Lessons learned: 2025-2026

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Following a variety of college admissions pages and reading this thread helped us a lot. Could not afford private counselor. Kids attended a NOVA low ranked HS.

Kid 1: accepted to UVA. Loves it there!
Kid 2: accepted to 6 out of 8 colleges. Commited to least prestigious because it is a great fit, tuition is doable, and excellent program for their major. Happy with their choice!

Meanwhile, one of their friends, who is off the charts smart, 4 year varsity athlete, volunteers, is getting shut out of their top choices. Parents are grads of of top 20 school, but are not on social media, and as far as I know, did not hire a private counselor. I don’t think the kid had enough guidance along the way. Maybe they assumed their kid’s stats would be enough.

Did the smart friend get into UVA at least?

Yes, in at UVA, but they don’t think they will like the Wahoowa vibe. They are not the “party hard work hard” type of kid. I tell the parent that there are all kinds of kids there, but it is hard to convince them.

My kid is a "work hard - work hard" kind of kid and surprised the family by picking UVA over an ivy and other higher ranked choices. He is very happy - And saved so much money for graduate school!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sibling legacy (sibling currently enrolled) does not matter ant certain Ivies even when sib applying has identical very high stats, just as great ECs, essays and recs, etc.

Everyone, including counselors and current student’s friends with their own sibs at their school, told us it would help (like twins). A bit shocked since at least got on WL at Stanford, Harvard and Princeton so application was apparently very strong. Baffled

Sorry, that's tough. But I think you were misled. Sibling legacy is at best a tiebreaker because it is a yield indicator. It really doesn't give a bump of any kind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Following a variety of college admissions pages and reading this thread helped us a lot. Could not afford private counselor. Kids attended a NOVA low ranked HS.

Kid 1: accepted to UVA. Loves it there!
Kid 2: accepted to 6 out of 8 colleges. Commited to least prestigious because it is a great fit, tuition is doable, and excellent program for their major. Happy with their choice!

Meanwhile, one of their friends, who is off the charts smart, 4 year varsity athlete, volunteers, is getting shut out of their top choices. Parents are grads of of top 20 school, but are not on social media, and as far as I know, did not hire a private counselor. I don’t think the kid had enough guidance along the way. Maybe they assumed their kid’s stats would be enough.

Did the smart friend get into UVA at least?

Yes, in at UVA, but they don’t think they will like the Wahoowa vibe. They are not the “party hard work hard” type of kid. I tell the parent that there are all kinds of kids there, but it is hard to convince them.

That’s a great outcome. Save lots of $$$ too. Nothing to complain, tbh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Following a variety of college admissions pages and reading this thread helped us a lot. Could not afford private counselor. Kids attended a NOVA low ranked HS.

Kid 1: accepted to UVA. Loves it there!
Kid 2: accepted to 6 out of 8 colleges. Commited to least prestigious because it is a great fit, tuition is doable, and excellent program for their major. Happy with their choice!

Meanwhile, one of their friends, who is off the charts smart, 4 year varsity athlete, volunteers, is getting shut out of their top choices. Parents are grads of of top 20 school, but are not on social media, and as far as I know, did not hire a private counselor. I don’t think the kid had enough guidance along the way. Maybe they assumed their kid’s stats would be enough.

What type of advice here was valuable?

1. Wait and ask for more merit money before signing the check.
2. Pay to play camps do not move the needle
3. Do not pay attention to what peers are doing.
4. Mission trips show that you are probably wealthy
5. Better to be the big fish in the small pond in high school, and possibly in college as well.
6. Naviance shows gpa at end of high school. Kids are applying junior year, and most likely have lower GPAs. Do not be afraid to apply to that school that mostly accepts kids with 4.4 gpa, when your kid has a 4.2
7. Do not eliminate schools because the dorms are crappy. Most students only live in them for one year. Same with food.
8. Do not cross out schools because the tour was bad. Maybe you just had a bad guide.
9. Be clear with your kid about how much you are able to spend on tuition. Do not let them get their hopes up.
10. A basic regular job goes a long way, and can move the needle. Think restaurant, lifeguard, camp counselor, landscaping, babysitting. Family responsibilities also look good. ,
11. Essays should not be a list of all accomplishments or about sports injury or death in the family. Think of a challenge they had, and how they overcame it. Getting out of their safety bubble. Show vulnerability.
12. Do not poo poo schools that have high acceptance rates.
13. Contact regional admissions officers to show demonstrated interest.
14. Follow college social media admissions pages
15. Be excited for all acceptances your kid gets, and be supportive when they get waitlisted or declined. Remind them that sometimes the schools have certain priorities, and there was nothing they could do about it.

Just a few things I’ve learned on this forum. There are probably more, but that was all I could come up with now. Please be kind

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sibling legacy (sibling currently enrolled) does not matter ant certain Ivies even when sib applying has identical very high stats, just as great ECs, essays and recs, etc.

