Shooting in Reston

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh, wow. That is a terrible burden for her to bear. It is not her fault and, really, she shouldn't try to take responsibility for it but it will be hard for her to not try to do it. I hope she gets some help dealing with all of this.

Yes, my heart goes out to this young woman who came forward to share more. There really wasn't much any of these people could do to prevent this. As crazy as he sounded, there wasn't anything reportable unless he shared an actual plan to kill the parents. Hopefully something she shares will help another family prevent this sort of tragedy-maybe they will read the story and recognize their own kid/friend. Who knows?


Interesting to note the boy had friends there and he shared these views at school so there is the potential other young people may share his views. It sounds like this is the type of school where there are enough adults that they will tune into this. I hope so and I hope the other students get the support they need as they process this. It's a very small school so likely everyone knew eachother.

These kids have enough going on in their lives w/o stigmatizing them and their school. The boy was mentally unstable and he said inappropriate things in class - that seems clear.

]


I have a child with SN myself and I don't see this as stigmatizing the school. There is nothing shameful in putting your child in a more specialized setting. I see the school has some internal work to do if this hatred was spewed inside, but I also pray for every student. If anything this story is opening my eyes more to all that I need to do to help prepare my own child with SN for the real world and I will pay even closer attention to significant others. I truly hope the daughter is able to turn her life on a much better path and have something positive come out of this in terms of her choices for the future. It's a very complicated and heartbreaking situation.

It was the statement that if this guy had friends at this school then maybe those friends also shared his neo nazi views. That.

Thanks for clarifying. I wrote both posts. I think this needs to be explored within the school. Every school has problems and you either sweep them under the rug which makes them worse or you face them head on. There may be kids who need intervention either because they were brainwashed or they did the brainwashing. This can happen at any school regardless of the type of school. There is extreme prejudice lurking in mainstream public and private schools too. Once you know you have a problem it has to be faced. That's what I meant.

[Anonymous]

A school with only 27 teens and 1:3 ratio?

Appears the diagnosis must have been pretty severe, we understand boy was mentally ill, but I wonder what was the daughter's condition to warrant this school?

If both had severe needs, I agree parents should have focussed more on mental stability rather than focus on the Nazi obsession.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A school with only 27 teens and 1:3 ratio?

Appears the diagnosis must have been pretty severe, we understand boy was mentally ill, but I wonder what was the daughter's condition to warrant this school?

If both had severe needs, I agree parents should have focussed more on mental stability rather than focus on the Nazi obsession.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A school with only 27 teens and 1:3 ratio?

Appears the diagnosis must have been pretty severe, we understand boy was mentally ill, but I wonder what was the daughter's condition to warrant this school?

If both had severe needs, I agree parents should have focussed more on mental stability rather than focus on the Nazi obsession.

+1

The buzzfeed article says that one Buckley’s concerns was how the excessive amount of time her daughter spent on the phone with her boyfriend made her forget her meds, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A school with only 27 teens and 1:3 ratio?

Appears the diagnosis must have been pretty severe, we understand boy was mentally ill, but I wonder what was the daughter's condition to warrant this school?

If both had severe needs, I agree parents should have focussed more on mental stability rather than focus on the Nazi obsession.

+1

The buzzfeed article says that one Buckley’s concerns was how the excessive amount of time her daughter spent on the phone with her boyfriend made her forget her meds, etc.

Quoted PP here. Right, even if this boy was a liberal who loved Jews, he was still bad news. So the Nazi aspect was a red herring.

I also feel the matter should have been discussed privately between school and both sets of parents without involving unrelated friends like the 18 year old in the article or emailing the contents around. Regular discipline methods like curfew, social shaming and grounding probably did not work here.

Both sets of parents likely underestimated the criticality of the situation. It is a no win situation overall.

I would be very interested in knowing how he got the gun, since given that anything could have set off this boy, not having the gun seems to be the only way to have avoided this tragedy.

[Anonymous]

This is really horrible, but I have to say the Buzzfeed article about the mother texting the daughter’s friends, emailing the school, staging an intervention, etc. really made me think about better ways to handle an issue like that. Obviously these parents were very unlucky that their daughter happened to be dating a total psycho. Most crap boyfriends aren’t homicidal monsters. But this does make you think about how to interact with teenagers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A school with only 27 teens and 1:3 ratio?

Appears the diagnosis must have been pretty severe, we understand boy was mentally ill, but I wonder what was the daughter's condition to warrant this school?

