Lessons learned: 2025-2026

[Anonymous]

New year, new thread, same old (or maybe you have new) shit to add to this thread.

[Anonymous]

This was the question from the '24-'25 thread:

For those going through the application process w/DC this school year, what lessons have you learned?
What do you wish you’d done differently? What’s worked out well?

[Anonymous]

1) Don't ED to a school that no one at your HS matriculates to.

2) Don't ED to a very small SLAC if a significant number of ED admissions are essentially pre-admitted through pre-reads for recruited athletes. The ED admission rate is very misleading but when you take out athletes (who are essentially pre-admitted at 100% by pre-reads and full coach support) and leave some spaces for institutional priorities (First Gen, Low-income, rural, legacy, donor), there is actually very little space left!

3) If you must ED to a reach, emphasize that it is a very long shot, and DC should keep working on applications with the expectation they will NOT get into ED. That will help them bounceback from a deferral or decline.

4) Do NOT panic and ED2 to a lesser choice just because DC is feeling panic/fear/worry about not getting in admitted to their true 1st choice ED1. Let them work through their disappointment, focus on the colleges in the RD pool and while they are writing essays they will fall back in love with their other options.

5) Your DC is still growing/developing through senior year. Over holiday break, DC thinks they may want a bigger, more urban campus (the opposite of their ED1) and also is rethinking major! While they may have been happy with getting into ED1 and being "done" with the process over holiday break (a true bonus), I suspect in the long run not getting in and having more options to consider over the course of the year will be better for them.

[Anonymous]

Don't listen to your private school counselor's advice. That's the biggest lesson I have learned this year. Do your own research.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1) Don't ED to a school that no one at your HS matriculates to.

2) Don't ED to a very small SLAC if a significant number of ED admissions are essentially pre-admitted through pre-reads for recruited athletes. The ED admission rate is very misleading but when you take out athletes (who are essentially pre-admitted at 100% by pre-reads and full coach support) and leave some spaces for institutional priorities (First Gen, Low-income, rural, legacy, donor), there is actually very little space left!

3) If you must ED to a reach, emphasize that it is a very long shot, and DC should keep working on applications with the expectation they will NOT get into ED. That will help them bounceback from a deferral or decline.

4) Do NOT panic and ED2 to a lesser choice just because DC is feeling panic/fear/worry about not getting in admitted to their true 1st choice ED1. Let them work through their disappointment, focus on the colleges in the RD pool and while they are writing essays they will fall back in love with their other options.

5) Your DC is still growing/developing through senior year. Over holiday break, DC thinks they may want a bigger, more urban campus (the opposite of their ED1) and also is rethinking major! While they may have been happy with getting into ED1 and being "done" with the process over holiday break (a true bonus), I suspect in the long run not getting in and having more options to consider over the course of the year will be better for them.

Just know, you won't be getting in Rd, where there's 10-12x the amount of competition and not that many more seats available.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1) Don't ED to a school that no one at your HS matriculates to.

2) Don't ED to a very small SLAC if a significant number of ED admissions are essentially pre-admitted through pre-reads for recruited athletes. The ED admission rate is very misleading but when you take out athletes (who are essentially pre-admitted at 100% by pre-reads and full coach support) and leave some spaces for institutional priorities (First Gen, Low-income, rural, legacy, donor), there is actually very little space left!

3) If you must ED to a reach, emphasize that it is a very long shot, and DC should keep working on applications with the expectation they will NOT get into ED. That will help them bounceback from a deferral or decline.

4) Do NOT panic and ED2 to a lesser choice just because DC is feeling panic/fear/worry about not getting in admitted to their true 1st choice ED1. Let them work through their disappointment, focus on the colleges in the RD pool and while they are writing essays they will fall back in love with their other options.

5) Your DC is still growing/developing through senior year. Over holiday break, DC thinks they may want a bigger, more urban campus (the opposite of their ED1) and also is rethinking major! While they may have been happy with getting into ED1 and being "done" with the process over holiday break (a true bonus), I suspect in the long run not getting in and having more options to consider over the course of the year will be better for them.

