Lessons learned: 2025-2026

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1) Don't ED to a school that no one at your HS matriculates to.

2) Don't ED to a very small SLAC if a significant number of ED admissions are essentially pre-admitted through pre-reads for recruited athletes. The ED admission rate is very misleading but when you take out athletes (who are essentially pre-admitted at 100% by pre-reads and full coach support) and leave some spaces for institutional priorities (First Gen, Low-income, rural, legacy, donor), there is actually very little space left!

3) If you must ED to a reach, emphasize that it is a very long shot, and DC should keep working on applications with the expectation they will NOT get into ED. That will help them bounceback from a deferral or decline.

4) Do NOT panic and ED2 to a lesser choice just because DC is feeling panic/fear/worry about not getting in admitted to their true 1st choice ED1. Let them work through their disappointment, focus on the colleges in the RD pool and while they are writing essays they will fall back in love with their other options.

5) Your DC is still growing/developing through senior year. Over holiday break, DC thinks they may want a bigger, more urban campus (the opposite of their ED1) and also is rethinking major! While they may have been happy with getting into ED1 and being "done" with the process over holiday break (a true bonus), I suspect in the long run not getting in and having more options to consider over the course of the year will be better for them.

Just know, you won't be getting in Rd, where there's 10-12x the amount of competition and not that many more seats available.

Just stop. You keep saying that on every thread.

My own kid got into 2 Ivies, Hopkins and Pomona RD after getting deferred from Georgetown. Friends similarly did better RD, or were WL and got off WLs RD in May.

Quit trying to scare everyone.

No, I said this on this thread, responding to a comment. More than 1 person can hold an opinion you don't agree with. I love how you casually mention getting into Pomona RD as if your kid didn't also get into 2 ivies-no duh! But if a student is applying Pomona ED and doesn't get acceptance/deferred, good luck getting into Williams or Amherst or Carleton RD.

This is quite off. You don't have the basic understanding of college admissions.
Schools are looking for fit, not just stats. A kid may not be the best fit for one school could be the perfect fit for another.
But in general, ED to a small lac does not provide advantage, as many have pointed out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1) Don't ED to a school that no one at your HS matriculates to.

2) Don't ED to a very small SLAC if a significant number of ED admissions are essentially pre-admitted through pre-reads for recruited athletes. The ED admission rate is very misleading but when you take out athletes (who are essentially pre-admitted at 100% by pre-reads and full coach support) and leave some spaces for institutional priorities (First Gen, Low-income, rural, legacy, donor), there is actually very little space left!

3) If you must ED to a reach, emphasize that it is a very long shot, and DC should keep working on applications with the expectation they will NOT get into ED. That will help them bounceback from a deferral or decline.

4) Do NOT panic and ED2 to a lesser choice just because DC is feeling panic/fear/worry about not getting in admitted to their true 1st choice ED1. Let them work through their disappointment, focus on the colleges in the RD pool and while they are writing essays they will fall back in love with their other options.

5) Your DC is still growing/developing through senior year. Over holiday break, DC thinks they may want a bigger, more urban campus (the opposite of their ED1) and also is rethinking major! While they may have been happy with getting into ED1 and being "done" with the process over holiday break (a true bonus), I suspect in the long run not getting in and having more options to consider over the course of the year will be better for them.

Just know, you won't be getting in Rd, where there's 10-12x the amount of competition and not that many more seats available.

Just stop. You keep saying that on every thread.

My own kid got into 2 Ivies, Hopkins and Pomona RD after getting deferred from Georgetown. Friends similarly did better RD, or were WL and got off WLs RD in May.

Quit trying to scare everyone.

No, I said this on this thread, responding to a comment. More than 1 person can hold an opinion you don't agree with. I love how you casually mention getting into Pomona RD as if your kid didn't also get into 2 ivies-no duh! But if a student is applying Pomona ED and doesn't get acceptance/deferred, good luck getting into Williams or Amherst or Carleton RD.

This is quite off. You don't have the basic understanding of college admissions.
Schools are looking for fit, not just stats. A kid may not be the best fit for one school could be the perfect fit for another.
But in general, ED to a small lac does not provide advantage, as many have pointed out.

What massive fit distance does a student lack at Pomona that they have at Williams?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't listen to your private school counselor's advice. That's the biggest lesson I have learned this year. Do your own research.

100%, applicable every year!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Only ED to truly top choice school that you can easily afford.

Don’t ED2 out of panic. Only do if truly top at that time.

