Boyfriend doesn't like that I make more money that him..

[Anonymous]

My lovely but now dreadful boyfriend of 9 months told me over the weekend that I should " pick another career choice " because he doesn't like the fact that I will " be the bread winner". I'm in grad school and will make double what he does but he still makes great money. Lately in realizing what I thought was cute behavior is now worrying me. I believe he may be a narcissist. He tries to control me, texts/calls constantly, he is very much into himself and he is " special". Literally told me that. He recently decided the timeline of when we will get married and have kids. He started calling me names and demeaning me when he doesn't like what I have to say or doesn't get his way. I'm so ready to end it with him but I love him.

[Anonymous]

Eek, get out now.

[Anonymous]

Run. Run, or become the basis for a Lifetime movie.

[Anonymous]

Uh. You've gotta know these are red flags.

[Anonymous]

DTMFA.

My wife makes double what I do; I make a very healthy chunk, and actually support an ex wife to some degree, at least for a little while longer (not child support). I had a self-image built around being the breadwinner. It was uncomfortable, but do-able, to come around to accepting that my wife is the bigger earner.

The add-on junk behavior? DTMFA. Be glad you make more, because if you made less, he'd be like my asshole BIL who thinks he's entitled to be a selfish jerk in the marriage because he makes more of the money. Most insecure guys need to be able to control their women, and money is a big way a lot of them do that.

[Anonymous]

DTMF indeed .... pronto.

What an a-hole.

Signed,
A DH

[Anonymous]

Run, don't walk. Seriously. Stop excusing his behavior with "but I LOVE him"

[Anonymous]

Keep the career, ditch the guy asap.

[Anonymous]

It's OK to love him, yet leave him.

You need to look out for yourself in order to have a happy, fulfilled life with your career and your kids (if that's what you want). This man is apparently not the one who will make you happy in the long run.

Be aware that as soon as he understands you are really leaving him, he may plead and beg and promise to change. Or alternatively threaten harm to himself or others. You may choose to give him a second chance then, but he won't change and you'll soon be back at square one.

[Anonymous]

That sounds crazy to me, op. What other signs are you looking for?

[Anonymous]

It's okay to love him, but not if you don't love yourself first. And there's no way you can really love yourself if you put up with this nonsense.

Run.

[Anonymous]

Run

[Anonymous]

Get out now. It will only get worse from here. Much worse.

[Anonymous]

Run!

[Anonymous]

this is why men keep treating good women like shit.

you are a smart woman on the cusp of a successful career. how in the world are you still with this guy (9 months!) after so many crazy red flags??? and how in the world are you still even unsure of what to do??????


- one absolutely befuddled single dad