Class fund non-participants: where do you think the party food comes from??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think most of you have never been a room parent. It is a thankless job. One year, I got drafted by the teacher because no one would volunteer to do it.

It is very frustrating to ask for food, material or financial donations and have half the parents ignore you. This refers to schools with middle to upper middle class populations, NOT to Title I schools or to parents that can’t afford to contribute. They ignore because they can-the party will carry on, either scaled back or funded by the room mom. It’s not right.

I’m amazed at all the comments advocating for no parties. Childhood is about joy...there’s nothing wrong with celebrating life or celebrating holidays.

Op, if pizza is the expectation at your school, scale it back to Costco pizza and mini cupcakes. One dollar store craft, one game. Dollar store tablecloth, one or two balloons.

Unfortunately, you’ll probably have to kick in some money this year as a result of spending more than your budget. But it’s a lesson learned that will carry over if you are ever silly enough to volunteer again

Everyone is giving this woman a hard time and I think her heart is in the right place. Unfortunately, not everyone values the same things for their kids I guess..

Don't assume that you know or deserve to know about the finances of every family in the school. Just because the school is located in a particular area doesn't mean that no-one struggles. It is unreasonable to expect to collect a large amount from every student and you try to justify it by telling yourself that struggles that you don't see don't exist. Honestly, no-one should spend $135 for snacks at a class party or $400 for a teacher gift and expect for anyone else to cover the cost. It is unreasonable at best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think most of you have never been a room parent. It is a thankless job. One year, I got drafted by the teacher because no one would volunteer to do it.

It is very frustrating to ask for food, material or financial donations and have half the parents ignore you. This refers to schools with middle to upper middle class populations, NOT to Title I schools or to parents that can’t afford to contribute. They ignore because they can-the party will carry on, either scaled back or funded by the room mom. It’s not right.

I’m amazed at all the comments advocating for no parties. Childhood is about joy...there’s nothing wrong with celebrating life or celebrating holidays.

Op, if pizza is the expectation at your school, scale it back to Costco pizza and mini cupcakes. One dollar store craft, one game. Dollar store tablecloth, one or two balloons.

Unfortunately, you’ll probably have to kick in some money this year as a result of spending more than your budget. But it’s a lesson learned that will carry over if you are ever silly enough to volunteer again


I have been room parent. Didn't enjoy it, but rolled with it. half the parents didn't give money so I worked with the budget I had. The teacher told me to have a pizza money and I said it was not in the budget. Done. I did find when I put up a sign up for some extra snacks, some of the families who didn't give money did give snacks. Awesome.

I always try to be helpful to the room parent giving money and help. I drew the line this year when the PTA told room parents to hound us over who gave to the PTA fundraiser. I refused to answer because it's inappropriate to take names. It was for a contest. Sorry. Nope. I got 4 reminder emails to tell the room parent if I gave money. I understand she was just following PTA orders, but I found it totally tasteless. (For the record I had given $50 to the PTA fund (below requested amount), but I was offended they were taking names even if they weren't asking amounts.) Next year I will give the money to our favorite charity.

Everyone is giving this woman a hard time and I think her heart is in the right place. Unfortunately, not everyone values the same things for their kids I guess..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ and the requests were coming from multiple places: PTA, after school, party fund etc etc. And on a more personal note the room parent tended to get all the benefit of giving the gifts/ parties she used the class money for. Not to mention $135 for pizza pretty pricey.

$135 is insane for pizza. You don't have to give to the PTA. We opt out of the PTA activities after doing them and not seeing the value. I get no benefit except making the kids happy and often I end up supplementing as people don't send in their sign up genius items and often end up paying for the majority of the party.

That weird. Our PTA has added tremendous value. They help the teaches buy supplies that the school doesn't provide (such as kids who come to school with no supplies), provides all of the good technology (computer coding software and refreshed all the computers, and built the playgrounds.

[Anonymous]

I'm a room parent and always do Sign Up Genius for snacks and supplies for any party. I only do one $ collection a year and that is for the teacher end of year gift. We are an affluent community and I would never expect everyone to contribute to pizza - that is ridiculous. PTA is different - that is for overall school enrichment, not individual class parties.