If both had severe needs, I agree parents should have focussed more on mental stability rather than focus on the Nazi obsession.

+1

The buzzfeed article says that one Buckley’s concerns was how the excessive amount of time her daughter spent on the phone with her boyfriend made her forget her meds, etc.

Quoted PP here. Right, even if this boy was a liberal who loved Jews, he was still bad news. So the Nazi aspect was a red herring.

I also feel the matter should have been discussed privately between school and both sets of parents without involving unrelated friends like the 18 year old in the article or emailing the contents around. Regular discipline methods like curfew, social shaming and grounding probably did not work here.

Both sets of parents likely underestimated the criticality of the situation. It is a no win situation overall.

I would be very interested in knowing how he got the gun, since given that anything could have set off this boy, not having the gun seems to be the only way to have avoided this tragedy.

He didn't need a gun to get into that house. If it hadn't have been a gun it could have been a baseball bat, a knife, a brick or God only knows what else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is really horrible, but I have to say the Buzzfeed article about the mother texting the daughter’s friends, emailing the school, staging an intervention, etc. really made me think about better ways to handle an issue like that. Obviously these parents were very unlucky that their daughter happened to be dating a total psycho. Most crap boyfriends aren’t homicidal monsters. But this does make you think about how to interact with teenagers.

What would you suggest? The child was a minor and under their control and it was their house. Do they not have the right to kick someone out of their house after already telling them not to come back without expecting them to turn a gun on them? Where were the Lorton parents in all of this? Sneaking out at night multiple, multiple times to the Reston home, access to a gun, swastika in the HOA common space, twitter feed with hate speech. Why did those parents spend so much time and money toward this private school but had no idea any of these things were happening with their son? I don't believe they had nothing to do with this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is really horrible, but I have to say the Buzzfeed article about the mother texting the daughter’s friends, emailing the school, staging an intervention, etc. really made me think about better ways to handle an issue like that. Obviously these parents were very unlucky that their daughter happened to be dating a total psycho. Most crap boyfriends aren’t homicidal monsters. But this does make you think about how to interact with teenagers.

What would you suggest? The child was a minor and under their control and it was their house. Do they not have the right to kick someone out of their house after already telling them not to come back without expecting them to turn a gun on them? Where were the Lorton parents in all of this? Sneaking out at night multiple, multiple times to the Reston home, access to a gun, swastika in the HOA common space, twitter feed with hate speech. Why did those parents spend so much time and money toward this private school but had no idea any of these things were happening with their son? I don't believe they had nothing to do with this.

Oh and they did know about the swastika, but said they were handling it. Obviously not very well. They probably got something from the school as well. I hope they are charged as well for some part of this crime, specifically because they knew their son had behavioral problems by putting him at that school. If it turns out they also did all they could and still the son did this, they shouldn't be blamed, but it doesn't seem like it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is really horrible, but I have to say the Buzzfeed article about the mother texting the daughter’s friends, emailing the school, staging an intervention, etc. really made me think about better ways to handle an issue like that. Obviously these parents were very unlucky that their daughter happened to be dating a total psycho. Most crap boyfriends aren’t homicidal monsters. But this does make you think about how to interact with teenagers.

What would you suggest? The child was a minor and under their control and it was their house. Do they not have the right to kick someone out of their house after already telling them not to come back without expecting them to turn a gun on them? Where were the Lorton parents in all of this? Sneaking out at night multiple, multiple times to the Reston home, access to a gun, swastika in the HOA common space, twitter feed with hate speech. Why did those parents spend so much time and money toward this private school but had no idea any of these things were happening with their son? I don't believe they had nothing to do with this.

They probably didn’t pay for the school. FCPS has programs that can support kids with emotional and behavioral problems, but when there are severe mental health issues, the county contracts out with private schools who are more equipped to help these kids. The county assumes the cost of the private school as well as transportation for the student when there is an IEP with documented emotional and mental health concerns. Emotional/mental health disabilities fall under IDEA which is a federal law.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Today’s print copy of the Washington Post has an obituary (the paid kind, not the staff written sort) for Scott Fricker but not Buckley. His name is the one listed in bold, and hers is not listed at all except noting that her life was also cut short and the upcoming memorial service is for them both. Biographical details are only of Scott, and it referekcesnwishes of the Fricker family. It seems very sad the two families could not come together and do a joint obituary.

