is a bully. That is precisely the word. I stood up to him this last visit on a different recurring issue and it felt GREAT. But, when he whipped out the you're so old and you robbed the cradle canard I was unprepared and had nothing.

Another of his oldies but goodies is mentioning how MIL weighed the same when she left the hospital as she did before she got pregnant. He really knows how to zero in on a person's weaknesses. I'm not fat but I wasn't skinny when I left the hosptial postpartum.

[Anonymous]

I'd probably say 'Yes, I highly recommend marrying younger men. The next time [mother-in-law] gets married I hope she gets one too.'

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

We see my ILs 2-3 times a year. My FIL often makes the comment that DH is a "child bridegroom" or that I "robbed the cradle". How can I respond to this?

He was old enough to know what he wanted...me. You repeat that a lot. Have you been having problems with your memory? Maybe you should have your doctor check you out.

My favorite. My MIL used to imply I married DH for his earnings potential. I literally make twice what he makes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd probably say 'Yes, I highly recommend marrying younger men. The next time [mother-in-law] gets married I hope she gets one too.'

Nice one!... You can take it one further, and say "... I highly recommend younger men for their sexual prowess... you should try one Bob."