Come here if your in laws do weird crap at thanksgiving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids Dad and I are separated. Dad moved across the country. Today I took my kids to his family’s belated Thanksgiving gathering, and they invited me to stay.

They did the thing where you go around the table and say what you are thank you for. One of my kids shared that he was thankful his Dad is coming for Christmas. His aunt told him that that’s weird since the separation was his fault.

Was she saying it was the child's fault or the Dad's fault?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids Dad and I are separated. Dad moved across the country. Today I took my kids to his family’s belated Thanksgiving gathering, and they invited me to stay.

They did the thing where you go around the table and say what you are thank you for. One of my kids shared that he was thankful his Dad is coming for Christmas. His aunt told him that that’s weird since the separation was his fault.

Was she saying it was the child's fault or the Dad's fault?

She was blaming the child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH just told MIL for the third time that no, we won’t be putting food on the table and passing. We’ll be serving it buffet-style from the island. She’s fighting her on this and he finally said, “No one wants to pass and pass and monitor what each other is or is not eating. We all just want to make a plate and eat.” Which has always been MY argument for hating family-style service.

(Nelson voice Ha ha!

We moved to buffet style, too. And as a result my mom can no longer plate monitor and drive everyone crazy pointing out what they had yet to touch. “Jim, there’s sweet potatoes. Do you like sweet potatoes? Would you like to try the sweet potatoes?”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids Dad and I are separated. Dad moved across the country. Today I took my kids to his family’s belated Thanksgiving gathering, and they invited me to stay.

They did the thing where you go around the table and say what you are thank you for. One of my kids shared that he was thankful his Dad is coming for Christmas. His aunt told him that that’s weird since the separation was his fault.

Was she saying it was the child's fault or the Dad's fault?

She was blaming the child.

What is the story here?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH just told MIL for the third time that no, we won’t be putting food on the table and passing. We’ll be serving it buffet-style from the island. She’s fighting her on this and he finally said, “No one wants to pass and pass and monitor what each other is or is not eating. We all just want to make a plate and eat.” Which has always been MY argument for hating family-style service.

(Nelson voice Ha ha!

Nice! My MIL also refuses to understand that passing family style is no longer a popular way of serving. And I agree that one of the main motivations for old people liking it is that they like to see who is taking what and how much.

DP. Interesting take and maybe that’s it. My parents are huge into family style and my dad recently asked when the grandkids, my kids, would be old enough to serve meals like this. My kids are in middle and high school. They can’t comprehend that we don’t put it all on the table to be passed around, even when I explain there’s not room on the table with everyone over and easier to have a buffet.

Perhaps it’s a way to force everyone to interact. So, if you really can’t stand your gravy-pushin’ MIL but you’d like gravy for the dried out turkey meat, or you’d like butter, or some beans, you’re now going to have to ask her the first question you’ve asked her in three years. And she’s just gonna love the attention and act like she’s passing you the secret to eternal youth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids Dad and I are separated. Dad moved across the country. Today I took my kids to his family’s belated Thanksgiving gathering, and they invited me to stay.

They did the thing where you go around the table and say what you are thank you for. One of my kids shared that he was thankful his Dad is coming for Christmas. His aunt told him that that’s weird since the separation was his fault.

Was she saying it was the child's fault or the Dad's fault?

She was blaming the child.

What is the story here?!

My husband developed mental illness, and became explosive and abusive. When he targeted one of my kids, I left.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I married into an extremely competitive family that does a family 10k (as they say, 5k is for the lazy people) the Saturday after Thanksgiving. My DH, his brothers, cousins, his dad all talk smack in the preceding days on who will win. I normally sit it out and hang with his mom who is actually a doll.

Well this year I said, I’ll join. I ran cross country in college, but of course no one really knew I was good (or paid attention). We started the race and I let the men take the lead, then in back half smoked them. I beat all of them by 10+ minutes.

Today I’m basking in the win and their bafflement that they didn’t win. Maybe I just killed the tradition. Maybe that was my goal.

You are my hero.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids Dad and I are separated. Dad moved across the country. Today I took my kids to his family’s belated Thanksgiving gathering, and they invited me to stay.

They did the thing where you go around the table and say what you are thank you for. One of my kids shared that he was thankful his Dad is coming for Christmas. His aunt told him that that’s weird since the separation was his fault.

Was she saying it was the child's fault or the Dad's fault?

She was blaming the child.

What is the story here?!

My husband developed mental illness, and became explosive and abusive. When he targeted one of my kids, I left.

Good for you! Sending you positive energy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids Dad and I are separated. Dad moved across the country. Today I took my kids to his family’s belated Thanksgiving gathering, and they invited me to stay.

They did the thing where you go around the table and say what you are thank you for. One of my kids shared that he was thankful his Dad is coming for Christmas. His aunt told him that that’s weird since the separation was his fault.

