Ask me anything: I am a kept woman

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - forget the slamming posts. I've got a couple I'm sincerely interested in:

1. Does your guy pay for your apartment? How does that work - does he write you a check or send it directly to the apt. complex?

2. When he bought you your car, did he go with you to the dealership? Did he act like you're buying it (you know, so you wouldn't by a Ferrari or something like that) and then when you picked it out he said, I'll get this. Again - how were the logistics - did he pay the dealership directly? is it a loan with monthly payments that he pays for?

3. Does his wife know you? If so, how?

4. When you go out, do you have to be discreet? (sit in back corner or restaurant, go to out-of-the way places, etc.) or is he not too worried about being seen?

Thanks!

1. At first he wrote me a check each month and then I paid rent. Now he gives me a year's worth of rent at once.
2. He paid for the car in cash. I knew he was going to buy it for me because we'd talked about it a few times, though I hadn't known he'd pay all at once.
3. No she doesn't know me.
4. We don't go to the pizza joint five minutes from his house. And I know he made sure to never set me up at the same spa or gym his wife goes to.

If the car is on your name, did you pay a gift tax?

I was wondering the same thing. Big lump sum cash gift for a year's rent, a car....

+1. We must be accounting nerds.

No. An accounting nerd would understand that recipients of large gifts do not pay gift tax.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So.. you're with him for the lifestyle and sex. You don't care that he's sleeping with his wife. You don't even care that he's married. You obviously aren't concerned with how your affair with him may some day affect his children. You aren't in love with him. A pregnancy would simply mean an abortion. An STD = antibiotics.

What if you end up with AIDS?
How would you react to his wife confronting you and telling you to leave her husband alone? You're not in love with him and are quite sure you could support yourself so would you leave him alone?
What would it take for you to leave him?

There's no reason my relationship has to affect his children. I'm certainly not going to tell them, and neither is he. It's really up to he and I if we continue our relationship. His wife doesn't know me. She's not going to confront me. I don't think they're having sex. I do think she knows he's with someone and looks the other way because it means he doesn't bother her for the sex she won't give him. I'd leave him if this wasn't working for us.

OK, so go out on a limb. Somehow or another, he gets found out. It happens.

Define "not working for us." What would have to change or what would happen to make it not work anymore?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Repeating this because it has not yet been answered:

OP, he gives you a lump sum of $33k each year for rent: What form does the money come in? Personal check? Bank transfer? Cash?

Who cares? It's going to be a check, he was writing her checks before. So what?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So.. you're with him for the lifestyle and sex. You don't care that he's sleeping with his wife. You don't even care that he's married. You obviously aren't concerned with how your affair with him may some day affect his children. You aren't in love with him. A pregnancy would simply mean an abortion. An STD = antibiotics.

What if you end up with AIDS?
How would you react to his wife confronting you and telling you to leave her husband alone? You're not in love with him and are quite sure you could support yourself so would you leave him alone?
What would it take for you to leave him?

There's no reason my relationship has to affect his children. I'm certainly not going to tell them, and neither is he. It's really up to he and I if we continue our relationship. His wife doesn't know me. She's not going to confront me. I don't think they're having sex. I do think she knows he's with someone and looks the other way because it means he doesn't bother her for the sex she won't give him. I'd leave him if this wasn't working for us.

OK, so go out on a limb. Somehow or another, he gets found out. It happens.

Define "not working for us." What would have to change or what would happen to make it not work anymore?

I don't know, really. I guess just ... wanting different things.

[Anonymous]

Another day, another hooker. Yawn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So.. you're with him for the lifestyle and sex. You don't care that he's sleeping with his wife. You don't even care that he's married. You obviously aren't concerned with how your affair with him may some day affect his children. You aren't in love with him. A pregnancy would simply mean an abortion. An STD = antibiotics.

What if you end up with AIDS?
How would you react to his wife confronting you and telling you to leave her husband alone? You're not in love with him and are quite sure you could support yourself so would you leave him alone?
What would it take for you to leave him?

There's no reason my relationship has to affect his children. I'm certainly not going to tell them, and neither is he. It's really up to he and I if we continue our relationship. His wife doesn't know me. She's not going to confront me. I don't think they're having sex. I do think she knows he's with someone and looks the other way because it means he doesn't bother her for the sex she won't give him. I'd leave him if this wasn't working for us.

I'm sorry, but you are wrong. Time he spends with you is time he is NOT spending with his kids. If you think that doesn't matter, you're wrong.

[Anonymous]

Is your TT manual transmission or automatic?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So.. you're with him for the lifestyle and sex. You don't care that he's sleeping with his wife. You don't even care that he's married. You obviously aren't concerned with how your affair with him may some day affect his children. You aren't in love with him. A pregnancy would simply mean an abortion. An STD = antibiotics.

What if you end up with AIDS?
How would you react to his wife confronting you and telling you to leave her husband alone? You're not in love with him and are quite sure you could support yourself so would you leave him alone?
What would it take for you to leave him?

