Ask DH to remove photos of & with ex on Facebook??

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure whether I'm being too sensitive or not... DH and I had a good relationship, but after the birth of our baby (8 months ago), things have been very, rocky...lots of general grumpiness and arguments from both of us. We love each other, but the past several months have tested our devotion. Fortunately, in the past couple of weeks, things had started improving. Until...

I recently discovered that DH tried to have sex with another woman while traveling for work a couple months ago. I haven't yet asked him about it, but I've become paranoid because my absolute trust in him has been shattered. (From what I could tell, logistical issues prevented them from actually getting together). In my "what else don't I know about" paranoia, I've started combing through all of his social media posts, and discovered photos he took before we were together, with his ex girlfriend, whom he loved deeply. There are also posts on his Facebook about her, but she isn't in his Friends list. (Though they are connected on LinkedIn)

I'm debating whether I should ask him to take the photos down or not. Does anyone have any advice/thoughts, either pro or con?

DH is someone who practically grilled me on how I know each of my Facebook friends, and let me know that he is not OK with my being friends with Ex-es. (He has another work trip next month, so I plan to wait until he returns to discuss what I learned about his planned tryst from this past summer.)

The funny thing is that I'm normally pretty easy-going, and might not have cared much about the photos at all, if it hadn't been for his attempted tryst!

[Anonymous]

Focus on the actual issue, his attempts to have sex with other women. Don't make it about Facebook posts. You're not 13.

[Anonymous]

Ok there is a lot going on here. You two need counseling stat. And I normally poo poo on the constant counseling replies.

[Anonymous]

How did you find out about the planned tryst, and why don't you want to ask him about it now?

I think you should leave the photo thing alone.

[Anonymous]

You have no business accessing his social media accounts and other personal information.

[Anonymous]

You do not get to give him grief about photos taken and posts made about someone he used to date if those photos and posts occurred prior to your relationship. If he is posting about his ex now, that's a problem.

You need to focus on the actual planned infidelity, as well as the other issues you guys clearly have. The Facebook photo thing is going to distract from those valid issues, imo.

[Anonymous]

I think you SHOULD have him take the social media pics off. Why can he grill you about your friends etc. but you shouldn't ask him anything?
Why are you waiting to ask him about his attempt to have sex with another? How did you find out?

[Anonymous]

So he's cheating on you. You stay or go.
Sorry to be so blunt but it is what it is

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Focus on the actual issue, his attempts to have sex with other women. Don't make it about Facebook posts. You're not 13.

This. Stop detracting from the real issue. Step up and focus.

[Anonymous]

You haven't asked your husband about his plan to have sex with another woman!?!

[Anonymous]

OP here, I appreciate the replies. I didn't hack into his social media stuff, just looked at what anyone (eg, Facebook friend) can see.

So far, I decided to wait on asking him about the other woman plan because it's so out of character for him. I don't think he has ever done anything like that before, and before I really go off on him, I want to wait until his next trip. Things have been so good between us lately, I want to enjoy our relationship before starting a major discussion.

But counseling might be the way to go on this. Thanks again, all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, I appreciate the replies. I didn't hack into his social media stuff, just looked at what anyone (eg, Facebook friend) can see.

So far, I decided to wait on asking him about the other woman plan because it's so out of character for him. I don't think he has ever done anything like that before, and before I really go off on him, I want to wait until his next trip. Things have been so good between us lately, I want to enjoy our relationship before starting a major discussion.

But counseling might be the way to go on this. Thanks again, all.

How did you find out about the attempted tryst?

[Anonymous]

You are being very very very foolish. Ask him now, why wait? Obviously I can tell your communication is abnormal.

[Anonymous]

Agree with 17:01 and 17:06. And I'm a guy

There is a lot that is not good right now in your marriage.

[Anonymous]

He is banging other women. FACT.