PSA - Sex abuse at Washington Hebrew

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is all so heart wrenching. Why does this keep happening? Aren't these schools learning anything??

To my knowledge, this has happened at some of the most elite schools in this city: Beauvoir, Sidwell, Charles E Smith, just to name a few. I spoke at length with DJ and the wonderful Susan Sherman about this situation. They told me that they have learned that people who commit these crimes aspire to blend in yet be charismatic. They earn your trust, then abuse it. They look for opportunities, and then use the trust they built to manipulate staff and admin. This could happen anywhere. I am not desensitized, and I am not suggesting that you or anyone else become decensitized, I am just trying to explain why this “keeps happening.” People are sick...and I personally think that they are born that way. No matter how high you build your walls, they will find a way to get through if they so desire. It’s unfortunately what [might] have happened to WHC, but it honestly could have happened anywhere. If this person is in fact guilty, it was just by chance that he targeted WHC. And food for thought, if he taught at schools before WHC, whose to say that he didn’t perpetrate students there as well? Maybe he did and because he didn’t get caught, his confidence grew and so he abused the students at WHC...

Again, all conjecture until the investigation is finished. Perhaps the fact that it has taken so long means that there isn’t substantial evidence. Let’s hope so...

You're delusional. Perps go where their chances are best to abuse. Look at MCPS vs Fairfax. Some heads are quick to report to police, while others are slow.

If we were to accept your theory, why would the perp have assumed WHC would have been slow to report? Again accepting for the moment some of the criticism of DJ as valid, how would a pedophile, trying to find a "safer" environment to prey on kids, know that DJ would be slower to report concerns?

I don’t think it’s an assumption that was made. I think it was opportunistic if it even actually happened. And I don’t think WHC was slow to report. No one knows exactly what the “warning signs” were that previous posters mentioned...maybe they weren’t concerning as they were. It’s only after the fact that one can claim them to be a ‘warning sign.’ As far as we know, as soon as something was reported, we were alerted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree.

As WHC parents, please also come forward to the Detective with any and all thoughts/ concerns over the last couple of years or now.

Nothing is too small to mention. The Detective is easily accessed by email. For the kids.

I suspect they expect fearful more victims to come forward. Hence the waiting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree.

As WHC parents, please also come forward to the Detective with any and all thoughts/ concerns over the last couple of years or now.

Nothing is too small to mention. The Detective is easily accessed by email. For the kids.

I suspect they expect fearful more victims to come forward. Hence the waiting.

If this is true, they and we all may be disappointed. Victims who are 3-2yo and can barely talk, do not really know they have been sexually molested. There were no cameras (not sure why not, people keep talking about glass doors but we are in a technologically advanced era) so it will be the word of a bunch of two years olds against an adult. Presumption of innocence is hard to beat w no forensic evidence and no witnesses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is all so heart wrenching. Why does this keep happening? Aren't these schools learning anything??

To my knowledge, this has happened at some of the most elite schools in this city: Beauvoir, Sidwell, Charles E Smith, just to name a few. I spoke at length with DJ and the wonderful Susan Sherman about this situation. They told me that they have learned that people who commit these crimes aspire to blend in yet be charismatic. They earn your trust, then abuse it. They look for opportunities, and then use the trust they built to manipulate staff and admin. This could happen anywhere. I am not desensitized, and I am not suggesting that you or anyone else become decensitized, I am just trying to explain why this “keeps happening.” People are sick...and I personally think that they are born that way. No matter how high you build your walls, they will find a way to get through if they so desire. It’s unfortunately what [might] have happened to WHC, but it honestly could have happened anywhere. If this person is in fact guilty, it was just by chance that he targeted WHC. And food for thought, if he taught at schools before WHC, whose to say that he didn’t perpetrate students there as well? Maybe he did and because he didn’t get caught, his confidence grew and so he abused the students at WHC...

Again, all conjecture until the investigation is finished. Perhaps the fact that it has taken so long means that there isn’t substantial evidence. Let’s hope so...

You're delusional. Perps go where their chances are best to abuse. Look at MCPS vs Fairfax. Some heads are quick to report to police, while others are slow.