Was she saying it was the child's fault or the Dad's fault?

She was blaming the child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m pregnant and the smell of coffee makes me nauseous. They know this. Of course I’ve just dealt with it in the mornings, because I get that people want coffee, but DH has been opening the windows and has made sure to clean up as soon as possible to minimize the smell.

DH and I were just both upstairs helping older DD with bath/preparing for bed time, and MIL brewed a pot of coffee without asking or without warning. I’m currently gagging.

Thanks, MIL. This one time you couldn’t just skip a cup of coffee with leftover pie. Just this once, you couldn’t skip it.

This is a you problem, of course people want to drink coffee, even more coffee than usual at social gatherings. Put something scented under your nose or chew peppermint gum. I can't imagine seriously feeling it would be appropriate to expect others not to make coffee, nevermind making a big production out of others making coffee. Not reasonable at all.

Sorry but I agree. She was probably waiting for you to go upstairs thinking it would be far enough away from you not to affect your smell. People really love their coffee and some people need a pick me up in the late afternoon. I feel for you since I had three rough pregnancies with daily vomiting, but I’m team MIL on this one.

NP and disagree. The PP was being flexible by understanding that people were gonna want coffee in the morning. They could have met her halfway by skipping it at dessert. I would never be that selfish with family.

Coffee with dessert is an absolute in my family. Asking them to omit coffee after dinner would be like asking everyone to skip turkey for thanksgiving.

There is no tradition that is more important than my hosts’ comfort. If my hostess was pregnant, we’d have dessert and go out for coffee if we “had to” have coffee.

Ugh. So tired of dramatic people who want everyone around them to treat pregnancy as a disability.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH just told MIL for the third time that no, we won’t be putting food on the table and passing. We’ll be serving it buffet-style from the island. She’s fighting her on this and he finally said, “No one wants to pass and pass and monitor what each other is or is not eating. We all just want to make a plate and eat.” Which has always been MY argument for hating family-style service.

(Nelson voice Ha ha!

We moved to buffet style, too. And as a result my mom can no longer plate monitor and drive everyone crazy pointing out what they had yet to touch. “Jim, there’s sweet potatoes. Do you like sweet potatoes? Would you like to try the sweet potatoes?”

Brilliant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I married into an extremely competitive family that does a family 10k (as they say, 5k is for the lazy people) the Saturday after Thanksgiving. My DH, his brothers, cousins, his dad all talk smack in the preceding days on who will win. I normally sit it out and hang with his mom who is actually a doll.

Well this year I said, I’ll join. I ran cross country in college, but of course no one really knew I was good (or paid attention). We started the race and I let the men take the lead, then in back half smoked them. I beat all of them by 10+ minutes.

Today I’m basking in the win and their bafflement that they didn’t win. Maybe I just killed the tradition. Maybe that was my goal.

Legend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids Dad and I are separated. Dad moved across the country. Today I took my kids to his family’s belated Thanksgiving gathering, and they invited me to stay.

They did the thing where you go around the table and say what you are thank you for. One of my kids shared that he was thankful his Dad is coming for Christmas. His aunt told him that that’s weird since the separation was his fault.

Was she saying it was the child's fault or the Dad's fault?

She was blaming the child.

This is a real bummer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My in laws are just bizarrely quiet. Nothing seems to go on in their heads.
The whole Thanksgiving conversation consists of "Could you pass the X." Which is another thing in and of itself (the annoying family style serving.) And a few comments on what the kids aren't eating.
We tried bringing up the kids' report cards, our upcoming travel, their travel last month, weddings in their family...all go over like lead balloons. Also my father is in the hospital but they didn't feel the need to ask about him.
Depressing that I married into this family.

I will trade you. Oh my goodness, the noise, noise, noise, noise. They don’t know how to spend even a minute in companionable silence. Sitting in a circle and forced chatting. I just go upstairs when I can’t handle it. Nonstop chatter, intrusive questions, droning on endlessly about people NO ONE ELSE IN THE ROOM has ever met.

Same. Mine talk to me about their sex life. I don't want to hear anything about any old people sex, it's truly disgusting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I married into an extremely competitive family that does a family 10k (as they say, 5k is for the lazy people) the Saturday after Thanksgiving. My DH, his brothers, cousins, his dad all talk smack in the preceding days on who will win. I normally sit it out and hang with his mom who is actually a doll.

Well this year I said, I’ll join. I ran cross country in college, but of course no one really knew I was good (or paid attention). We started the race and I let the men take the lead, then in back half smoked them. I beat all of them by 10+ minutes.

Today I’m basking in the win and their bafflement that they didn’t win. Maybe I just killed the tradition. Maybe that was my goal.

Legend.

Seriously! PP, I love you. That is epic!