MIL driving me CRAZY
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Anonymous
| My MIL and FIL live 2 hours away and they get one weekend a month off from work so have started texting me the past two months asking to come down those weekends. Now given it's mid summer, things have been extremely busy. In July when she wanted to come, we were just returning from Hawaii with our 13 month old, so I said no, next time. She's so hyper, and I knew it was going to take days to get my son back on his schedule, plus my house was messy and I didn't want to have to deal with entertaining them. It is not relaxing when they are around, at least, not with my MIL. SHe wants to talk for hours and play with my son, and then she whines when he's napping and she can't play with him. She's basically crazy. She texted me last night asking to come the second week in august when my husband, her son, is away with his guys for their annual golfing trip. So I told my husband...he said maybe they can just come sat afternoon - sunday. So I texted her back and told her my husband is out of town, she wrote back asking if my son and I would be here. Then I kind of lied and wrote her back, and told her we would all be away and suggested they come another weekend. She apparently texted my husband also asking the same question, he asked if I had gotten back to her. I told him I told her I was busy and to come another weekend. He got sort of offended and reminded me they ONLY have one saturday off per month and that I should suck it up. Frankly I don't think that I owe entertaining his parents when he is off golfing with his buddies for 4 days!! I like to spend time with my son and take him out places, and it would be really awkward having his parents stay here when he's not here. His mother is hard to communicate with, and she stresses me out. They are from a different culture, please note, but this isn't why. She just drives me nuts, and I need my down time when my husband is away, and my son needs his too!! So I'm not sure what to do.l I don't want to argue with my husband and offend him, but I don't feel that I am obligated. I shouldn't have to agree they can come that one weekend when the FIL does not have to work. My SIL lives 30 miles away, not sure why they can't stay with her. I could say that I have company, but it's not my place to tell them they need to stay with his sister. Clearly they only want to come and see my son, their grandson. But without my husband here, it's awkward. I am not really close to them, though they want to be. MIL drives me NUTS- she is anything but relaxing, need I say more. Then I have to manage things. And given she's never even offered to change a diaper I'm not going to dump him off on them. I'm not that kind of mom. |
Anonymous
| I can't read this block of crap, but I got halfway through and it sounds like one weekend a month isn't too much to ask for you ILs to see your kids and you are an idiot for lying to your MIL. |
Anonymous
| The grandparents want to visit once a month and this drives you crazy? You should seek some professional help to learn to deal with life. |
Anonymous
| I think they should come sometime that your husband will be there. Taking care of a kid alone is stressful. I wouldn't want to toss entertaining inlaws on top of that. |
Anonymous
| They can come when their son is there. If he is busy golfing, then they can come in September. |
Anonymous
| One week end a month is a lot if you have to suffer with annoying inlaws. |
Anonymous
| Are they on a regular schedule--i.e., 2nd Sat of month off, or every 4 weeks? If so, then write it on the calendar and make plans around it at least some of the time...so 2 vacations in 2 consecutive months won't overlap with their only chance to visit. If this is really the only time they have, it seems like planning to accomodate them at least some months would be considerate. |
Anonymous
|
They come when their son is there. How would your husband feel if he had to entertain your parents for a weekend while you were partying in Vegas for a girls trip.
In the future, go out with your husband while they visit. If you don't trust them for long periods of time alone then go out during nap or after bedtime. Let your MIL have alone time with your son- do the laundry, read a book. Don't engage her in conversation if you don't want to. Where is your husband during the weekends? |
Anonymous
| OP, if they live only 2 hours away, why can't they come down Saturday morning and leave Saturday night. That way they are only there for the day. |
Anonymous
| OP, when your baby gets older, send your DH with your son there for the day. This way you won't have to see your MIL. My DC is 2 and I never come to the weekly outings with MIL anymore. |
Anonymous
| You absolutely can tell ILs that they can't stay at your house, and they should find other sleeping arrangements. They can choose to stay withSIL or hotel, or maybe they won't think it's worth it to come if they can't stay with you. |
Anonymous
| Let them come. Go shopping and out to dinner wth girlfriends while they watch your child. They sound like losing grandparents. |
Anonymous
| I feel bad for them. Your Dh should take your son over to them and you should stay home alone. Why would your I laws want to be near you. |
Anonymous
Yes, would your DH host your parents while you were away having fun? Doubtful. I agree with PP who said to get your in-laws weekends off written on your calendar. What do they do for work that means they only have one weekend off a month? Can they visit overnight during the week instead sometime in August? |
Anonymous
| Re-submit with paragraphs please. |