Class fund non-participants: where do you think the party food comes from??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^ and the requests were coming from multiple places: PTA, after school, party fund etc etc. And on a more personal note the room parent tended to get all the benefit of giving the gifts/ parties she used the class money for. Not to mention $135 for pizza pretty pricey.

$135 is insane for pizza. You don't have to give to the PTA. We opt out of the PTA activities after doing them and not seeing the value. I get no benefit except making the kids happy and often I end up supplementing as people don't send in their sign up genius items and often end up paying for the majority of the party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP- I (and many of my mom friends) don't want our kids to have pizza at school... so don't buy it, ok?

Here's an idea, tell your kids not to eat it. The parents who say they don't want it usually have the kids the first to line up. Plus, its not your money, so your option is to tell your kid not to eat or say thanks.

Wait.. What? This whole thread is the OP bitching about parents not contributing to the pizza fund. So even if you don't want your kids to eat it, OP's going to shame you for not paying for it.

I agree that the parents who say they don't want it have the kids who are the first to line up. That's why the parents don't want it. Parents can control what they put in their child's lunchbox. They can't control what other people bring in and share with their kids.

Then you email the teacher and room parent and say your child cannot eat the pizza. Then you tell your child not to eat it. Pizza 2-3 times a year at school is not going to hurt them. They probably eat pizza and other junk at home and other places far more often. I'd rather my child be eating pizza then all the candy and other crap often offered.

[Anonymous]

We only collect 10$ per family in my MCPS elementary school (fairly affluent). That's supposed to cover food/activities for 3 parties (Halloween, Valentine's Day and end of year) plus a teacher holiday gift and an end of the year gift. In practice, parents provide most of the food, we use the room parent funds for the gift cards and the room parents pay for the crafts so we don't need to bother people about more $ needed. So for room parents you need to be willing to shell out more dough. I suggested at one point that we increase it to 20$ per family since our school is fairly affluent, but other more experienced room parents said there was so much whining that it wasn't worth the hassle so they leave it at 10$ and supplement out of their own pocket.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP- I (and many of my mom friends) don't want our kids to have pizza at school... so don't buy it, ok?

Here's an idea, tell your kids not to eat it. The parents who say they don't want it usually have the kids the first to line up. Plus, its not your money, so your option is to tell your kid not to eat or say thanks.

Wait.. What? This whole thread is the OP bitching about parents not contributing to the pizza fund. So even if you don't want your kids to eat it, OP's going to shame you for not paying for it.

I agree that the parents who say they don't want it have the kids who are the first to line up. That's why the parents don't want it. Parents can control what they put in their child's lunchbox. They can't control what other people bring in and share with their kids.

Then you email the teacher and room parent and say your child cannot eat the pizza. Then you tell your child not to eat it. Pizza 2-3 times a year at school is not going to hurt them. They probably eat pizza and other junk at home and other places far more often. I'd rather my child be eating pizza then all the candy and other crap often offered.

Or, they could simply not order pizza, since it's completely unnecessary and apparently overly expensive for OP. Why does OP get to demand money from everyone else because she wants to provide pizza for parties? I don't care enough about pizza, donuts, or whatever to bother the teacher or make my kid feel in any way ostracized, but I certainly think that all of the junk food and pizza is extraneous and completely unnecessary. Why should I have to pay because OP wants to play hostess and set a nice spread on everyone else's dime?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was often the room parent when my kids were in lower grades and I used to send out emails at the beginning of the year detailing what activities, parties, food, teacher's gift we would have for the entire year. I met with the teacher to draw out the plans (usually duplicating what was done in the previous years), and send an email and a signup genius link to all parents. An email was sent every week for the first 6 weeks, listing the names of all the people who had contributed. Within the first couple of weeks, all parents used to sent in their fixed $ contribution. We usually had a set number of celebrations, some activities and holiday teacher's gift. We relied on some parents to make a costco run for the parties.

