Come here if your in laws do weird crap at thanksgiving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids Dad and I are separated. Dad moved across the country. Today I took my kids to his family’s belated Thanksgiving gathering, and they invited me to stay.

They did the thing where you go around the table and say what you are thank you for. One of my kids shared that he was thankful his Dad is coming for Christmas. His aunt told him that that’s weird since the separation was his fault.

Was she saying it was the child's fault or the Dad's fault?

She was blaming the child.

:shock: What is the story here?!

My husband developed mental illness, and became explosive and abusive. When he targeted one of my kids, I left.

Sounds like it runs in his family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m team MIL rottisorie chicken - and I’m so very rarely team MIL anything. What an odd thing to get worked up about.

Rotisserie chicken complainer must be like my in-laws. They awkwardly hold sandwiches with napkins because their hands are dirty and insist on completely peeled potatoes because potatoes are dirty. Fried chicken night has everyone eating with knife and fork, so most of the meat gets thrown out.

I don’t understand the horror of this one either. Assuming she washed her hands, how is this different than handling any other food you serve? Whenever you eat a cut up fruit platter or sandwich or salad etc. prepared at home, someone has presumably handled it with their bare hands. I don’t know of anyone wearing gloves on a routine basis to handle food for family — that is what hand washing is for.

I find it odd people wouldn’t complain about a bagel or ham sandwich someone has touched with their hands, but chicken is somehow a bridge too far … because bare hands are different on rotisserie chickens somehow?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I’m pregnant and the smell of coffee makes me nauseous. They know this. Of course I’ve just dealt with it in the mornings, because I get that people want coffee, but DH has been opening the windows and has made sure to clean up as soon as possible to minimize the smell.

DH and I were just both upstairs helping older DD with bath/preparing for bed time, and MIL brewed a pot of coffee without asking or without warning. I’m currently gagging.

Thanks, MIL. This one time you couldn’t just skip a cup of coffee with leftover pie. Just this once, you couldn’t skip it.

This is a you problem, of course people want to drink coffee, even more coffee than usual at social gatherings. Put something scented under your nose or chew peppermint gum. I can't imagine seriously feeling it would be appropriate to expect others not to make coffee, nevermind making a big production out of others making coffee. Not reasonable at all.

Sorry but I agree. She was probably waiting for you to go upstairs thinking it would be far enough away from you not to affect your smell. People really love their coffee and some people need a pick me up in the late afternoon. I feel for you since I had three rough pregnancies with daily vomiting, but I’m team MIL on this one.

NP and disagree. The PP was being flexible by understanding that people were gonna want coffee in the morning. They could have met her halfway by skipping it at dessert. I would never be that selfish with family.

Coffee with dessert is an absolute in my family. Asking them to omit coffee after dinner would be like asking everyone to skip turkey for thanksgiving.

There is no tradition that is more important than my hosts’ comfort. If my hostess was pregnant, we’d have dessert and go out for coffee if we “had to” have coffee.

Ugh. So tired of dramatic people who want everyone around them to treat pregnancy as a disability.

+1

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Re: MIL chicken. Cant believe so many of you are sticking up for MIL? I assume you’re ok with people double dipping then? Or sticking their grubby paws in the bowl of chips or crackers instead of using tongs? You people are wild.

You can break apart a rotisserie chicken with a fork and knives. I do it all the time to serve it to my own family. I would never tear it up like a raccoon unless I was the only one eating it.

You are missing a ton of meat that way. I don’t get what’s so confusing to you about clean hands. THEY ARE CLEAN. This is how you remove ALL the meat from a cooked bird.

NP. I don’t know about you, but when I serve a roast chicken or a roast turkey, my goal for the first meal enjoyed by my guests is not “get all this meat off the bone, now.” It is “I’m going to nicely carve and present more than enough meat for this particular meal.”

Then, later, I will wash my hands, remove all the meat from the carcass, and store it for future use. I don’t tear apart a chicken as my guests are waiting for dinner.

Well for starters, I don't serve company a store bought rotisserie chicken that cost $6 in the first place. But yes, when I do buy rotisserie chicken, we use every last bit. First, as carved chicken. Then we use breast slices for sandwiches the next day. Then we get the remaining meat off to use for soups and casseroles. Then we make stock. I'm not at all surprised though that young parents today slice some breast meat off and chuck the rest into the trash with their empty starbucks cups and Cava bowls.

OMG. How old are you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:BIL brings all his junk mail, catalogs, and old magazines to go through at my house. We are talking armloads, months worth! Not a big deal except all my trash cans are overfilled now with this heavy paper. I mean, doesn't he realize that I now have to empty the trash cans? Well, he does now. I am asking for his help.

I hope you mean “recycling bin,” PP. He’s very rude, but so are you if you aren’t prompting him to RECYCLE these items.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids Dad and I are separated. Dad moved across the country. Today I took my kids to his family’s belated Thanksgiving gathering, and they invited me to stay.

They did the thing where you go around the table and say what you are thank you for. One of my kids shared that he was thankful his Dad is coming for Christmas. His aunt told him that that’s weird since the separation was his fault.

Was she saying it was the child's fault or the Dad's fault?

She was blaming the child.

I hope you stood up and left immediately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids Dad and I are separated. Dad moved across the country. Today I took my kids to his family’s belated Thanksgiving gathering, and they invited me to stay.