[Anonymous]

I thought of this thread when I signed up to send in 5 containers of sprinkles for the upcoming Valentines Day party. Other people are bring icing and paper plates and napkins and juice boxes. 10 parents have been asked to volunteer to man specific stations. Construction paper and extra glue sticks were requested for making a craft, book marks!

No pizza

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think most of you have never been a room parent. It is a thankless job. One year, I got drafted by the teacher because no one would volunteer to do it.

It is very frustrating to ask for food, material or financial donations and have half the parents ignore you. This refers to schools with middle to upper middle class populations, NOT to Title I schools or to parents that can’t afford to contribute. They ignore because they can-the party will carry on, either scaled back or funded by the room mom. It’s not right.

I’m amazed at all the comments advocating for no parties. Childhood is about joy...there’s nothing wrong with celebrating life or celebrating holidays.

Op, if pizza is the expectation at your school, scale it back to Costco pizza and mini cupcakes. One dollar store craft, one game. Dollar store tablecloth, one or two balloons.

Unfortunately, you’ll probably have to kick in some money this year as a result of spending more than your budget. But it’s a lesson learned that will carry over if you are ever silly enough to volunteer again

Everyone is giving this woman a hard time and I think her heart is in the right place. Unfortunately, not everyone values the same things for their kids I guess..

I will just point out that the majority of posts here have been from room parents so that tells you that not everyone has these issues. It's a thankless job only when you expect a thank you which is not really the point of volunteering, is it? If being a room parent is not for you, just say no. If you can't say no, may I suggest going to see a therapist.

[Anonymous]

Parents used to care. Now everyone is “too busy” and forget. Or just don’t think it is a priority.

But then again, having two working parents that pay others to raise their kids - what do you expect? This is what we all wanted, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I thought of this thread when I signed up to send in 5 containers of sprinkles for the upcoming Valentines Day party. Other people are bring icing and paper plates and napkins and juice boxes. 10 parents have been asked to volunteer to man specific stations. Construction paper and extra glue sticks were requested for making a craft, book marks!

No pizza

That’s not the point. Some parties have pizza. Some don’t. Point is, is someone else steps up to fill a job that helps your family in some way, and you didn’t do anything to help in form the ideas of how things would be formulated (be a co roomparent), then you should pony up and pay even if it isn’t how you’d do a party if you were throwing it bc you didn’t otherwise step up. You don’t like it? Be room parent next time. None of this applies if you really can’t afford it. If you personally (not received a donation) paid $55 for the box of school supplies from the school at the beginning of the year, you can afford to pay.

I’ve been a room parent many times and not a room parent many times. Plenty of times I’ve not liked how others have done a job as room parent or a volunteer job in the pta or a volunteer job at a fundraising event elsewhere. Heck, I didn’t even like once how some of the decisions were made about the scheduling and planning for a family reunion. But If I didn’t step up and volunteer to do the planning - I kept my yapper shut and did what I was told, showed up when asked and paid what was needed. I am room parent and just pay myself. One year (1st grade), the teacher said the kids ran out of notebooks and they needed them for writing. (At the beginning the the year, I asked her what she wanted me to help her with and this was one thing- communicate with parents about school supplies). She asked me to ask the parents to please send in notebooks. I did. She emailed me saying 4 notebooks came in. My kid’s was one of them. I sent 3 emails about it. 10 days later I purchased the notebooks myself. This was in McLean. Gmafb with this lazy ass, cheap ass attitude of non responsiveness.

[Anonymous]

I do pony up. Our teacher asks for something and I see 3-4 parents bringing it in the day the email went out, for example she asked for paper towels and by that afternoon had 4 full packs of paper towels. Our party sign up genuises fill up in about 30 minutes. We have extra parent volunteers. Maybe my sons cohort has really involved parents but I have not seen the teachers not be supported by the parents.

And I would love to volunteer but I cannot miss work often enough to be the room parent. So I make my best effort to send in what is needed. Then again, they are not asking for pizza and elaborate cakes and the like. The kids enjoy the parties, the love the break and the snacks. The parties don’t break the bank. It is a good balance.

