Has anyone had an affair with someone who turned out to be a better partner for them.
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Anonymous
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Reluctant to use the word soulmate here but both of us came together in the strangest most unplanned in predictable way.
Both currently in sexless- unaffectionate marriages with young kids which is what makes divorce difficult. Since meeting we've have a series of strange coincidences which are hard to ignore (like signs which I never believed in) We've connected on so many levels and it is making us question everything in our lives. Has this happened to others who have had affairs? How did it turn out. This is not just sex. We see each other almost every day and talk all the time. It just seems like we are such better matches for each other than our spouses. |
Anonymous
OMG... Another one. I don't even know where to start... |
Anonymous
| oh brother! bff and soulmate, two overrated words! |
Anonymous
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You live in a fantasy world.
Once you have to wash the sh&t stains out of his underwear while you both sink 40K into your respective custody battles, and he begins cheating on you...all will become clear |
Anonymous
 +1.
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Anonymous
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What do you really know about him as a partner other than the fact that he is willing to step outside of his marriage for sex?
Maybe he's in a sexless marriage because he is a terrible partner and instead of working on his marriage he is sleeping with you? Sounds like a pretty bad partner to me. |
Anonymous
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It's funny how people post things like doing someone's laundry or taking a crap is a reason to "wake up" to reality.
News flash. We all use the bathroom and have bad habits. I doubt that will be a deterrent in being with someone you think could be a good match for you. Just my two cents |
Anonymous
OP? Sock-puppeting your own thread? Presumably OP and her other man thought they choose the people they married were good matches and are now cheating on them...so... |
Anonymous
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Honey, everyone who has an affair think that the affair partner is a better partner for them. That's why they're having the affair. Their wives or husbands never understand them, there's never any affection, etc.
Regarding all your spooky science, I offer you this cop: http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Confirmation_bias |
Anonymous
| Science = signs. Sorry, voice dictating. |
Anonymous
I agree. Being married to someone else and having young children with him? Excellent deterrent. I'd invest more in the marriage I already have. And FWIW, the times I've been unhappy with my marriage what I really needed to work on was me. Maybe start there, OP. |
Anonymous
| Yes, we've been married almost 10 years now. No kids before though. That complicates things. |
Anonymous
| Please allow me to choke the next person who uses the word "soulmate". I always think of some sensitive guy with a beard when I hear that word. |
Anonymous
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It's possible your AP is a better match for you than your current spouse, but the only way you'd know is if you divorced, remarried, and waited several years. Are you willing to give up stability, money, custody, plus several years of your life on the chance that this MAY be a better fit?
How long have you been together with your spouse? What about with your AP? Do either of you have kids? |
Anonymous
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Oh sure. He seemed perfect for me. He was my soulmate. Then we both left our spouses and discovered all the things about each other that were hidden or downplayed during the affair-- like his heavy drinking habit and neediness, and my inability to communicate and stubborn need for solitude. We broke up.
You cannot clearly evaluate someone as a partner when you're in an affair. |