True about how they change in the 6 months between beginning of summer before senior year to December of senior year when they will either have heard back from ED if they ED, maybe an EA or few and get ready to send off RD applications. Interesting to watch their growth and development.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't listen to your private school counselor's advice. That's the biggest lesson I have learned this year. Do your own research.

If it's not too painful, can you share why?

[Anonymous]

I found it true not to ED a small LAC. Middlebury is the exception. Every unhooked kid ED top LACs (CMC, Pomona, Bowdoin) this year at our school didn't get in.

[Anonymous]

DD EDed to a T10 very expensive school. Was devastated when deferred but then relieved when not only did she get into three very good schools, but they all offered big scholarships, meaning that combined with our called savings, she can graduate debt free. These schools aren't top ten, but are still highly ranked and the idea of graduating without student loans means she'll have a freedom than others might not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1) Don't ED to a school that no one at your HS matriculates to.

2) Don't ED to a very small SLAC if a significant number of ED admissions are essentially pre-admitted through pre-reads for recruited athletes. The ED admission rate is very misleading but when you take out athletes (who are essentially pre-admitted at 100% by pre-reads and full coach support) and leave some spaces for institutional priorities (First Gen, Low-income, rural, legacy, donor), there is actually very little space left!

3) If you must ED to a reach, emphasize that it is a very long shot, and DC should keep working on applications with the expectation they will NOT get into ED. That will help them bounceback from a deferral or decline.

4) Do NOT panic and ED2 to a lesser choice just because DC is feeling panic/fear/worry about not getting in admitted to their true 1st choice ED1. Let them work through their disappointment, focus on the colleges in the RD pool and while they are writing essays they will fall back in love with their other options.

5) Your DC is still growing/developing through senior year. Over holiday break, DC thinks they may want a bigger, more urban campus (the opposite of their ED1) and also is rethinking major! While they may have been happy with getting into ED1 and being "done" with the process over holiday break (a true bonus), I suspect in the long run not getting in and having more options to consider over the course of the year will be better for them.

Just know, you won't be getting in Rd, where there's 10-12x the amount of competition and not that many more seats available.

Just stop. You keep saying that on every thread.

My own kid got into 2 Ivies, Hopkins and Pomona RD after getting deferred from Georgetown. Friends similarly did better RD, or were WL and got off WLs RD in May.

Quit trying to scare everyone.

[Anonymous]

This college forum is the best free entertainment known to man. It is great to read during early morning and late night bathroom trips. The level of insanity, insecurity, hang ringing, anxiety, and trolling is un matched anywhere. The fact so many people are knee shit deep invested in names, places, statistics, results, comparisons, and display two year old melt downs makes it as addictive as nicotine. Keep it coming. Now that David Lynch is gone this forum is a great place to come and peek into the surreal world on man’s insanity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1) Don't ED to a school that no one at your HS matriculates to.

2) Don't ED to a very small SLAC if a significant number of ED admissions are essentially pre-admitted through pre-reads for recruited athletes. The ED admission rate is very misleading but when you take out athletes (who are essentially pre-admitted at 100% by pre-reads and full coach support) and leave some spaces for institutional priorities (First Gen, Low-income, rural, legacy, donor), there is actually very little space left!

3) If you must ED to a reach, emphasize that it is a very long shot, and DC should keep working on applications with the expectation they will NOT get into ED. That will help them bounceback from a deferral or decline.

4) Do NOT panic and ED2 to a lesser choice just because DC is feeling panic/fear/worry about not getting in admitted to their true 1st choice ED1. Let them work through their disappointment, focus on the colleges in the RD pool and while they are writing essays they will fall back in love with their other options.

5) Your DC is still growing/developing through senior year. Over holiday break, DC thinks they may want a bigger, more urban campus (the opposite of their ED1) and also is rethinking major! While they may have been happy with getting into ED1 and being "done" with the process over holiday break (a true bonus), I suspect in the long run not getting in and having more options to consider over the course of the year will be better for them.

Just know, you won't be getting in Rd, where there's 10-12x the amount of competition and not that many more seats available.

Just stop. You keep saying that on every thread.

My own kid got into 2 Ivies, Hopkins and Pomona RD after getting deferred from Georgetown. Friends similarly did better RD, or were WL and got off WLs RD in May.

Quit trying to scare everyone.