Absolutely do your own research and don’t fully rely on any 3rd party- not your school counselor, not your expensive paid private counselor, not this forum, not your other family member or friends. No one knows your kid as well as you do. No one wants what’s best for them more than you do. Get advice, sure, but don’t rely on anyone.

Jump in and read about the process. It’s different than when you went. No good place to start reading. Just start- here, online, podcasts, books. Some will be a waste of time but unfortunately you’ll have to do that. There’s no super efficient way to do this. Lots of noise out there but you’ll figure out what poles to your kid.

Rankings are stupid. Good for best fit.

Don’t talk about college list with anyone except parents and counselor. Not grandparents or friends at school. No one. It’s too stressful as it is to have others asking you about it. And everyone gives you their negative opinion about the school. It’s like naming a baby- don’t tell anyone til the baby is born - then everyone will love it!
Give kid a phrase to use when people ask -
“I’m still figuring it out” then change the subject.

Rolling and early admits are gold for self-esteem and reducing stress even in super high stats kids. Especially when the merit aid is offered too. Mine had 2 admits before getting into the ED school and I underestimated how
Much those 2 early admits would help their psyche.

No one at school knew where they were applying or where early. One of the few no k e knew anything about

The applications take a lot of time! Every part of it. In retrospect would’ve done a lighter class load senior year because of this.

It’s exhausting for the parents, even if kid is doing it all.

Kid will be emotional during the process. Tears were shed. Had to console kid more than in past several yrs all put together. They really feel their worth is tied up in this.

Make sure you still enjoy HS. HS is life too, not just a preparation for life.

Spot on. Each one of these points. Exhausting for all involved even if you are on the sidelines. Imagine college admissions team who are trying to figure out if your kid will accept (yield) and trying to form their class of incoming freshmen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't listen to your private school counselor's advice. That's the biggest lesson I have learned this year. Do your own research.

Mine is a little different — don’t assume your private school counsel gives a crap about helping your kid get into more than one “good enough” school. They don’t. They want the easy path (hence the ED push) and are not invested in your kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't listen to your private school counselor's advice. That's the biggest lesson I have learned this year. Do your own research.

100%, applicable every year!

Do you think they are not looking out for your kid? Worrying more about the whole class acceptances?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't listen to your private school counselor's advice. That's the biggest lesson I have learned this year. Do your own research.

Mine is a little different — don’t assume your private school counsel gives a crap about helping your kid get into more than one “good enough” school. They don’t. They want the easy path (hence the ED push) and are not invested in your kid.

That should be "assume they don't give a rat's ass about helping your kid get into more than one “good enough” school."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1) Don't ED to a school that no one at your HS matriculates to.

2) Don't ED to a very small SLAC if a significant number of ED admissions are essentially pre-admitted through pre-reads for recruited athletes. The ED admission rate is very misleading but when you take out athletes (who are essentially pre-admitted at 100% by pre-reads and full coach support) and leave some spaces for institutional priorities (First Gen, Low-income, rural, legacy, donor), there is actually very little space left!

3) If you must ED to a reach, emphasize that it is a very long shot, and DC should keep working on applications with the expectation they will NOT get into ED. That will help them bounceback from a deferral or decline.

4) Do NOT panic and ED2 to a lesser choice just because DC is feeling panic/fear/worry about not getting in admitted to their true 1st choice ED1. Let them work through their disappointment, focus on the colleges in the RD pool and while they are writing essays they will fall back in love with their other options.

5) Your DC is still growing/developing through senior year. Over holiday break, DC thinks they may want a bigger, more urban campus (the opposite of their ED1) and also is rethinking major! While they may have been happy with getting into ED1 and being "done" with the process over holiday break (a true bonus), I suspect in the long run not getting in and having more options to consider over the course of the year will be better for them.

Just know, you won't be getting in Rd, where there's 10-12x the amount of competition and not that many more seats available.

Just stop. You keep saying that on every thread.

My own kid got into 2 Ivies, Hopkins and Pomona RD after getting deferred from Georgetown. Friends similarly did better RD, or were WL and got off WLs RD in May.

Quit trying to scare everyone.

No, I said this on this thread, responding to a comment. More than 1 person can hold an opinion you don't agree with. I love how you casually mention getting into Pomona RD as if your kid didn't also get into 2 ivies-no duh! But if a student is applying Pomona ED and doesn't get acceptance/deferred, good luck getting into Williams or Amherst or Carleton RD.

