I will bite - here is my honest answer.
Male, 38 years old. Wife and 2 youngish kids at home. I have full blown cheated once and some less than full blown cheating a few other times. Most common reason is the same reason you pursue women when you are single. It is fun, sex feels good, sex with someone new feels even better. The other factor (I know you don't want to hear this, but I am trying to be honest) is that I do get very lonely by the lack of sex at home. I understand it is natural for women to lose libido with kids. And trust me, I have tried everything to rekindle the sex at home. I don't want to use this as an excuse. I will admit that it is selfish of me to cheat, but I would probably cheat less if at all if the sex life at home was better.
As for why I don't leave my wife, why would I? She is a wonderful wife and mother in every respect except in the bedroom. I see no reason to blast the kids into custody wars and split assets, etc. My wife and I genuinely enjoy our time together, and getting the occasional physical pleasure on the side helps relieve the tension in the house. I assume as I get older I will want sex less, she will want sex more, and the outside adventures will stop (or we will start swinging together).
I also suppose the fact that almost all men I know (in the upper middle class set) have cheated at some point so it seems normal, not a big deal, almost expected.
Most honest response I can give you.
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