Everyone, including counselors and current student’s friends with their own sibs at their school, told us it would help (like twins). A bit shocked since at least got on WL at Stanford, Harvard and Princeton so application was apparently very strong. Baffled

Sorry, that's tough. But I think you were misled. Sibling legacy is at best a tiebreaker because it is a yield indicator. It really doesn't give a bump of any kind.

Yeah. It’s strange because my kid has so many friends with sibs there. We were basically told, apply ED to signal first choice and with those stats and sib- it’s usually very strong at school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sibling legacy (sibling currently enrolled) does not matter ant certain Ivies even when sib applying has identical very high stats, just as great ECs, essays and recs, etc.

Everyone, including counselors and current student’s friends with their own sibs at their school, told us it would help (like twins). A bit shocked since at least got on WL at Stanford, Harvard and Princeton so application was apparently very strong. Baffled

Sorry, that's tough. But I think you were misled. Sibling legacy is at best a tiebreaker because it is a yield indicator. It really doesn't give a bump of any kind.

Yeah. It’s strange because my kid has so many friends with sibs there. We were basically told, apply ED to signal first choice and with those stats and sib- it’s usually very strong at school.

Look at who else got in from your school and region.
Typically can see the priorities with some digging.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sibling legacy (sibling currently enrolled) does not matter ant certain Ivies even when sib applying has identical very high stats, just as great ECs, essays and recs, etc.

Everyone, including counselors and current student’s friends with their own sibs at their school, told us it would help (like twins). A bit shocked since at least got on WL at Stanford, Harvard and Princeton so application was apparently very strong. Baffled

Sorry, that's tough. But I think you were misled. Sibling legacy is at best a tiebreaker because it is a yield indicator. It really doesn't give a bump of any kind.

Yeah. It’s strange because my kid has so many friends with sibs there. We were basically told, apply ED to signal first choice and with those stats and sib- it’s usually very strong at school.

Look at who else got in from your school and region.
Typically can see the priorities with some digging.

Nobody from our school this year. My older kid’s year had multiple admits (unhooked, 1 athlete).

[Anonymous]

Advice specifically for those applying to T20 schools:

(1) You can not treat these schools as if they're the same. Each T20 school thinks of themselves as a special snowflake - they're in love with what they consider their own unique strengths, values, sense of community, and institutional personality.

They each have a story about what exactly makes them great, and they each expect applicants to do their homework to understand what makes their school special. And then it's up to your kid to find ways to articulate that in their supplemental essays.

So encourage your kid to invest every ounce of energy they possibly can in tailoring their applications and essays to fit each T20 school individually.

Of course, their odds of getting into those schools is VERY low, but their only chance of admittance is to demonstrate to the schools how well they know them and how exactly they will take advantage of their unique resources and contribute to their community in a way that they value.

It's an absolute PITA. Not gonna lie. And it won't make up for low stats or average ECs etc. But, assuming they have all the other qualifications they need for a school, this extra effort will help a lot.

(2) AND again, there are no guarantees that it will work. Absolutley none. The statistics are clear on this. Even the very best, most "perfect" applicant - the kid that everyone who's ever met them thinks of as a superstar who will surely get into X school - is unlikely to get into that school. It's just statistics. And many such kids don't get into any T20s at all.

(3) We've seen A LOT of mis-matches this year in the T20 space. Kids who applied to 6-8 T-20 schools, were rejected by the ones they loved but accepted by one or two they felt meh about. Which is a special kind of weird place to be.

Specifically, we know two kids who are in to each other's dream school but feeling meh about it. Again, it's not the end of the world in any way, of course. These are excellent schools. But it's odd to see who the schools choose . . . .

(4) So encourage your kid to give it their all in the fall - crush those supplemental essays - but then be ready to pivot hard in late March and April, depending on the results.

"Bloom where you're planted" is a very real thing. But it requires kids and families to let go of their previous hopes and dreams in order to make space for new ones.

Good luck. Reaching for a T20 school is NOT for the faint of heart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Advice specifically for those applying to T20 schools:

(1) You can not treat these schools as if they're the same. Each T20 school thinks of themselves as a special snowflake - they're in love with what they consider their own unique strengths, values, sense of community, and institutional personality.

They each have a story about what exactly makes them great, and they each expect applicants to do their homework to understand what makes their school special. And then it's up to your kid to find ways to articulate that in their supplemental essays.

So encourage your kid to invest every ounce of energy they possibly can in tailoring their applications and essays to fit each T20 school individually.

Of course, their odds of getting into those schools is VERY low, but their only chance of admittance is to demonstrate to the schools how well they know them and how exactly they will take advantage of their unique resources and contribute to their community in a way that they value.

It's an absolute PITA. Not gonna lie. And it won't make up for low stats or average ECs etc. But, assuming they have all the other qualifications they need for a school, this extra effort will help a lot.