But to hear that there are public schools were there are room parents sending out lists of who has abd has not contributed and planning far more elaborate parties is a bit, well, weird. I would expect that behavior at more exclusive private schools.

And it does suck that parents don’t send in notebooks and supplies when asked. Teachers work really hard and the school system does not provide the resources that the teachers need. That is why I do help when I am asked.

Maybe the OP needs to realize that there is a balance. She sounded like one of the pintrest/Martha Stewart types were everything needs to be bigger, better and more fun. Which is great, if you have the money and ability to do it, but really painful if you lack the money or the ability.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parents used to care. Now everyone is “too busy” and forget. Or just don’t think it is a priority.

But then again, having two working parents that pay others to raise their kids - what do you expect? This is what we all wanted, right?

I never knew that having school age kids in school amounted to having other people raise your kids. I guess homeschooling is the only socially acceptable choice in your view?

And I hardly view nor prioritizing nonsense about school parties to be indicative of general disinterest as a parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought of this thread when I signed up to send in 5 containers of sprinkles for the upcoming Valentines Day party. Other people are bring icing and paper plates and napkins and juice boxes. 10 parents have been asked to volunteer to man specific stations. Construction paper and extra glue sticks were requested for making a craft, book marks!

No pizza

That’s not the point. Some parties have pizza. Some don’t. Point is, is someone else steps up to fill a job that helps your family in some way, and you didn’t do anything to help in form the ideas of how things would be formulated (be a co roomparent), then you should pony up and pay even if it isn’t how you’d do a party if you were throwing it bc you didn’t otherwise step up. You don’t like it? Be room parent next time. None of this applies if you really can’t afford it. If you personally (not received a donation) paid $55 for the box of school supplies from the school at the beginning of the year, you can afford to pay.

I’ve been a room parent many times and not a room parent many times. Plenty of times I’ve not liked how others have done a job as room parent or a volunteer job in the pta or a volunteer job at a fundraising event elsewhere. Heck, I didn’t even like once how some of the decisions were made about the scheduling and planning for a family reunion. But If I didn’t step up and volunteer to do the planning - I kept my yapper shut and did what I was told, showed up when asked and paid what was needed. I am room parent and just pay myself. One year (1st grade), the teacher said the kids ran out of notebooks and they needed them for writing. (At the beginning the the year, I asked her what she wanted me to help her with and this was one thing- communicate with parents about school supplies). She asked me to ask the parents to please send in notebooks. I did. She emailed me saying 4 notebooks came in. My kid’s was one of them. I sent 3 emails about it. 10 days later I purchased the notebooks myself. This was in McLean. Gmafb with this lazy ass, cheap ass attitude of non responsiveness.

You really equate the ability to pay for basic school supplies for the ability to pay for extravagant parties? Pretty sad that you don't see the difference between he two.

And you also don't see the difference between an event at a public school v some private institution, a school or otherwise. You don't get to simply decide people should pony up for what you want just because they aren't a room parent. This holds true regardless of whether they are able to afford it or not. It is not your money and you don't get to spend other people's money for a public school event.

You sound like you might just be happier sending our kids to private school, and I am sure other parents in your class would. Maybe they would help pony up for your tuition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought of this thread when I signed up to send in 5 containers of sprinkles for the upcoming Valentines Day party. Other people are bring icing and paper plates and napkins and juice boxes. 10 parents have been asked to volunteer to man specific stations. Construction paper and extra glue sticks were requested for making a craft, book marks!

No pizza

That’s not the point. Some parties have pizza. Some don’t. Point is, is someone else steps up to fill a job that helps your family in some way, and you didn’t do anything to help in form the ideas of how things would be formulated (be a co roomparent), then you should pony up and pay even if it isn’t how you’d do a party if you were throwing it bc you didn’t otherwise step up. You don’t like it? Be room parent next time. None of this applies if you really can’t afford it. If you personally (not received a donation) paid $55 for the box of school supplies from the school at the beginning of the year, you can afford to pay.