I did not want to run after people to get money from them, so I made sure that all the funds were collected during the first few weeks of school. I sent emails every week for the first few weeks listing the names of people who contributed and those who still had to. It was easy to write the reminder emails at the beginning of the year.

OP, being a room parent is a responsibility not a popularity contest. You need to be blunt and make sure that everyone contributes at least a minimum agreed upon amount. If people want to contribute more it is up to them, but the fixed amount contribution is mandatory.

Wow, this is really shitting. You called out the people who didn't contribute? You're pretty rude to even gripe about it behind their backs, but you are an awful person for shaming them in a group email.

- a room mom

Agreed. It is terrible to keep track and call out people like that.
Our teacher gave us room parents a form letter for the class donation which we adapted. In it she asked us to keep track of amounts but not who donated. I think that was best.

+1!

If a room parent in my DC’s class sent out a class wide email naming families who didn’t give money, I would think very poorly of that room parent, not of the parents who didn’t (for whatever reason) contribute!

That is really inappropriate to keep track of who gives and who does not. I would never agree to that (nor do I even keep track). Either we get the money or sign ups and if we don't I pay.

I can’t believe you did this. So rude. I would think horrible of you as well- not the families who didn’t contribute

Its horrible I pay for the parties if we don't get enough donations or I don't feel like bothering to ask for donations because of how people are? Yes, what a terrible person I am.

But you're at least getting a list of the FARMs kids so you're not publicly shaming parents who may not be able to fund your elementary school party planning dreams, right? Or did you already get rid of the "poors" from your kids school because no one who needs that $30 for groceries more than a slice of Domino's and another Oriental Trading Company craft that gets thrown out in the next cleaning purge should come within classroom distance of your kid, right?

I'm kind of embarrassed for you that you couldn't find a solution that didn't involve publicly shaming people who didn't pony up for pointless classroom parties. Your options aren't extort money or pay for it yourself. Maybe "how people are" is more of a reaction to you and your tactics - our veteran class mom seems to be doing quite well using honey rather than an acid attack.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was often the room parent when my kids were in lower grades and I used to send out emails at the beginning of the year detailing what activities, parties, food, teacher's gift we would have for the entire year. I met with the teacher to draw out the plans (usually duplicating what was done in the previous years), and send an email and a signup genius link to all parents. An email was sent every week for the first 6 weeks, listing the names of all the people who had contributed. Within the first couple of weeks, all parents used to sent in their fixed $ contribution. We usually had a set number of celebrations, some activities and holiday teacher's gift. We relied on some parents to make a costco run for the parties.

I did not want to run after people to get money from them, so I made sure that all the funds were collected during the first few weeks of school. I sent emails every week for the first few weeks listing the names of people who contributed and those who still had to. It was easy to write the reminder emails at the beginning of the year.

OP, being a room parent is a responsibility not a popularity contest. You need to be blunt and make sure that everyone contributes at least a minimum agreed upon amount. If people want to contribute more it is up to them, but the fixed amount contribution is mandatory.

Wow, this is really shitting. You called out the people who didn't contribute? You're pretty rude to even gripe about it behind their backs, but you are an awful person for shaming them in a group email.

- a room mom

Agreed. It is terrible to keep track and call out people like that.
Our teacher gave us room parents a form letter for the class donation which we adapted. In it she asked us to keep track of amounts but not who donated. I think that was best.

+1!

If a room parent in my DC’s class sent out a class wide email naming families who didn’t give money, I would think very poorly of that room parent, not of the parents who didn’t (for whatever reason) contribute!

That is really inappropriate to keep track of who gives and who does not. I would never agree to that (nor do I even keep track). Either we get the money or sign ups and if we don't I pay.

I can’t believe you did this. So rude. I would think horrible of you as well- not the families who didn’t contribute

Its horrible I pay for the parties if we don't get enough donations or I don't feel like bothering to ask for donations because of how people are? Yes, what a terrible person I am.

