How are kids supposed to address professors? Dr., Professor, first name? Daughter got rude reaction

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Imagine what a miserable and insufferable son of a b**** you have to be for “Hi [your first name]” to bother you! Up the SSRI dose, jeez.

I totally agree. They could have responded in a kinder/more informative way. They could have gently said something like "hey I don't really mind if you call me by my first name when you know me, but until then, would you please call me "XYZ". I work at a university and am a lawyer. I don't care who calls me by my first name. Some people with PhDs do seem very sensitive. To me, a "dr." is someone who went to med school, not some idiot PhD in a worthless humanities department.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes they should be addressed as Professor, unless the prof says otherwise. Basic respect.

+1

This is particularly important if the professor is a woman or POC.

[Anonymous]

I think the truly bizarre thing I've read in this nutty thread so far is that there are apparently people who believe the use of titles reduces sexual assault and harassment. That is whacked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the truly bizarre thing I've read in this nutty thread so far is that there are apparently people who believe the use of titles reduces sexual assault and harassment. That is whacked.

I actually thought the original quote on that was meant as sarcasm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Daughter is a freshman at Stanford. She said most profs are first name. Confident and chill vibes at Stanford.

You are not the first poster to mention profs that go by first names have more confidence. I don't think wanting students to call a prof by last name is a sign of insecurity - just a preference for more formality and boundary in the classroom - a question of style and tone. Most (but not all) of my daughter's profs at her east coast ivy also say first name is OK, but she waits until invited to do so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Daughter is a freshman at Stanford. She said most profs are first name. Confident and chill vibes at Stanford.

You are not the first poster to mention profs that go by first names have more confidence. I don't think wanting students to call a prof by last name is a sign of insecurity - just a preference for more formality and boundary in the classroom - a question of style and tone. Most (but not all) of my daughter's profs at her east coast ivy also say first name is OK, but she waits until invited to do so.

OP's daughter said that's what most of the profs preferred, and several posts have confirmed that yes, many profs do say that - yet...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Daughter is a freshman at Stanford. She said most profs are first name. Confident and chill vibes at Stanford.

You are not the first poster to mention profs that go by first names have more confidence. I don't think wanting students to call a prof by last name is a sign of insecurity - just a preference for more formality and boundary in the classroom - a question of style and tone. Most (but not all) of my daughter's profs at her east coast ivy also say first name is OK, but she waits until invited to do so.

OP's daughter said that's what most of the profs preferred, and several posts have confirmed that yes, many profs do say that - yet...

You use the more formal term until someone says the informal one is fine. This is not hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the truly bizarre thing I've read in this nutty thread so far is that there are apparently people who believe the use of titles reduces sexual assault and harassment. That is whacked.

I actually thought the original quote on that was meant as sarcasm.

I thought so too initially, but I think those posters are serious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the truly bizarre thing I've read in this nutty thread so far is that there are apparently people who believe the use of titles reduces sexual assault and harassment. That is whacked.

I actually thought the original quote on that was meant as sarcasm.

I thought so too initially, but I think those posters are serious.

There is a difference between "using formal titles protects from sexual harassment" and "NOT using formal titles protects from sexual harassment."

I would have thought that people could see they are not the same, but apparently not.

[Anonymous]

CORRECTED:

There is a difference between "using formal titles protects from sexual harassment" and "NOT using formal titles DOES NOT protect from sexual harassment."

I would have thought that people could see they are not the same, but apparently not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes they should be addressed as Professor, unless the prof says otherwise. Basic respect.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Daughter is a freshman at Stanford. She said most profs are first name. Confident and chill vibes at Stanford.

You are not the first poster to mention profs that go by first names have more confidence. I don't think wanting students to call a prof by last name is a sign of insecurity - just a preference for more formality and boundary in the classroom - a question of style and tone. Most (but not all) of my daughter's profs at her east coast ivy also say first name is OK, but she waits until invited to do so.

It really depends. At my undergrad, we all used Dr. with professors (school was in the South and more formal, I guess). Spouse went to Stanford, which has a much more informal atmosphere.

In my Ph.D. program (in an East Coast city), we called all professors by their first name--except my research advisor. He's a pioneer in our field, highly cited, and received plenty of awards and NIH grants. Confidence is not an issue. We all called him Dr., and only began using his first name after we graduated and were no longer his students.

tl;dr: Conventions differ at different universities. But I agree that if you don't know what to use, deferring to a more formal title is the best approach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:CORRECTED:

There is a difference between "using formal titles protects from sexual harassment" and "NOT using formal titles DOES NOT protect from sexual harassment."

I would have thought that people could see they are not the same, but apparently not.

That's not what those posters are saying, though. They are stating that "keeping distance" by using formal titles reduces sexual harassment and assault.

To me, that is totally crazy thinking. It's the weirdest thing in a nutty thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Imagine what a miserable and insufferable son of a b**** you have to be for “Hi [your first name]” to bother you! Up the SSRI dose, jeez.

I totally agree. They could have responded in a kinder/more informative way. They could have gently said something like "hey I don't really mind if you call me by my first name when you know me, but until then, would you please call me "XYZ". I work at a university and am a lawyer. I don't care who calls me by my first name. Some people with PhDs do seem very sensitive. To me, a "dr." is someone who went to med school, not some idiot PhD in a worthless humanities department.

You sound lovely.

[Anonymous]

Professor here.

My experience has been humorous. I introduce myself at the first class and tell the students it's fine to call me by my first name. Then, over the course of the semester, I find that the students who call me professor are the ones I'd be happy to call me by my first name, and the students who call me by my first name are the ones I really wish would call me professor.