If we were to accept your theory, why would the perp have assumed WHC would have been slow to report? Again accepting for the moment some of the criticism of DJ as valid, how would a pedophile, trying to find a "safer" environment to prey on kids, know that DJ would be slower to report concerns?

I don’t think it’s an assumption that was made. I think it was opportunistic if it even actually happened. And I don’t think WHC was slow to report. No one knows exactly what the “warning signs” were that previous posters mentioned...maybe they weren’t concerning as they were. It’s only after the fact that one can claim them to be a ‘warning sign.’ As far as we know, as soon as something was reported, we were alerted.

As far as you know, yes, I believe you! Let me share that potential victims who were in his daily care ALL day long still today do not know what is going on. I would gladly reach out to them if you want to say this, I was told not to. I am sure they will eventually be told. I disagree that waiting is good based on everything I learned in law school but I do not have expertise in these particular issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree.

As WHC parents, please also come forward to the Detective with any and all thoughts/ concerns over the last couple of years or now.

Nothing is too small to mention. The Detective is easily accessed by email. For the kids.

I suspect they expect fearful more victims to come forward. Hence the waiting.

If this is true, they and we all may be disappointed. Victims who are 3-2yo and can barely talk, do not really know they have been sexually molested. There were no cameras (not sure why not, people keep talking about glass doors but we are in a technologically advanced era) so it will be the word of a bunch of two years olds against an adult. Presumption of innocence is hard to beat w no forensic evidence and no witnesses.

PP here - Plus, if potential victims are not even contacted and have no clue what is going on, how are they supposed to get to the bottom of things and come fwd? Anyone reading who has a relevant background can please share an informed opinion?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is all so heart wrenching. Why does this keep happening? Aren't these schools learning anything??

To my knowledge, this has happened at some of the most elite schools in this city: Beauvoir, Sidwell, Charles E Smith, just to name a few. I spoke at length with DJ and the wonderful Susan Sherman about this situation. They told me that they have learned that people who commit these crimes aspire to blend in yet be charismatic. They earn your trust, then abuse it. They look for opportunities, and then use the trust they built to manipulate staff and admin. This could happen anywhere. I am not desensitized, and I am not suggesting that you or anyone else become decensitized, I am just trying to explain why this “keeps happening.” People are sick...and I personally think that they are born that way. No matter how high you build your walls, they will find a way to get through if they so desire. It’s unfortunately what [might] have happened to WHC, but it honestly could have happened anywhere. If this person is in fact guilty, it was just by chance that he targeted WHC. And food for thought, if he taught at schools before WHC, whose to say that he didn’t perpetrate students there as well? Maybe he did and because he didn’t get caught, his confidence grew and so he abused the students at WHC...

Again, all conjecture until the investigation is finished. Perhaps the fact that it has taken so long means that there isn’t substantial evidence. Let’s hope so...

The wonderful Susan Sherman thinks everyone is wonderful. It is easy for those closest to him to justify missing or dismissing important clues with this theory that he was charming (oh yes he was!) and he gained our trust (certainly that of a few people) and we all liked him (actually not correct, some colleagues and parents complained about him). Perhaps no flag said ‘child abuser’ but when it your job to protect the kids against small and big incidents alike, you perhaps did not do your job very well in this case. This includes the teachers who worked w him every day, management, etc. And going fwd perhaps mandatory training on these issues can help. I agree with the person who said no fence will be tall enough for these people to jump over - yes, but there is a lot that can be done.

[Anonymous]

Has anyone here seen the New Yorker article about these evil criminals?

[Anonymous]

What SPECIFICALLY were these “clues” that you say were missed? Without any specificity, it’s hard to gauge whether they were in fact missed clues or whether the school was acting appropriately in not taking action on them. Why is it that not a single person will be specific here?

[Anonymous]

The teachers are scared to speak up and share what they know (both about how the school is run and about which kids were most likely targets). The temple needs to make it clear to the teachers that they should not be afraid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What SPECIFICALLY were these “clues” that you say were missed? Without any specificity, it’s hard to gauge whether they were in fact missed clues or whether the school was acting appropriately in not taking action on them. Why is it that not a single person will be specific here?

