50/50 split of assets with SAHM

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp here. Husband’s workload and amount he contributes to the childcare and household duties matter greatly. Dh could not put his all in at work if he had to take the sick day hits, go to work late and leave early the way I used to when I worked. DH never took a sick day in his working life for himself or for the kids. He doesn’t stay home if the school has a snow day or 2 hour delay. I took that burden every single time.

Would he have only earned 500k vs $2m if we split child duties? I could have continued to earn 200k to his 500k. When I worked, he may have taken a week off during Xmas and I would have taken a week. He likes having a stay at home wife. He never has to worry about the kids.

The bolded is very sad to me. He cares so little.

This is how I know you don’t have a net worth of $10 million, and neither do your parents or any of your friends.
This is how these men are.

I always found the idea of a man cold bizarre. I don’t know any men who lay around in bed if they are sick. They still go to work.

On the contrary, my friend. On the contrary.

You are just making excuses for a man who doesn’t care about his kids.

It’s not an excuse. It’s just reality. People’s priorities and personalities are consistent across all facets of their life. It just is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So Jeff says the OP sock puppetted this thread heavily and disappeared.

What does that mean?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So Jeff says the OP sock puppetted this thread heavily and disappeared.

What does that mean?

He took his ball and went home

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH would have had to stay a fed if I didn’t take a HUGE step back in my career. There is no way he could have achieved what he wanted with two kids if he had to be responsible for either mornings or evenings with the kids 5x/week (not to mention half of lunches, meals, appointments, sick days, etc.) And our marriage probably wouldn’t have survived the stress either. It works for us. I think we’ll make it, but if we don’t then I don’t see why I should get effed for letting him fly.

Why do you guys have to lie to yourselves?

You do not need to have a stay at home parent to be successful.

There are tons of power couples with children.

He let you stay home, it was great for you, but it’s not the reason he was successful.

LOL, any credibility you had was lost when you said "power couple". Also, why is that an assumed goal? Who wants to live a work-work-work life when you could enjoy your family?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH would have had to stay a fed if I didn’t take a HUGE step back in my career. There is no way he could have achieved what he wanted with two kids if he had to be responsible for either mornings or evenings with the kids 5x/week (not to mention half of lunches, meals, appointments, sick days, etc.) And our marriage probably wouldn’t have survived the stress either. It works for us. I think we’ll make it, but if we don’t then I don’t see why I should get effed for letting him fly.

Why do you guys have to lie to yourselves?

You do not need to have a stay at home parent to be successful.

There are tons of power couples with children.

He let you stay home, it was great for you, but it’s not the reason he was successful.

LOL, any credibility you had was lost when you said "power couple". Also, why is that an assumed goal? Who wants to live a work-work-work life when you could enjoy your family?

It’s not a goal. It is possible. You don’t need a SAHP to be successful.

These SAHM ‘s who think their spouse would not be successful without them is laughable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sitting here 8 mos pregnant with norovirus running through the house with a 4 yr old and 6 yr old (cancelling a planned vacation) and wondering how TF anyone with dual high powered jobs handle this without a sahp? A full time nanny with school age children perhaps? So much vomit. We are wrecked after last night and I’m thankfully not working today but my husband is. Not sure a nanny would want to touch this mess.

They would take sick leave like a normal person.

Lol you think SAHM’s don’t have help.

BTW call a wash and fold place to get the laundry done.

Order groceries and have them delivered.

A cleaning person is $150.

It’s not all that complicated.

I think perhaps it’s so hard because you can’t really mitigate issues when they arrive and you make small issues big.

Your “power H” could take a vacation but not a sick day? SMFH

Yes, 1 person takes sick leave and then you both argue about who has more important things going on at work (although the day after Christmas who has anything important going on?). And not everyone can just take sick leave or even gets a lot of sick leave.

We actually argue about who gets to take sick leave, laying on the couch all day watching kid movies.

Yes everyone gets sick leave it’s the law.

So much privilege speaking in the "everyone gets sick leave" statement.

Not everyone gets sick leave. If you are an individual contractor, hourly worker or are self-employed, you do not get sick leave. In many of those situations, if you do not work, you do not get paid.

In other employment situations, a person may technically get sick leave but if is not permitted to take it to care for someone else (child or elder), or it may be frowned upon to take it to the extent that if is a black mark on your performance either explicitly or implicitly making you an "unreliable" worker.