But you're at least getting a list of the FARMs kids so you're not publicly shaming parents who may not be able to fund your elementary school party planning dreams, right? Or did you already get rid of the "poors" from your kids school because no one who needs that $30 for groceries more than a slice of Domino's and another Oriental Trading Company craft that gets thrown out in the next cleaning purge should come within classroom distance of your kid, right?

I'm kind of embarrassed for you that you couldn't find a solution that didn't involve publicly shaming people who didn't pony up for pointless classroom parties. Your options aren't extort money or pay for it yourself. Maybe "how people are" is more of a reaction to you and your tactics - our veteran class mom seems to be doing quite well using honey rather than an acid attack.

Whats sad is generally the lower income families seem to be the most generous and the more comfortable ones more stingy. If you don't like it, don't have your child participate. No one is shaming anyone and if we kept a list, it would be the PTA parents and a few others who never seem to donate. But, then again, I find it shameful that most people on here complaining are probably pretty comfortable. We are DCUM poor but we can manage our money well and have no issue splurging on a few parties for kids, especially when some don't get parties any other time - you know those FARM kids that you are ranting about that you clearly have no idea about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We only collect 10$ per family in my MCPS elementary school (fairly affluent). That's supposed to cover food/activities for 3 parties (Halloween, Valentine's Day and end of year) plus a teacher holiday gift and an end of the year gift. In practice, parents provide most of the food, we use the room parent funds for the gift cards and the room parents pay for the crafts so we don't need to bother people about more $ needed. So for room parents you need to be willing to shell out more dough. I suggested at one point that we increase it to 20$ per family since our school is fairly affluent, but other more experienced room parents said there was so much whining that it wasn't worth the hassle so they leave it at 10$ and supplement out of their own pocket.

I gave up collecting money and either just pay for the entire party or do a sign up genius. Too many nasty parents out there who aren't willing to do much of anything and its not worth the hassle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ and the requests were coming from multiple places: PTA, after school, party fund etc etc. And on a more personal note the room parent tended to get all the benefit of giving the gifts/ parties she used the class money for. Not to mention $135 for pizza pretty pricey.

$135 is insane for pizza. You don't have to give to the PTA. We opt out of the PTA activities after doing them and not seeing the value. I get no benefit except making the kids happy and often I end up supplementing as people don't send in their sign up genius items and often end up paying for the majority of the party.

I would rather give money to the PTA who will use it for enrichment activities than to a couple of 2 hour parties. I think the parties are great and don't even have a problem with pizza but, come on, some people have priorities very confused.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our expenses are a lot lower. We don't do pizza parties to start with.

I don't think anyone would mind having less parties.

This. Pizza parties?

[Anonymous]

I NEVER contribute to the class gift and we have no shortage of money. This Christmas I gave each teacher (inc specials ) a $50 Amazon gift card. Will do the same at the end of the year, plus a large edible arrangement for the front desk staff.

I also agree, dont understand the pizza. Parties everyone being something and for a craft a $5 donation is requested 2 weeks before the party. I send in $20 /[ cover people who cant or wint donate. NBD.

[Anonymous]

My kids' school only does about 3 parties per year, and each of the parties probably has about a $50 budget for the class. I'll be sure to let the kids know that they're being shortchanged.

The school is pretty clear that the food at parties is a snack and is not lunch or a lunch replacement. The kids already have lunch. They don't need a second lunch.

[Anonymous]

I think most of you have never been a room parent. It is a thankless job. One year, I got drafted by the teacher because no one would volunteer to do it.

It is very frustrating to ask for food, material or financial donations and have half the parents ignore you. This refers to schools with middle to upper middle class populations, NOT to Title I schools or to parents that can’t afford to contribute. They ignore because they can-the party will carry on, either scaled back or funded by the room mom. It’s not right.

I’m amazed at all the comments advocating for no parties. Childhood is about joy...there’s nothing wrong with celebrating life or celebrating holidays.