They did the thing where you go around the table and say what you are thank you for. One of my kids shared that he was thankful his Dad is coming for Christmas. His aunt told him that that’s weird since the separation was his fault.

Was she saying it was the child's fault or the Dad's fault?

She was blaming the child.

I hope you stood up and left immediately.

No, her family stood up for my kid and she ended up leaving in a huff. The rest of them are good people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Re: MIL chicken. Cant believe so many of you are sticking up for MIL? I assume you’re ok with people double dipping then? Or sticking their grubby paws in the bowl of chips or crackers instead of using tongs? You people are wild.

You can break apart a rotisserie chicken with a fork and knives. I do it all the time to serve it to my own family. I would never tear it up like a raccoon unless I was the only one eating it.

You are missing a ton of meat that way. I don’t get what’s so confusing to you about clean hands. THEY ARE CLEAN. This is how you remove ALL the meat from a cooked bird.

NP. I don’t know about you, but when I serve a roast chicken or a roast turkey, my goal for the first meal enjoyed by my guests is not “get all this meat off the bone, now.” It is “I’m going to nicely carve and present more than enough meat for this particular meal.”

Then, later, I will wash my hands, remove all the meat from the carcass, and store it for future use. I don’t tear apart a chicken as my guests are waiting for dinner.

Well for starters, I don't serve company a store bought rotisserie chicken that cost $6 in the first place. But yes, when I do buy rotisserie chicken, we use every last bit. First, as carved chicken. Then we use breast slices for sandwiches the next day. Then we get the remaining meat off to use for soups and casseroles. Then we make stock. I'm not at all surprised though that young parents today slice some breast meat off and chuck the rest into the trash with their empty starbucks cups and Cava bowls.

OMG. How old are you?

Too accurate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids Dad and I are separated. Dad moved across the country. Today I took my kids to his family’s belated Thanksgiving gathering, and they invited me to stay.

They did the thing where you go around the table and say what you are thank you for. One of my kids shared that he was thankful his Dad is coming for Christmas. His aunt told him that that’s weird since the separation was his fault.

Was she saying it was the child's fault or the Dad's fault?

She was blaming the child.

I hope you stood up and left immediately.

No, her family stood up for my kid and she ended up leaving in a huff. The rest of them are good people.

I like that ending even better than the suggestion of you getting up and leaving. Your in-laws (except the aunt) rock, and you are a very strong person for how you've protected your kids. Way to go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:FIL would floss his teeth at the table with a credit card after a meal (we already ate out). Miss that man. He was a hoot.

He must have had a lot of space between his teeth. I don't think I could even fit a business card between any of mine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:BIL brings all his junk mail, catalogs, and old magazines to go through at my house. We are talking armloads, months worth! Not a big deal except all my trash cans are overfilled now with this heavy paper. I mean, doesn't he realize that I now have to empty the trash cans? Well, he does now.

Why? Why does he bring his junk mail, catalogs, and old magazines to your house? I can't fathom why someone would do this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:BIL brings all his junk mail, catalogs, and old magazines to go through at my house. We are talking armloads, months worth! Not a big deal except all my trash cans are overfilled now with this heavy paper. I mean, doesn't he realize that I now have to empty the trash cans? Well, he does now.

Why? Why does he bring his junk mail, catalogs, and old magazines to your house? I can't fathom why someone would do this.

He sits on our couch and looks through everything for hours—there’s huge piles in the guest room after he unloads the car, but he keeps to himself pretty much and is pleasant. It’s just odd.

[Anonymous]

We made ALL the food…turkey, potatoes, stuffing, cranberry sauce, rolls, salad, as well as several appetizers, and 3 desserts-pumpkin pie, brownies, and a cake…for 7 people and brought it over to my in laws’ house. They asked what they could do/get and we said “just cover beverages! We’ve got everything else.” They bought one container of egg nog and 1 bottle of sparkling cider and otherwise the options were water and coffee.

They are wonderful people and I love them dearly but they are not good at this type of thing. Next time we’ll be more specific

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Mine get up early and run 5k with a bunch of other people. Weirdos.

We have about 40-60 people over at 9am for yoga and then brunch. Everyone leaves by noon, unless they've been invited for Thanksgiving dinner. Then around 3pm a new wave of people come for Thanksgiving.

Weird flex. What does this have to do with your in-laws (title of the thread)?

NP how is that a “flex.” What does that mean. Explain it to me like I am five.

If you have enough space and money to host 50 people for breakfast, that is quite the flex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH just told MIL for the third time that no, we won’t be putting food on the table and passing. We’ll be serving it buffet-style from the island. She’s fighting her on this and he finally said, “No one wants to pass and pass and monitor what each other is or is not eating. We all just want to make a plate and eat.” Which has always been MY argument for hating family-style service.

(Nelson voice Ha ha!

We moved to buffet style, too. And as a result my mom can no longer plate monitor and drive everyone crazy pointing out what they had yet to touch. “Jim, there’s sweet potatoes. Do you like sweet potatoes? Would you like to try the sweet potatoes?”

omg this is my mother in law. maddening. "Marla, Larla (age 16) can see all the options available, she's allowed to pick and choose what she wants to eat. Please leave her alone."