In addition, some
people have jobs where they really aren't in a position to take sick leave to care for an ill family member - they may be on travel frequently or in a work space that doesn't allow for the kind of contact during the work day that would allow one to respond to sick calls from school.

Everyone gets sick leave. Not everyone gets paid sick leave.

It’s not as complicated as your trying to make it sound, but that probably why you can’t do both.

Oh, if only more people were like you and could spend their time trying to keep white collar criminals out of jail and less people were like pp caring for her sick parents. The whole world could be a hellhole.

I’m not the lawyer. But everyone has the right to a defense. It’s in the constitution.

People who work also care for their sick parents. It’s a wild fake world you’ve created in your head.

There are also SAHM who moved to DC for their husbands job who don’t care for their sick parents.

Read the thread before you comment.

I did. You are twisting yourself in knots to justify your life to strangers.

Look in the mirror and give yourself a high 5, be happy with your life and stop trying to justify it.

Some people can work and do everything you do, some can’t. It’s okay hon.

Really, you are the only one making up crazy stuff trying to justify your life. Everyone else seems perfectly reasonable, even if they disagree.

You keep insisting that you don’t have to make any tradeoffs in life and don’t need any help or support from your spouse because you are, somehow, superhuman and not limited by space and time.
I’m not sure if this is just internet hyperbole or if you are, in fact, delusional.

It’s really not that complicated.

You drop kids at school, go to work, pick them up and do it all over again the next day.

Your making up stories about everyone working 70 hours a week in jobs with no sick leave and no phones for schools to contact parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp here. Husband’s workload and amount he contributes to the childcare and household duties matter greatly. Dh could not put his all in at work if he had to take the sick day hits, go to work late and leave early the way I used to when I worked. DH never took a sick day in his working life for himself or for the kids. He doesn’t stay home if the school has a snow day or 2 hour delay. I took that burden every single time.

Would he have only earned 500k vs $2m if we split child duties? I could have continued to earn 200k to his 500k. When I worked, he may have taken a week off during Xmas and I would have taken a week. He likes having a stay at home wife. He never has to worry about the kids.

The bolded is very sad to me. He cares so little.

This is how I know you don’t have a net worth of $10 million, and neither do your parents or any of your friends.
This is how these men are.

I always found the idea of a man cold bizarre. I don’t know any men who lay around in bed if they are sick. They still go to work.

On the contrary, my friend. On the contrary.

You are just making excuses for a man who doesn’t care about his kids.

It’s not an excuse. It’s just reality. People’s priorities and personalities are consistent across all facets of their life. It just is.

Agree with you, actually. He has made it clear that being a caring person is not a priority for him. He doesn’t care for his kids, and that’s true across the board.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp here. Husband’s workload and amount he contributes to the childcare and household duties matter greatly. Dh could not put his all in at work if he had to take the sick day hits, go to work late and leave early the way I used to when I worked. DH never took a sick day in his working life for himself or for the kids. He doesn’t stay home if the school has a snow day or 2 hour delay. I took that burden every single time.

Would he have only earned 500k vs $2m if we split child duties? I could have continued to earn 200k to his 500k. When I worked, he may have taken a week off during Xmas and I would have taken a week. He likes having a stay at home wife. He never has to worry about the kids.

The bolded is very sad to me. He cares so little.

This is how I know you don’t have a net worth of $10 million, and neither do your parents or any of your friends.
This is how these men are.

I always found the idea of a man cold bizarre. I don’t know any men who lay around in bed if they are sick. They still go to work.

Quite the opposite. The man cold is real. Real good dads do take sick days for their kids. What is sad is because you don’t know any men like this (including your H) you think it’s normal, it’s not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp here. Husband’s workload and amount he contributes to the childcare and household duties matter greatly. Dh could not put his all in at work if he had to take the sick day hits, go to work late and leave early the way I used to when I worked. DH never took a sick day in his working life for himself or for the kids. He doesn’t stay home if the school has a snow day or 2 hour delay. I took that burden every single time.

Would he have only earned 500k vs $2m if we split child duties? I could have continued to earn 200k to his 500k. When I worked, he may have taken a week off during Xmas and I would have taken a week. He likes having a stay at home wife. He never has to worry about the kids.

The bolded is very sad to me. He cares so little.

This is how I know you don’t have a net worth of $10 million, and neither do your parents or any of your friends.
This is how these men are.