Op, if pizza is the expectation at your school, scale it back to Costco pizza and mini cupcakes. One dollar store craft, one game. Dollar store tablecloth, one or two balloons.

Unfortunately, you’ll probably have to kick in some money this year as a result of spending more than your budget. But it’s a lesson learned that will carry over if you are ever silly enough to volunteer again

Everyone is giving this woman a hard time and I think her heart is in the right place. Unfortunately, not everyone values the same things for their kids I guess..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think most of you have never been a room parent. It is a thankless job. One year, I got drafted by the teacher because no one would volunteer to do it.

It is very frustrating to ask for food, material or financial donations and have half the parents ignore you. This refers to schools with middle to upper middle class populations, NOT to Title I schools or to parents that can’t afford to contribute. They ignore because they can-the party will carry on, either scaled back or funded by the room mom. It’s not right.

I’m amazed at all the comments advocating for no parties. Childhood is about joy...there’s nothing wrong with celebrating life or celebrating holidays.

Op, if pizza is the expectation at your school, scale it back to Costco pizza and mini cupcakes. One dollar store craft, one game. Dollar store tablecloth, one or two balloons.

Unfortunately, you’ll probably have to kick in some money this year as a result of spending more than your budget. But it’s a lesson learned that will carry over if you are ever silly enough to volunteer again

Everyone is giving this woman a hard time and I think her heart is in the right place. Unfortunately, not everyone values the same things for their kids I guess..

Sorry. I don't think that anyone who is publicly shaming people for not contributing has her heart in the right place. OP seems like a high-maintenance control freak with fantasies about being important in her kids' classroom. She's then trying to bully everyone else into funding her ridiculous parties. It's like the room parent version of being a bridezilla.

Absolutely nobody is advocating for no parties. Most of us think that there's no reason to hold expensive parties that offer a full lunch. I'd hate to teach my children that to celebrate life or have any joy, they need over-the-top expensive parties. My kids attend a Title I school with very modest parties. I don't think they have any less childhood joy than the rich kids who apparently need gourmet pizza at their class parties. If anything, they probably have more childhood joy because they're not overly spoiled and demanding.

For the second bolded point, I agree that not everyone values the same things for their kids. Many people value putting their money into music lessons or other extracurriculars than over-the-top class parties. Again, just because you or the OP have some fantasy about hosting lavish class parties doesn't mean that everyone else has to foot the bill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think most of you have never been a room parent. It is a thankless job. One year, I got drafted by the teacher because no one would volunteer to do it.

It is very frustrating to ask for food, material or financial donations and have half the parents ignore you. This refers to schools with middle to upper middle class populations, NOT to Title I schools or to parents that can’t afford to contribute. They ignore because they can-the party will carry on, either scaled back or funded by the room mom. It’s not right.

At my Title I school, people sign up for items on sign up genius, and many people contribute. Most of the slots are snapped up within a few hours after the teacher sends the signup genius request. I have not witnessed an unwillingness to contribute to class parties, providing that the demands aren't too ridiculous. If OP asked for modest amounts of money or items, people probably would contribute. Asking for $40/kid is going to receive a lot of eye rolls and parents ignoring you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ and the requests were coming from multiple places: PTA, after school, party fund etc etc. And on a more personal note the room parent tended to get all the benefit of giving the gifts/ parties she used the class money for. Not to mention $135 for pizza pretty pricey.

$135 is insane for pizza. You don't have to give to the PTA. We opt out of the PTA activities after doing them and not seeing the value. I get no benefit except making the kids happy and often I end up supplementing as people don't send in their sign up genius items and often end up paying for the majority of the party.

I would rather give money to the PTA who will use it for enrichment activities than to a couple of 2 hour parties. I think the parties are great and don't even have a problem with pizza but, come on, some people have priorities very confused.

Our school does few enrichment that benefit the entire school population and they are very wasteful on how they use the money.