There's no reason my relationship has to affect his children. I'm certainly not going to tell them, and neither is he. It's really up to he and I if we continue our relationship. His wife doesn't know me. She's not going to confront me. I don't think they're having sex. I do think she knows he's with someone and looks the other way because it means he doesn't bother her for the sex she won't give him. I'd leave him if this wasn't working for us.

I'm sorry, but you are wrong. Time he spends with you is time he is NOT spending with his kids. If you think that doesn't matter, you're wrong.

The point isn't whether OP thinks it matters, it's whether HE does. And clearly he does not. OP doesn't bear the burden of his poor parenting choices. It is insane the things so many of you pin on the other woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So.. you're with him for the lifestyle and sex. You don't care that he's sleeping with his wife. You don't even care that he's married. You obviously aren't concerned with how your affair with him may some day affect his children. You aren't in love with him. A pregnancy would simply mean an abortion. An STD = antibiotics.

What if you end up with AIDS?
How would you react to his wife confronting you and telling you to leave her husband alone? You're not in love with him and are quite sure you could support yourself so would you leave him alone?
What would it take for you to leave him?

There's no reason my relationship has to affect his children. I'm certainly not going to tell them, and neither is he. It's really up to he and I if we continue our relationship. His wife doesn't know me. She's not going to confront me. I don't think they're having sex. I do think she knows he's with someone and looks the other way because it means he doesn't bother her for the sex she won't give him. I'd leave him if this wasn't working for us.

I'm sorry, but you are wrong. Time he spends with you is time he is NOT spending with his kids. If you think that doesn't matter, you're wrong.

The point isn't whether OP thinks it matters, it's whether HE does. And clearly he does not. OP doesn't bear the burden of his poor parenting choices. It is insane the things so many of you pin on the other woman.

No one's saying it's solely her responsibility. But she is participating and she doesn't seem to care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So.. you're with him for the lifestyle and sex. You don't care that he's sleeping with his wife. You don't even care that he's married. You obviously aren't concerned with how your affair with him may some day affect his children. You aren't in love with him. A pregnancy would simply mean an abortion. An STD = antibiotics.

What if you end up with AIDS?
How would you react to his wife confronting you and telling you to leave her husband alone? You're not in love with him and are quite sure you could support yourself so would you leave him alone?
What would it take for you to leave him?

There's no reason my relationship has to affect his children. I'm certainly not going to tell them, and neither is he. It's really up to he and I if we continue our relationship. His wife doesn't know me. She's not going to confront me. I don't think they're having sex. I do think she knows he's with someone and looks the other way because it means he doesn't bother her for the sex she won't give him. I'd leave him if this wasn't working for us.

I'm sorry, but you are wrong. Time he spends with you is time he is NOT spending with his kids. If you think that doesn't matter, you're wrong.

The point isn't whether OP thinks it matters, it's whether HE does. And clearly he does not. OP doesn't bear the burden of his poor parenting choices. It is insane the things so many of you pin on the other woman.

No one's saying it's solely her responsibility. But she is participating and she doesn't seem to care.

I completely agree with the PP who said that time he spends with her is time he doesn't spend with his kids, and that that matters a lot. But I don't necessarily think it's that the OP doesn't care; it's that she doesn't know and can't understand because she doesn't have children. The impact on this man's kids may be huge, and that's really their father's fault and not OP's... but if the OP does ever someday have children, she will look back on this situation and wonder how that father could have prioritized her over his children. I would hope, at least.

[Anonymous]

I have known several women who slept with or dated married men. Every one of them expects to have a faithful spouse one day. They really don't see the irony.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is your TT manual transmission or automatic?

6-speed auto.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you realize you have low self-esteem?

Care to answer this? Or is it too close to home?

The big question is why you don't want more for yourself. And I don't mean in the material sense.

And again, not answering this. I think you know this is the issue, right?

NP here. PP, Assuming you are an adult woman in a long term relationship, why do you post again and again trying to shame/humiliate OP? I am a married woman with kids, but this thread done not bother me much. Why does it bother you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So.. you're with him for the lifestyle and sex. You don't care that he's sleeping with his wife. You don't even care that he's married. You obviously aren't concerned with how your affair with him may some day affect his children. You aren't in love with him. A pregnancy would simply mean an abortion. An STD = antibiotics.

What if you end up with AIDS?
How would you react to his wife confronting you and telling you to leave her husband alone? You're not in love with him and are quite sure you could support yourself so would you leave him alone?
What would it take for you to leave him?

There's no reason my relationship has to affect his children. I'm certainly not going to tell them, and neither is he. It's really up to he and I if we continue our relationship. His wife doesn't know me. She's not going to confront me. I don't think they're having sex. I do think she knows he's with someone and looks the other way because it means he doesn't bother her for the sex she won't give him. I'd leave him if this wasn't working for us.

I'm sorry, but you are wrong. Time he spends with you is time he is NOT spending with his kids. If you think that doesn't matter, you're wrong.

Obviously, kids are not his priority and it does not have anything to do with OP. If not her, there would be something else keeping him away from his children.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm curious.

How do you view his family. Are they not important... they just don't affect you?

Have you ever had a relationship with someone who was completely available to you?

I ask because I have a friend who has only ever gone out with (and married) guys who were already with someone.