Sounds like his family is blaming the stepdaughter

Where are you people getting this nonsense? His obituary was published today and references "his loving wife, Buckley" as well as him being a "caring step-father" to both of Buckley's older children. Buckley's obituary will be in tomorrow's paper (it's already available online) and references "her beloved husband." Ey are having a joint memorial service.

There is nothing strange about having separate obituaries for spouses who die together, naturally each of their parents wants to memorialize their child in a way that is particular to that individual. Please stop fantasizing more ugliness about this tragedy than already exists.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The buzzfeed article is heartbreaking. It seems like the mother was trying everything she could think of.
https://www.buzzfeed.com/tasneemnashrulla/texts-from-mom-shot-dead-after-confronting-boyfriend?utm_term=.avnxwlgB7#.nv7jb6LEV

Yikes. I have an even worse impression of the mother now than I did before after reading the BuzzFeed article. What was she thinking using that type of inflammatory language with another young teen? Especially as the young girl also is a student at the school, which is a therapeutic and educational school for children with emotional and behavioral problems. It shows extremely poor judgement on the mom's part. Wow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The buzzfeed article is heartbreaking. It seems like the mother was trying everything she could think of.
https://www.buzzfeed.com/tasneemnashrulla/texts-from-mom-shot-dead-after-confronting-boyfriend?utm_term=.avnxwlgB7#.nv7jb6LEV

Yikes. I have an even worse impression of the mother now than I did before after reading the BuzzFeed article. What was she thinking using that type of inflammatory language with another young teen? Especially as the young girl also is a student at the school, which is a therapeutic and educational school for children with emotional and behavioral problems. It shows extremely poor judgement on the mom's part. Wow.

All of you sitting in judgment of these families and the actions they did or did not take are almost as bad as the shooter. You are sitting in your high horse with very, very little information judging and speculating and entertaining yourselves with your all-knowing superiority. You have not walked a mile in their shoes so you need to cut the judgment. You might not have killed them physically as the kid did, but in the aftermath you are assassinating their characters, especially the mom. You should be very, very, very ashamed of yourselves. Find your humanity and just shut up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The buzzfeed article is heartbreaking. It seems like the mother was trying everything she could think of.
https://www.buzzfeed.com/tasneemnashrulla/texts-from-mom-shot-dead-after-confronting-boyfriend?utm_term=.avnxwlgB7#.nv7jb6LEV

Yikes. I have an even worse impression of the mother now than I did before after reading the BuzzFeed article. What was she thinking using that type of inflammatory language with another young teen? Especially as the young girl also is a student at the school, which is a therapeutic and educational school for children with emotional and behavioral problems. It shows extremely poor judgement on the mom's part. Wow.

All of you sitting in judgment of these families and the actions they did or did not take are almost as bad as the shooter. You are sitting in your high horse with very, very little information judging and speculating and entertaining yourselves with your all-knowing superiority. You have not walked a mile in their shoes so you need to cut the judgment. You might not have killed them physically as the kid did, but in the aftermath you are assassinating their characters, especially the mom. You should be very, very, very ashamed of yourselves. Find your humanity and just shut up.

They lost their humanity when they decided to endorse neo-nazis. People who share the shooter's views think the parents got what they deserved for condemning those views.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The buzzfeed article is heartbreaking. It seems like the mother was trying everything she could think of.
https://www.buzzfeed.com/tasneemnashrulla/texts-from-mom-shot-dead-after-confronting-boyfriend?utm_term=.avnxwlgB7#.nv7jb6LEV

Yikes. I have an even worse impression of the mother now than I did before after reading the BuzzFeed article. What was she thinking using that type of inflammatory language with another young teen? Especially as the young girl also is a student at the school, which is a therapeutic and educational school for children with emotional and behavioral problems. It shows extremely poor judgement on the mom's part. Wow.

All of you sitting in judgment of these families and the actions they did or did not take are almost as bad as the shooter. You are sitting in your high horse with very, very little information judging and speculating and entertaining yourselves with your all-knowing superiority. You have not walked a mile in their shoes so you need to cut the judgment. You might not have killed them physically as the kid did, but in the aftermath you are assassinating their characters, especially the mom. You should be very, very, very ashamed of yourselves. Find your humanity and just shut up.

Oh, baloney. If my child had received texts like the ones identified from some kid's mom, and my child was at a school serving children with emotional and behavioral difficulties, I would have been livid. She stepped totally over the line in her vigilante mode. How dare she drag in other emotionally or behaviorally needy children??? Totally reprehensible.