I always found the idea of a man cold bizarre. I don’t know any men who lay around in bed if they are sick. They still go to work.

On the contrary, my friend. On the contrary.

You are just making excuses for a man who doesn’t care about his kids.

It’s not an excuse. It’s just reality. People’s priorities and personalities are consistent across all facets of their life. It just is.

Agree with you, actually. He has made it clear that being a caring person is not a priority for him. He doesn’t care for his kids, and that’s true across the board.

Sorry you married and procreated with a creep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp here. Husband’s workload and amount he contributes to the childcare and household duties matter greatly. Dh could not put his all in at work if he had to take the sick day hits, go to work late and leave early the way I used to when I worked. DH never took a sick day in his working life for himself or for the kids. He doesn’t stay home if the school has a snow day or 2 hour delay. I took that burden every single time.

Would he have only earned 500k vs $2m if we split child duties? I could have continued to earn 200k to his 500k. When I worked, he may have taken a week off during Xmas and I would have taken a week. He likes having a stay at home wife. He never has to worry about the kids.

The bolded is very sad to me. He cares so little.

This is how I know you don’t have a net worth of $10 million, and neither do your parents or any of your friends.
This is how these men are.

I always found the idea of a man cold bizarre. I don’t know any men who lay around in bed if they are sick. They still go to work.

On the contrary, my friend. On the contrary.

You are just making excuses for a man who doesn’t care about his kids.

It’s not an excuse. It’s just reality. People’s priorities and personalities are consistent across all facets of their life. It just is.

That’s why many successful men are also successful parents, coaching, and doing ever you do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp here. Husband’s workload and amount he contributes to the childcare and household duties matter greatly. Dh could not put his all in at work if he had to take the sick day hits, go to work late and leave early the way I used to when I worked. DH never took a sick day in his working life for himself or for the kids. He doesn’t stay home if the school has a snow day or 2 hour delay. I took that burden every single time.

Would he have only earned 500k vs $2m if we split child duties? I could have continued to earn 200k to his 500k. When I worked, he may have taken a week off during Xmas and I would have taken a week. He likes having a stay at home wife. He never has to worry about the kids.

The bolded is very sad to me. He cares so little.

This is how I know you don’t have a net worth of $10 million, and neither do your parents or any of your friends.
This is how these men are.

I always found the idea of a man cold bizarre. I don’t know any men who lay around in bed if they are sick. They still go to work.

On the contrary, my friend. On the contrary.

You are just making excuses for a man who doesn’t care about his kids.

It’s not an excuse. It’s just reality. People’s priorities and personalities are consistent across all facets of their life. It just is.

That’s why many successful men are also successful parents, coaching, and doing ever you do.

Most truly successful parents - men or women are not raising their kids. Either their spouse is or the hired help. Lets be real. Except a rare exception, the wife and or help does 100% of the work and they just are home for a few hours to sleep and change and if the kids are lucky see them an hour or two a day and maybe weekends. They aren't cooking, cleaning, taking the kids to the doctor, lawn care, buying clothing, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH would have had to stay a fed if I didn’t take a HUGE step back in my career. There is no way he could have achieved what he wanted with two kids if he had to be responsible for either mornings or evenings with the kids 5x/week (not to mention half of lunches, meals, appointments, sick days, etc.) And our marriage probably wouldn’t have survived the stress either. It works for us. I think we’ll make it, but if we don’t then I don’t see why I should get effed for letting him fly.

Why do you guys have to lie to yourselves?

You do not need to have a stay at home parent to be successful.

There are tons of power couples with children.

He let you stay home, it was great for you, but it’s not the reason he was successful.

LOL, any credibility you had was lost when you said "power couple". Also, why is that an assumed goal? Who wants to live a work-work-work life when you could enjoy your family?

You are just making excuses. What are you doing with your time during the workday? Baking cookies? Planting flowers? Playing with your children? Exercising?

Seriously. You could be out there helping rich people get richer and widening income inequality in the US. You could be pulling down multi family apartment buildings and building expensive condos in their place.

I don’t know how you even live with yourself, pp.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My guess is that you would have not had that much money as a single parent with 3 kids. Would you have had this much success if you had to leave every day at 5 pm to pick up kids, take numerous unplanned sick days, work shorter hours in summer, etc?
Your wife staying home contributed to you being able to make that much money.

Exactly.