I’ve been a room parent many times and not a room parent many times. Plenty of times I’ve not liked how others have done a job as room parent or a volunteer job in the pta or a volunteer job at a fundraising event elsewhere. Heck, I didn’t even like once how some of the decisions were made about the scheduling and planning for a family reunion. But If I didn’t step up and volunteer to do the planning - I kept my yapper shut and did what I was told, showed up when asked and paid what was needed. I am room parent and just pay myself. One year (1st grade), the teacher said the kids ran out of notebooks and they needed them for writing. (At the beginning the the year, I asked her what she wanted me to help her with and this was one thing- communicate with parents about school supplies). She asked me to ask the parents to please send in notebooks. I did. She emailed me saying 4 notebooks came in. My kid’s was one of them. I sent 3 emails about it. 10 days later I purchased the notebooks myself. This was in McLean. Gmafb with this lazy ass, cheap ass attitude of non responsiveness.

You really equate the ability to pay for basic school supplies for the ability to pay for extravagant parties? Pretty sad that you don't see the difference between he two.

And you also don't see the difference between an event at a public school v some private institution, a school or otherwise. You don't get to simply decide people should pony up for what you want just because they aren't a room parent. This holds true regardless of whether they are able to afford it or not. It is not your money and you don't get to spend other people's money for a public school event.

You sound like you might just be happier sending our kids to private school, and I am sure other parents in your class would. Maybe they would help pony up for your tuition.

Please tell me where my post said anything about paying for extravagant parties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought of this thread when I signed up to send in 5 containers of sprinkles for the upcoming Valentines Day party. Other people are bring icing and paper plates and napkins and juice boxes. 10 parents have been asked to volunteer to man specific stations. Construction paper and extra glue sticks were requested for making a craft, book marks!

No pizza

That’s not the point. Some parties have pizza. Some don’t. Point is, is someone else steps up to fill a job that helps your family in some way, and you didn’t do anything to help in form the ideas of how things would be formulated (be a co roomparent), then you should pony up and pay even if it isn’t how you’d do a party if you were throwing it bc you didn’t otherwise step up. You don’t like it? Be room parent next time. None of this applies if you really can’t afford it. If you personally (not received a donation) paid $55 for the box of school supplies from the school at the beginning of the year, you can afford to pay.

I’ve been a room parent many times and not a room parent many times. Plenty of times I’ve not liked how others have done a job as room parent or a volunteer job in the pta or a volunteer job at a fundraising event elsewhere. Heck, I didn’t even like once how some of the decisions were made about the scheduling and planning for a family reunion. But If I didn’t step up and volunteer to do the planning - I kept my yapper shut and did what I was told, showed up when asked and paid what was needed. I am room parent and just pay myself. One year (1st grade), the teacher said the kids ran out of notebooks and they needed them for writing. (At the beginning the the year, I asked her what she wanted me to help her with and this was one thing- communicate with parents about school supplies). She asked me to ask the parents to please send in notebooks. I did. She emailed me saying 4 notebooks came in. My kid’s was one of them. I sent 3 emails about it. 10 days later I purchased the notebooks myself. This was in McLean. Gmafb with this lazy ass, cheap ass attitude of non responsiveness.

You really equate the ability to pay for basic school supplies for the ability to pay for extravagant parties? Pretty sad that you don't see the difference between he two.

And you also don't see the difference between an event at a public school v some private institution, a school or otherwise. You don't get to simply decide people should pony up for what you want just because they aren't a room parent. This holds true regardless of whether they are able to afford it or not. It is not your money and you don't get to spend other people's money for a public school event.

You sound like you might just be happier sending our kids to private school, and I am sure other parents in your class would. Maybe they would help pony up for your tuition.

Please tell me where my post said anything about paying for extravagant parties.

You said people need to pony up, even if it isn't the type of party they want, which in the context of the thread seems like a more elaborate party.

But let's say you were planning a more routine party. Everything I said still applies; you don't get to dictate how people spend their money at a public school.

And I am still waiting for an explanation for why it is reasonable to say that someone has money to blow on school parties because they purchased school supplies.

[Anonymous]

Her post was more focused on people not even sending in notebooks that the teacher asked for never mind party money. And that people should be more willing to help the teachers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Her post was more focused on people not even sending in notebooks that the teacher asked for never mind party money. And that people should be more willing to help the teachers.

This.