No, I said this on this thread, responding to a comment. More than 1 person can hold an opinion you don't agree with. I love how you casually mention getting into Pomona RD as if your kid didn't also get into 2 ivies-no duh! But if a student is applying Pomona ED and doesn't get acceptance/deferred, good luck getting into Williams or Amherst or Carleton RD.

[Anonymous]

I have posted it several times.

EA Case Western! The decision came right before the break, it's exactly the news the family needs. Once you have an acceptance, no one is too stressed. DC focused on RD supplementals during the break.

Demonstrated interest is important. Visit in-person.

[Anonymous]

Only ED to truly top choice school that you can easily afford.

Don’t ED2 out of panic. Only do if truly top at that time.

Absolutely do your own research and don’t fully rely on any 3rd party- not your school counselor, not your expensive paid private counselor, not this forum, not your other family member or friends. No one knows your kid as well as you do. No one wants what’s best for them more than you do. Get advice, sure, but don’t rely on anyone.

Jump in and read about the process. It’s different than when you went. No good place to start reading. Just start- here, online, podcasts, books. Some will be a waste of time but unfortunately you’ll have to do that. There’s no super efficient way to do this. Lots of noise out there but you’ll figure out what poles to your kid.

Rankings are stupid. Good for best fit.

Don’t talk about college list with anyone except parents and counselor. Not grandparents or friends at school. No one. It’s too stressful as it is to have others asking you about it. And everyone gives you their negative opinion about the school. It’s like naming a baby- don’t tell anyone til the baby is born - then everyone will love it!
Give kid a phrase to use when people ask -
“I’m still figuring it out” then change the subject.

Rolling and early admits are gold for self-esteem and reducing stress even in super high stats kids. Especially when the merit aid is offered too. Mine had 2 admits before getting into the ED school and I underestimated how
Much those 2 early admits would help their psyche.

No one at school knew where they were applying or where early. One of the few no k e knew anything about

The applications take a lot of time! Every part of it. In retrospect would’ve done a lighter class load senior year because of this.

It’s exhausting for the parents, even if kid is doing it all.

Kid will be emotional during the process. Tears were shed. Had to console kid more than in past several yrs all put together. They really feel their worth is tied up in this.

Make sure you still enjoy HS. HS is life too, not just a preparation for life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1) Don't ED to a school that no one at your HS matriculates to.

2) Don't ED to a very small SLAC if a significant number of ED admissions are essentially pre-admitted through pre-reads for recruited athletes. The ED admission rate is very misleading but when you take out athletes (who are essentially pre-admitted at 100% by pre-reads and full coach support) and leave some spaces for institutional priorities (First Gen, Low-income, rural, legacy, donor), there is actually very little space left!

3) If you must ED to a reach, emphasize that it is a very long shot, and DC should keep working on applications with the expectation they will NOT get into ED. That will help them bounceback from a deferral or decline.

4) Do NOT panic and ED2 to a lesser choice just because DC is feeling panic/fear/worry about not getting in admitted to their true 1st choice ED1. Let them work through their disappointment, focus on the colleges in the RD pool and while they are writing essays they will fall back in love with their other options.

5) Your DC is still growing/developing through senior year. Over holiday break, DC thinks they may want a bigger, more urban campus (the opposite of their ED1) and also is rethinking major! While they may have been happy with getting into ED1 and being "done" with the process over holiday break (a true bonus), I suspect in the long run not getting in and having more options to consider over the course of the year will be better for them.

Just know, you won't be getting in Rd, where there's 10-12x the amount of competition and not that many more seats available.

Just stop. You keep saying that on every thread.

My own kid got into 2 Ivies, Hopkins and Pomona RD after getting deferred from Georgetown. Friends similarly did better RD, or were WL and got off WLs RD in May.

Quit trying to scare everyone.

No, I said this on this thread, responding to a comment. More than 1 person can hold an opinion you don't agree with. I love how you casually mention getting into Pomona RD as if your kid didn't also get into 2 ivies-no duh! But if a student is applying Pomona ED and doesn't get acceptance/deferred, good luck getting into Williams or Amherst or Carleton RD.

After Georgetown’s deferral, we were worried the app was weak was my point. Early round rejection or deferral doesn’t necessarily mean RD results will be bad.