This is quite off. You don't have the basic understanding of college admissions.
Schools are looking for fit, not just stats. A kid may not be the best fit for one school could be the perfect fit for another.
But in general, ED to a small lac does not provide advantage, as many have pointed out.

What massive fit distance does a student lack at Pomona that they have at Williams?

NP
Student fit is in context of the entire applicant pool and students admitted so far. It's not the same set of applicants to every SLAC, therefore results can vary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1) Don't ED to a school that no one at your HS matriculates to.

2) Don't ED to a very small SLAC if a significant number of ED admissions are essentially pre-admitted through pre-reads for recruited athletes. The ED admission rate is very misleading but when you take out athletes (who are essentially pre-admitted at 100% by pre-reads and full coach support) and leave some spaces for institutional priorities (First Gen, Low-income, rural, legacy, donor), there is actually very little space left!

3) If you must ED to a reach, emphasize that it is a very long shot, and DC should keep working on applications with the expectation they will NOT get into ED. That will help them bounceback from a deferral or decline.

4) Do NOT panic and ED2 to a lesser choice just because DC is feeling panic/fear/worry about not getting in admitted to their true 1st choice ED1. Let them work through their disappointment, focus on the colleges in the RD pool and while they are writing essays they will fall back in love with their other options.

5) Your DC is still growing/developing through senior year. Over holiday break, DC thinks they may want a bigger, more urban campus (the opposite of their ED1) and also is rethinking major! While they may have been happy with getting into ED1 and being "done" with the process over holiday break (a true bonus), I suspect in the long run not getting in and having more options to consider over the course of the year will be better for them.

Just know, you won't be getting in Rd, where there's 10-12x the amount of competition and not that many more seats available.

Just stop. You keep saying that on every thread.

My own kid got into 2 Ivies, Hopkins and Pomona RD after getting deferred from Georgetown. Friends similarly did better RD, or were WL and got off WLs RD in May.

Quit trying to scare everyone.

No, I said this on this thread, responding to a comment. More than 1 person can hold an opinion you don't agree with. I love how you casually mention getting into Pomona RD as if your kid didn't also get into 2 ivies-no duh! But if a student is applying Pomona ED and doesn't get acceptance/deferred, good luck getting into Williams or Amherst or Carleton RD.

This is quite off. You don't have the basic understanding of college admissions.
Schools are looking for fit, not just stats. A kid may not be the best fit for one school could be the perfect fit for another.
But in general, ED to a small lac does not provide advantage, as many have pointed out.

What massive fit distinction does a student lack at Pomona that they have at Williams?

NP
Student fit is in context of the entire applicant pool and students admitted so far. It's not the same set of applicants to every SLAC, therefore results can vary.

That didn’t answer the question. What fit distinction does a typical white summer middle class student have that makes Pomona unobtainable but Williams obtainable?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't listen to your private school counselor's advice. That's the biggest lesson I have learned this year. Do your own research.

Mine is a little different — don’t assume your private school counsel gives a crap about helping your kid get into more than one “good enough” school. They don’t. They want the easy path (hence the ED push) and are not invested in your kid.

That should be "assume they don't give a rat's ass about helping your kid get into more than one “good enough” school."

Wow you must be just a peach to be around. They’re counselors not miracle workers.

[Anonymous]

Lesson learned: buy some good tasting coffee for time period between spring junior into spring senior year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have posted it several times.

EA Case Western! The decision came right before the break, it's exactly the news the family needs. Once you have an acceptance, no one is too stressed. DC focused on RD supplementals during the break.

Demonstrated interest is important. Visit in-person.

I’ve also seen this suggestion a few times. But it assumes implicitly that the kids will be happy there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lesson learned: buy some good tasting coffee for time period between spring junior into spring senior year.

Are there bad tasting ones? Who sell them?

[Anonymous]

Don’t listen to everyone that says ‘that school doesn’t give merit” almost didn’t apply to Pitt since they don’t usually give Merit. My OOS kid got $20K a year so it’s close to instate costs for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have posted it several times.

EA Case Western! The decision came right before the break, it's exactly the news the family needs. Once you have an acceptance, no one is too stressed. DC focused on RD supplementals during the break.

Demonstrated interest is important. Visit in-person.

I’ve also seen this suggestion a few times. But it assumes implicitly that the kids will be happy there.

DP. So pick a different early school or schools. Unless your kid is an extreme snowflake or snob there’s at least one accessible school that notifies before Christmas where they can be happy, and it does make a huge difference.