MIL driving me CRAZY

[Anonymous]

you don't know anything about family relationship..,so selfish, your son will miss the joy of having grandparents. they seem well educated to ask you if they can come...they should just estrange you..you do not respect your husband's feelings. think it twice some day you will be the one rejected

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks to those of you who posted constructive feedback, to those of you who posted insulting comments, YOU all should get a life and stop hating on people and being opinionated. You do NOT understand my situation so don't judge. Keep your rude comments to yourselves.

Hahahahahaha!

[Anonymous]

My MIL does the same thing with DC's naps - tries to block them, gets her all amped up right before them, complains when DC's asleep, keeps shaking toys in her face and singing "just one more song" in the car when she's trying to sleep in her carseat, etc. My kid is exhausted during their visits. I constant have to be the heavy since DH won't say boo even though he agrees she needs to sleep. Much better to let me be the bad guy!

I think a weekend a month is a lot too. Every other month sounds more appropriate. This time around, just say, "sorry, DH is out of town that weekend and I have plans with friends and the kids, so let's plan for the month after. Oct. 5-8, right? We'll show you the kids' Halloween costumes and go on a hayride! Looking forward to it! Buh-bye." And make sure your DH is around and doesn't skip out on it again leaving you to hold the bag.

[Anonymous]

OP, as someone with incredibly pushy in-laws who would be here every weekend if I'd let them, I agree that once a month is quite often. I also do not think that you should have to entertain your ILs while DH is away. My MIL would pull crap like that too.

My MIL was incessantly texting and calling me for about a year. I finally stopped answering her texts, other than to direct her to DH. They're his parents - he should deal with them. He does not speak to mine via text or phone, why should I be harassed by his?

[Anonymous]

OP, it isn't wrong to want them to come when your husband is there. If she drives you crazy, there is no reason you should bear that burden, particularly when your husband is off on his own vacation. It's ridiculously selfish of him to suggest otherwise.

They can wait another month. And then figure out with your husband what you both would like in terms of visit frequency and duration. I'd be pissed if I had to give up one whole weekend a month, every month, with no end in sight. But I'd see them one day of one weekend a month, or go there other times, just with a shorter duration. But, I"m not you and only you and husband can decide what works for you.

Ignore all of the glitter-shitting unicorns who say that you should suck it up for the grandparents and your husband. I'm sure they'd say the same if you said you didn't want to cook your husband dinner every night and then rub his feet while giving him a blow job. After all, that's what a wife is for, right, to make sacrifices?

[Anonymous]

Don't know if your MIL is crazy, OP, but your write-up certainly makes me think you are. Your DH clearly married a woman just like his mother. Some men go for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you may need some perspective. It is awesome that your IL's want to visit and spend time with their grandson AND are willing to come to you. I have in-laws who have only been to visit us twice in the last 3 years. Anytime we want our kids to spend time with them, we have to drive to their house (they are both retired, so there is lots of flexibility in their schedule). So, imagine all of the stress you feel with them visiting you, and instead imagine having to pack formula, diapers, clothes, etc and then have your baby sleeping in a strange place and completely off his schedule. This arrangeent with them visiting you sounds great to me!!

As for them coming while your DH is away, I agree with PP who said that you should schedule yourself a night out with your girlfriends. Or, schedule yourself a massage and/or hair appointment. Your MIL wants time with her grandson (let's be honest, she's not coming to hang out with you) and you want to decompress while DH is away. It's a win-win.

I completely agree. My IL's rarely come either because my FIL is significantly overweight and finds it uncomfortable to travel. He is also definitely a huge pain to deal with. When they visit, he has MIL rearrange the furniture in our downstairs, sends us out on errands for random things (a diet lemon-lime soda like a sprite, maybe a fresca, plus some apples, and also some oatmeal raisin cookies but no nuts), and is a hugely picky eater. He also takes over the remote control, which doesn't bother me so much but drives DH crazy. All of these things are annoying and I'd rather not deal with them, BUT my MIL loves spending time with DD and the feeling is definitely mutual. I think grandparent relationships are so valuable and would love to have them come visit more often. If they did, perhaps we would start setting some boundaries/ground rules (i.e., when you move our furniture, put it BACK when you're done with whatever it is you're doing), and maybe that's something you could try, OP.