Why are so many women here so angry with / resentful toward women who stay home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Boring people get bored. I love my free time and have developed hobbies that engage me and involve others. I could easily play golf 4 days a week and continue triathlon training.

To all of you who have "no idea" what SAHM do all day and think we sit on the couch eating Cheetos ~

Do you plan to never retire? I mean, aren't most dual income families so flush that you are all retiring by 60? At 60 I plan to be pretty spry! I'd hate to be thrust into retirement with no shared passions or interests with my spouse. I can't imagine being a widow with no idea what to do all day. Sounds like a quick road to the retirement home, to me.

(And I'm not talking to all WOHM, just those who seem to be getting pleasure out of pretending we at home have no lives, intellectual stimulation or hobbies).

If you truly can't imagine what you'd do all day I feel badly for you. [/quote

I'm confused, are you retired or staying home to care for kids? Because the first 20 pages of this thread were all about how sah do it all for the kids.

Now the argument is it is all about the leisure time? Where are the kids during such leisure?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boring people get bored. I love my free time and have developed hobbies that engage me and involve others. I could easily play golf 4 days a week and continue triathlon training.

To all of you who have "no idea" what SAHM do all day and think we sit on the couch eating Cheetos ~

Do you plan to never retire? I mean, aren't most dual income families so flush that you are all retiring by 60? At 60 I plan to be pretty spry! I'd hate to be thrust into retirement with no shared passions or interests with my spouse. I can't imagine being a widow with no idea what to do all day. Sounds like a quick road to the retirement home, to me.

(And I'm not talking to all WOHM, just those who seem to be getting pleasure out of pretending we at home have no lives, intellectual stimulation or hobbies).

If you truly can't imagine what you'd do all day I feel badly for you. [/quote

I'm confused, are you retired or staying home to care for kids? Because the first 20 pages of this thread were all about how sah do it all for the kids.

Now the argument is it is all about the leisure time? Where are the kids during such leisure?

school

[Anonymous]

School.

Where will your kids be when you are retired?

Will you crochet and jigsaw puzzle all day like PP? Sounds like death.

[Anonymous]

I see the desperate houswife crew is now trying to hlamourize their life of paddle tennis and planning pta luncheons. I've met you ladies and you are actually boring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:School.

Where will your kids be when you are retired?

Will you crochet and jigsaw puzzle all day like PP? Sounds like death.

who is talking about crocheting and jigsaw puzzles?

I don't like to do those things but if you do, you do you.

[Anonymous]

Working mom here. Look, you ladies are getting pretty ridiculous if you REALLY can't think of ANYTHING interesting or productive to do with your time if you suddenly had the means to quit your jobs, like you won the lotto or inherited a bunch of money from some long lost relative. Come on. I understand why you might be annoyed by some of these posts but doubling down on this particular track is the height of absurdity.

[Anonymous]

So you actually believe that when we are all retired people are going to care about your career? Will you pass out your resume to the other retirees at the beach? I can't imagine being so limited and unengaging that I could declare a huge group of people " boring".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you sound ridiculously defensive - but that's fair enough. I'm talking more about the SAHMs who were like "our first woman president! So proud to take my daughters to vote for her!"

New poster. What is wrong with that? I'm sure it was the same for African Americans to proudly say "my children can vote for the first black man" How is this any different and how is it hyprocritical to think this way? Serious question.. You do know that not every woman or man wants to run for political office. Are you saying if a woman was a lawyer and said what you said it would be ok?

I see nothing wrong with SAHMs happy and excited that their daughters could vote for Hillary.

Please explain the correlation between AAs excited to vote for Obama and white women choosing to live like it's 1850 and excited to vote for a woman who chose a lifestyle closer to what women fought and died for . I'll wait

I am the poster you are quoting. Let me explain very slowly for you: Obama was the first Black president. That was exciting for all those who voted for Obama but, especially for African Americans. Hillary Clinton would have been the first women president and so therefore women ( and some men) were also excited to elect her. It's not that complicated.

Also, Stay at home moms of today are not living in the 1850's. Women have the option to stay at home, go to work, work part time whatever and that is what they couldn't in the 1850's. I can't believe you compared life in the 1850's to today.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boring people get bored. I love my free time and have developed hobbies that engage me and involve others. I could easily play golf 4 days a week and continue triathlon training.

To all of you who have "no idea" what SAHM do all day and think we sit on the couch eating Cheetos ~

Do you plan to never retire? I mean, aren't most dual income families so flush that you are all retiring by 60? At 60 I plan to be pretty spry! I'd hate to be thrust into retirement with no shared passions or interests with my spouse. I can't imagine being a widow with no idea what to do all day. Sounds like a quick road to the retirement home, to me.

(And I'm not talking to all WOHM, just those who seem to be getting pleasure out of pretending we at home have no lives, intellectual stimulation or hobbies).

If you truly can't imagine what you'd do all day I feel badly for you.

yeah this. Leisure time + a lot of money = pretty f***ign nice.

It is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Working mom here. Look, you ladies are getting pretty ridiculous if you REALLY can't think of ANYTHING interesting or productive to do with your time if you suddenly had the means to quit your jobs, like you won the lotto or inherited a bunch of money from some long lost relative. Come on. I understand why you might be annoyed by some of these posts but doubling down on this particular track is the height of absurdity.

Well I did stay home and I prefer to work. Most of the more ambitious moms I know did the same. Hanging out at thr gym all day and planning school fundraisers doesn't make me happy, and it is how most of the sah of older kids I know spend their time. Oh, add in gossiping about other moms, many truly have returned to high school.

