I'm jealous and angry my ex-husband's new wife is a better mother and wife than I am

[Anonymous]

I just gotta get it all out.

Better wife:
1. Has more time to spend with him
2. Is in a better mood when she spends time with him
3. In much better shape than I am
4. Keeps her house much neater and cleaner than I ever kept ours - no piles of mail, no piles of laundry, everything in the (clean, with zero spills) refrigerator is lined up neatly
5. Isn't annoyed by him as much as I was

Better mom:
1. So much more patience
2. Can talk them into things I never could (being quiet when adults are talking, I thought they were picky eaters - now they're not, we used to have screaming battles of getting dressed - she tells them to get their socks on and they skip off)
3. She's totally on top of who has to go where and when
4. She's always prepared (buys the birthday gift immediately after RSVPing to party, always has a decent snack in her purse, always has a bandaid or ponytail holder)
5. Makes time for things I could never make time for (they eat much healthier there)

I can tell they're much happier in this house than they were when exDH and I were together. I found it SO HARD to work all day AND be a wife and mother. I HATE it that the new wife is always so kind to me. She welcomes me into her home like a member of the family. Her bathroom medicine cabinet in the kids bathroom is stocked with every medicine or type of first aid they might need, the kids towels are color coordinated. She's five thousand times more organized than I am. I just HATE her sometimes!

[Anonymous]

I get it OP, but for your kids sake, you should be grateful. Sounds like it's a great situation for them when they're away from you.

You could get her back OP by getting yourself an awesome husband!

[Anonymous]

Lucky guy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just gotta get it all out.

Better wife:
1. Has more time to spend with him
2. Is in a better mood when she spends time with him
3. In much better shape than I am
4. Keeps her house much neater and cleaner than I ever kept ours - no piles of mail, no piles of laundry, everything in the (clean, with zero spills) refrigerator is lined up neatly
5. Isn't annoyed by him as much as I was

Better mom:
1. So much more patience
2. Can talk them into things I never could (being quiet when adults are talking, I thought they were picky eaters - now they're not, we used to have screaming battles of getting dressed - she tells them to get their socks on and they skip off)
3. She's totally on top of who has to go where and when
4. She's always prepared (buys the birthday gift immediately after RSVPing to party, always has a decent snack in her purse, always has a bandaid or ponytail holder)
5. Makes time for things I could never make time for (they eat much healthier there)

I can tell they're much happier in this house than they were when exDH and I were together. I found it SO HARD to work all day AND be a wife and mother. I HATE it that the new wife is always so kind to me. She welcomes me into her home like a member of the family. Her bathroom medicine cabinet in the kids bathroom is stocked with every medicine or type of first aid they might need, the kids towels are color coordinated. She's five thousand times more organized than I am. I just HATE her sometimes!

You were unhappy with him, right? You will find happiness too, be patient.

[Anonymous]

Before the more elaborate advice tips starts pouring in may I just say plain and simply put...

[Anonymous]

Take heart that you will always be their mother. They will love you no matter what.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't have medicine so accessible to kids.

[Anonymous]

Understandable, but don't beat yourself up! I am sure you have a great list and she is probably jealous of some things too.

Chin up and be thankful your kids are in GREAT hands!
How would you feel if she was horrible?

[Anonymous]

Well, you said it yourself, it is his NEW wife. At some point along the way when you were "new" you probably treated him better. And being a step mom does not compare to being a mom. Not to knock step moms, I just mean that if there is an involved mom, you can't compare how you are a mom to your kids vs. how the step mom is - she probably has less time with them, probably little if any alone time with them, and they are "new" to her too.

Don't get me wrong, I hope that she remains a great wife and mom, but the comparisons aren't really fair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, you said it yourself, it is his NEW wife. At some point along the way when you were "new" you probably treated him better. And being a step mom does not compare to being a mom. Not to knock step moms, I just mean that if there is an involved mom, you can't compare how you are a mom to your kids vs. how the step mom is - she probably has less time with them, probably little if any alone time with them, and they are "new" to her too.

Don't get me wrong, I hope that she remains a great wife and mom, but the comparisons aren't really fair.

OP here - no, they live with them. I get them on weekends. I agreed to it because ex-Dh was always the main caregiver. So she spends a lot more time with them than I do.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like the kids got a better situation. Isn't that what it's all about in the long run?

[Anonymous]

Maybe you can get off your ass and stop makign excuses

[Anonymous]

You're angry that your kids are happier? I hope this is a troll, but if it isn't, this might be part of the problem that led to the divorce. The divorce happened because people were not happy. Now your ex and the kids are happier....time to start working on yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, you said it yourself, it is his NEW wife. At some point along the way when you were "new" you probably treated him better. And being a step mom does not compare to being a mom. Not to knock step moms, I just mean that if there is an involved mom, you can't compare how you are a mom to your kids vs. how the step mom is - she probably has less time with them, probably little if any alone time with them, and they are "new" to her too.

Don't get me wrong, I hope that she remains a great wife and mom, but the comparisons aren't really fair.

OP here - no, they live with them. I get them on weekends. I agreed to it because ex-Dh was always the main caregiver. So she spends a lot more time with them than I do.

Then stop hating. You were a part time mother then and a part time one now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, you said it yourself, it is his NEW wife. At some point along the way when you were "new" you probably treated him better. And being a step mom does not compare to being a mom. Not to knock step moms, I just mean that if there is an involved mom, you can't compare how you are a mom to your kids vs. how the step mom is - she probably has less time with them, probably little if any alone time with them, and they are "new" to her too.

Don't get me wrong, I hope that she remains a great wife and mom, but the comparisons aren't really fair.

OP here - no, they live with them. I get them on weekends. I agreed to it because ex-Dh was always the main caregiver. So she spends a lot more time with them than I do.

Does the ex work husband work?