Does it really matter though? There's more than one person saying they told DJ something the teacher did that was inappropriate and I've seen at least one post (maybe more) saying they know people told DJ they weren't comfortable with this teacher changing their child's diapers. Even if it was something fairly mild each time how many times do you think the school should be told a teacher did something even borderline inappropriate before the school takes it seriously? One time maybe the school can brush it off and say it was innocent but my personal feeling is if you hear something twice (from different people), you take it seriously but the school did not. I'm not sure how far beyond DJ it went but someone should be responsible for ignoring more than 1 complaint about teacher. Some people on here are trying to blame the parents (way to blame the victims) by saying they should have reported it to the police but you don't know what it was that happened and it sounds like until very recently the parents may not have known more than one person even had a complaint. Maybe they thought it was an isolated incident and if the school brushed it off and defended the teacher and said they knew him for a long time and know he didn't mean anything bad by his actions maybe you'd choose to believe the school. My issue is that if the school administrators are the only ones who knew how many times parents had complained about this teacher it was their duty to investigate it and take it seriously. Not repeatedly blow off the parents until something worse happened.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What SPECIFICALLY were these “clues” that you say were missed? Without any specificity, it’s hard to gauge whether they were in fact missed clues or whether the school was acting appropriately in not taking action on them. Why is it that not a single person will be specific here?

Because it’s a small community and providing such detail would spread information about my family in a public forum. I’m sure other families feel similarly. These horrible experiences aren’t things people are comfortable shouting far and wide. Surely you can understand a desire for privacy in circumstances such as these.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What SPECIFICALLY were these “clues” that you say were missed? Without any specificity, it’s hard to gauge whether they were in fact missed clues or whether the school was acting appropriately in not taking action on them. Why is it that not a single person will be specific here?

Does it really matter though? There's more than one person saying they told DJ something the teacher did that was inappropriate and I've seen at least one post (maybe more) saying they know people told DJ they weren't comfortable with this teacher changing their child's diapers. Even if it was something fairly mild each time how many times do you think the school should be told a teacher did something even borderline inappropriate before the school takes it seriously? One time maybe the school can brush it off and say it was innocent but my personal feeling is if you hear something twice (from different people), you take it seriously but the school did not. I'm not sure how far beyond DJ it went but someone should be responsible for ignoring more than 1 complaint about teacher. Some people on here are trying to blame the parents (way to blame the victims) by saying they should have reported it to the police but you don't know what it was that happened and it sounds like until very recently the parents may not have known more than one person even had a complaint. Maybe they thought it was an isolated incident and if the school brushed it off and defended the teacher and said they knew him for a long time and know he didn't mean anything bad by his actions maybe you'd choose to believe the school. My issue is that if the school administrators are the only ones who knew how many times parents had complained about this teacher it was their duty to investigate it and take it seriously. Not repeatedly blow off the parents until something worse happened.

And I've also heard that the parent who wasn't comfortable with "this teacher" changing their child's diaper was a dad who wasn't comfortable with ANY male teacher changing his daughter's diaper. Certainly that's not something the school can take too seriously.

[Anonymous]

At this point, I do not feel comfortable with any man changing my daughter’s diapers (current WHC crisis), or sending her to male pediatrician ( Larry Nassar), sending her to synagogue with male religious school directors (Har Shalom, Temple Sinai, etc), or sending her to a disorganized elementary school with male teachers/aides (LAMB). We got an Israeli woman au pair in part because of all of the issues at Jewish preschools (JCC abandons child in park, sex abuse scandals). At some point we will have to trust - but here and now -nope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At this point, I do not feel comfortable with any man changing my daughter’s diapers (current WHC crisis), or sending her to male pediatrician ( Larry Nassar), sending her to synagogue with male religious school directors (Har Shalom, Temple Sinai, etc), or sending her to a disorganized elementary school with male teachers/aides (LAMB). We got an Israeli woman au pair in part because of all of the issues at Jewish preschools (JCC abandons child in park, sex abuse scandals). At some point we will have to trust - but here and now -nope.

I always thought it was creepy for a man to be diapering a baby that wasn't his. Who does that?

[Anonymous]

I belief TEmple Sinai religious school is run by women not men.