Forty years of retirement seems a bit much. I work a compressed schedule and have lots of time to travel with my kids, which I enjoy, I have an interesting job that I enjoy. Having personally experienced being a sah, It wasn't for me. However, if it soumds fabulous to you, I hope you get a chance to try it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Working mom here. Look, you ladies are getting pretty ridiculous if you REALLY can't think of ANYTHING interesting or productive to do with your time if you suddenly had the means to quit your jobs, like you won the lotto or inherited a bunch of money from some long lost relative. Come on. I understand why you might be annoyed by some of these posts but doubling down on this particular track is the height of absurdity.

Well I did stay home and I prefer to work. Most of the more ambitious moms I know did the same. Hanging out at thr gym all day and planning school fundraisers doesn't make me happy, and it is how most of the sah of older kids I know spend their time. Oh, add in gossiping about other moms, many truly have returned to high school.

Forty years of retirement seems a bit much. I work a compressed schedule and have lots of time to travel with my kids, which I enjoy, I have an interesting job that I enjoy. Having personally experienced being a sah, It wasn't for me. However, if it soumds fabulous to you, I hope you get a chance to try it.

The point is, there are other things to do besides being a gym rat or planning school fundraisers. PPs mentioned a few.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Working mom here. Look, you ladies are getting pretty ridiculous if you REALLY can't think of ANYTHING interesting or productive to do with your time if you suddenly had the means to quit your jobs, like you won the lotto or inherited a bunch of money from some long lost relative. Come on. I understand why you might be annoyed by some of these posts but doubling down on this particular track is the height of absurdity.

Well I did stay home and I prefer to work. Most of the more ambitious moms I know did the same. Hanging out at thr gym all day and planning school fundraisers doesn't make me happy, and it is how most of the sah of older kids I know spend their time. Oh, add in gossiping about other moms, many truly have returned to high school.

Forty years of retirement seems a bit much. I work a compressed schedule and have lots of time to travel with my kids, which I enjoy, I have an interesting job that I enjoy. Having personally experienced being a sah, It wasn't for me. However, if it soumds fabulous to you, I hope you get a chance to try it.

The point is, there are other things to do besides being a gym rat or planning school fundraisers. PPs mentioned a few.

Go out to lunch with friends? I can do that and work. Golf? No thanks.

I have seen the reality, most sah mom really do nothing more than take care of kids, volunteer at school, and go to the gym. There really is no hidden glamour. People think it will be as fun as a vacation and then the reality is much different.

Anonymous posters trying to make their life sound perfect don't change the reality. Bit I am glad they are happy with their choice, assuming they truly are.

Last point, it is fun to be fortunate enough to be financially well off even if you are not a sah. Personally. I feel less guilt spending money when I've earned some of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a full career and an advanced degree from a top 10 R1 institution. I have worked in a demanding field for 20 years and am considered a top performer at my company. In two weeks, I will be an independent contractor 15 hours/week with an infant at home and a young elementary child. I never, ever, thought I would do this. I never, ever thought I would want this. I have always joked that working moms and antidepressants are the two major reasons that there are fewer abused children (source: I made it up).

You know what? I'm tired. Our family dynamic/logistics are such that I have the more demanding job and I work more hours, but I also have to cover drop off and doctor's appts. My eldest has some developmental delays and is not an easy child (a good child, a loving child, but a child who needs a lot of her mom and dad). I am exclusively breastfeeding an infant. I am working 50-60 hours/week with wildly inconsistent hours and conference calls all over the world. My husband works in a SCIF and isn't able to WFH or flex his hours the way I can.

Flexing my hours and working from home is hard. IT IS REALLY FREAKING HARD. And I'm tired all the time. And I have a chronic health condition.

We decided that, for what childcare cost, we would be losing 1/4 (not 1/2 despite the fact that DH and I make the same amount) of our monthly income if I resigned. I will be contracting during naps and just enough for me to (1) keep my resume active, (2) talk to adults, (3) enjoy my time with the kids more. I will take on a bit more of the household management than I already do (I do about 65%) and we will cease spending money on all the things we spend money on so we can both keep working.

I am scared out of my mind. I am excited as well. And I don't think my kids will suddenly think that there are no options for moms except for staying home. I have had a full, demanding career in a male-dominated field. My older child knows mommy works and has always worked and has made sacrifices. She is also INCREDIBLY excited that we'll get to spend the summer together.

Nothing is forever. We'll recalibrate in a few years. But I don't resent women who can afford to stay home. I am in awe and I hope to God I'll be good at it because kids are thankless. I get positive feedback all the time at work. Seven year olds don't appreciate your dedication to... well, anything.

You sound cool. Thoughtful about your life and choices. Wish I knew you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:White people problem or 1st World problem? I can not decide.

However, this is the only country in the world where such inane conversations happen. Am I surprised that this level of ignorance and self indulgence spawned Trump? Not really.

Definitely white women problems. I'm AA and the women in my family have always worked, my sister and I are the first women to ever even have the opportunity to stay home and be housewives.

You're all really weird.

+ 1

And next they will start a thread hating Kate Middleton or Kate Upton.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Working mom here. Look, you ladies are getting pretty ridiculous if you REALLY can't think of ANYTHING interesting or productive to do with your time if you suddenly had the means to quit your jobs, like you won the lotto or inherited a bunch of money from some long lost relative. Come on. I understand why you might be annoyed by some of these posts but doubling down on this particular track is the height of absurdity.

It is no doubt fun to have plenty of money. Believe or not, many people are wealthy and work.