Probably why they're getting divorced. DH unappreciative of everything DW did, freeing DH to achieve success.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp here. Husband’s workload and amount he contributes to the childcare and household duties matter greatly. Dh could not put his all in at work if he had to take the sick day hits, go to work late and leave early the way I used to when I worked. DH never took a sick day in his working life for himself or for the kids. He doesn’t stay home if the school has a snow day or 2 hour delay. I took that burden every single time.

Would he have only earned 500k vs $2m if we split child duties? I could have continued to earn 200k to his 500k. When I worked, he may have taken a week off during Xmas and I would have taken a week. He likes having a stay at home wife. He never has to worry about the kids.

The bolded is very sad to me. He cares so little.

This is how I know you don’t have a net worth of $10 million, and neither do your parents or any of your friends.
This is how these men are.

I always found the idea of a man cold bizarre. I don’t know any men who lay around in bed if they are sick. They still go to work.

On the contrary, my friend. On the contrary.

You are just making excuses for a man who doesn’t care about his kids.

It’s not an excuse. It’s just reality. People’s priorities and personalities are consistent across all facets of their life. It just is.

Agree with you, actually. He has made it clear that being a caring person is not a priority for him. He doesn’t care for his kids, and that’s true across the board.

Sorry you married and procreated with a creep.

Isn’t that your husband? You’ve said he never cares for his kids. Sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sitting here 8 mos pregnant with norovirus running through the house with a 4 yr old and 6 yr old (cancelling a planned vacation) and wondering how TF anyone with dual high powered jobs handle this without a sahp? A full time nanny with school age children perhaps? So much vomit. We are wrecked after last night and I’m thankfully not working today but my husband is. Not sure a nanny would want to touch this mess.

They would take sick leave like a normal person.

Lol you think SAHM’s don’t have help.

BTW call a wash and fold place to get the laundry done.

Order groceries and have them delivered.

A cleaning person is $150.

It’s not all that complicated.

I think perhaps it’s so hard because you can’t really mitigate issues when they arrive and you make small issues big.

Your “power H” could take a vacation but not a sick day? SMFH

Yes, 1 person takes sick leave and then you both argue about who has more important things going on at work (although the day after Christmas who has anything important going on?). And not everyone can just take sick leave or even gets a lot of sick leave.

We actually argue about who gets to take sick leave, laying on the couch all day watching kid movies.

Yes everyone gets sick leave it’s the law.

So much privilege speaking in the "everyone gets sick leave" statement.

Not everyone gets sick leave. If you are an individual contractor, hourly worker or are self-employed, you do not get sick leave. In many of those situations, if you do not work, you do not get paid.

In other employment situations, a person may technically get sick leave but if is not permitted to take it to care for someone else (child or elder), or it may be frowned upon to take it to the extent that if is a black mark on your performance either explicitly or implicitly making you an "unreliable" worker.

In addition, some
people have jobs where they really aren't in a position to take sick leave to care for an ill family member - they may be on travel frequently or in a work space that doesn't allow for the kind of contact during the work day that would allow one to respond to sick calls from school.

Everyone gets sick leave. Not everyone gets paid sick leave.

It’s not as complicated as your trying to make it sound, but that probably why you can’t do both.

Oh, if only more people were like you and could spend their time trying to keep white collar criminals out of jail and less people were like pp caring for her sick parents. The whole world could be a hellhole.

I’m not the lawyer. But everyone has the right to a defense. It’s in the constitution.

People who work also care for their sick parents. It’s a wild fake world you’ve created in your head.

There are also SAHM who moved to DC for their husbands job who don’t care for their sick parents.

Read the thread before you comment.

I did. You are twisting yourself in knots to justify your life to strangers.

Look in the mirror and give yourself a high 5, be happy with your life and stop trying to justify it.

Some people can work and do everything you do, some can’t. It’s okay hon.

Really, you are the only one making up crazy stuff trying to justify your life. Everyone else seems perfectly reasonable, even if they disagree.

You keep insisting that you don’t have to make any tradeoffs in life and don’t need any help or support from your spouse because you are, somehow, superhuman and not limited by space and time.
I’m not sure if this is just internet hyperbole or if you are, in fact, delusional.

It’s really not that complicated.

You drop kids at school, go to work, pick them up and do it all over again the next day.

You’re making up stories about everyone working 70 hours a week in jobs with no sick leave and no phones for schools to contact parents.

No one has a job making $600-800k/yr and only working the hours kids are in school.