(2) AND again, there are no guarantees that it will work. Absolutley none. The statistics are clear on this. Even the very best, most "perfect" applicant - the kid that everyone who's ever met them thinks of as a superstar who will surely get into X school - is unlikely to get into that school. It's just statistics. And many such kids don't get into any T20s at all.

(3) We've seen A LOT of mis-matches this year in the T20 space. Kids who applied to 6-8 T-20 schools, were rejected by the ones they loved but accepted by one or two they felt meh about. Which is a special kind of weird place to be.

Specifically, we know two kids who are in to each other's dream school but feeling meh about it. Again, it's not the end of the world in any way, of course. These are excellent schools. But it's odd to see who the schools choose . . . .

(4) So encourage your kid to give it their all in the fall - crush those supplemental essays - but then be ready to pivot hard in late March and April, depending on the results.

"Bloom where you're planted" is a very real thing. But it requires kids and families to let go of their previous hopes and dreams in order to make space for new ones.

Good luck. Reaching for a T20 school is NOT for the faint of heart.

Yes to this! Also, there is no guarantee your kid will be happy in their dream school.

[Anonymous]

Any other lessons especially from those who went through the process for the second time or more ?

[Anonymous]

The 1-15 list above is spot-on! This is our second time through the process, and with D26, we made sure we found safeties earlier in the game. My older kid didn't really do that, and if ED hadn't worked out, it would have been EXTREMELY stressful over his Christmas break, because he got rejected from his likely/target school. My D26 really loved Kalamazoo College, it was one of her first acceptances and stayed in the running until almost the very end, even with much more competitive schools in the mix. I can't tell you what a relief it was to have an early acceptance at a place she really liked and could see herself.

[Anonymous]

The college admissions is really a holistic review process.

There were always 30+ kids applying to any highly selective school, with gpas in a range of top 5% to top 20%. The acceptances do not always go to the highest gpas. Everything else is in play, test score, rigor, recommendation, and ECs. The higher gpa, lower test score, lower rigor kids did not do as well this year. A slightly lower gpa kid (yes top 20%) should not be discouraged from applying to ivies if everything else is strong.

[Anonymous]

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1263011.page

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Any other lessons especially from those who went through the process for the second time or more ?

From our 2nd time around, I'd say stay open-minded and give space for kid 2 to approach it differently from kid 1. My kids are completely different. The only commonality in their college search was neither liked urban schools. #1 wanted big rah-rah schools, didn't want to do many visits, liked VT and so we just focused on finding a few alternatives similar to it in case that didn't work out (fortunately, it did). #2 wanted to do visits and developed a pretty detailed list of preferences. Applied to a lot of schools (LACs) and had no interest in in-state publics but included a couple because we insisted on an in-state safety.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Advice specifically for those applying to T20 schools:

(1) You can not treat these schools as if they're the same. Each T20 school thinks of themselves as a special snowflake - they're in love with what they consider their own unique strengths, values, sense of community, and institutional personality.

They each have a story about what exactly makes them great, and they each expect applicants to do their homework to understand what makes their school special. And then it's up to your kid to find ways to articulate that in their supplemental essays.

So encourage your kid to invest every ounce of energy they possibly can in tailoring their applications and essays to fit each T20 school individually.

Of course, their odds of getting into those schools is VERY low, but their only chance of admittance is to demonstrate to the schools how well they know them and how exactly they will take advantage of their unique resources and contribute to their community in a way that they value.

It's an absolute PITA. Not gonna lie. And it won't make up for low stats or average ECs etc. But, assuming they have all the other qualifications they need for a school, this extra effort will help a lot.

(2) AND again, there are no guarantees that it will work. Absolutley none. The statistics are clear on this. Even the very best, most "perfect" applicant - the kid that everyone who's ever met them thinks of as a superstar who will surely get into X school - is unlikely to get into that school. It's just statistics. And many such kids don't get into any T20s at all.

(3) We've seen A LOT of mis-matches this year in the T20 space. Kids who applied to 6-8 T-20 schools, were rejected by the ones they loved but accepted by one or two they felt meh about. Which is a special kind of weird place to be.

Specifically, we know two kids who are in to each other's dream school but feeling meh about it. Again, it's not the end of the world in any way, of course. These are excellent schools. But it's odd to see who the schools choose . . . .

(4) So encourage your kid to give it their all in the fall - crush those supplemental essays - but then be ready to pivot hard in late March and April, depending on the results.

"Bloom where you're planted" is a very real thing. But it requires kids and families to let go of their previous hopes and dreams in order to make space for new ones.

Good luck. Reaching for a T20 school is NOT for the faint of heart.

I think we learned the opposite lesson which is that it was totally unpredictable which top schools worked out and it seemed to have little to do with knowing anything about the school. The wild last minute no research apps panned out! I will say that the more internally coherent apps did better - where the various parts reinforced the same points. But it was pretty random.

My lesson learned was that college vine seemed wildly optimistic to me but it actually under-predicted my kid’s outcomes.