MIL driving me CRAZY

[Anonymous]

I think you may need some perspective. It is awesome that your IL's want to visit and spend time with their grandson AND are willing to come to you. I have in-laws who have only been to visit us twice in the last 3 years. Anytime we want our kids to spend time with them, we have to drive to their house (they are both retired, so there is lots of flexibility in their schedule). So, imagine all of the stress you feel with them visiting you, and instead imagine having to pack formula, diapers, clothes, etc and then have your baby sleeping in a strange place and completely off his schedule. This arrangeent with them visiting you sounds great to me!!

As for them coming while your DH is away, I agree with PP who said that you should schedule yourself a night out with your girlfriends. Or, schedule yourself a massage and/or hair appointment. Your MIL wants time with her grandson (let's be honest, she's not coming to hang out with you) and you want to decompress while DH is away. It's a win-win.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The grandparents want to visit once a month and this drives you crazy? You should seek some professional help to learn to deal with life.

Once a month for an entire weekend vs once a month for an afternoon sounds like a lot, frankly, and expecting the DIL to entertain ILs who drive her nuts is a bit much too.

That said, I am sure the ILs are tired of hearing no. Do they know the weekends in advance so you can make firm plans for one? Can DH take a day off during the week when they are free? Could MIL come on her own when FIL is working?

And is he working the whole weekend or just Saturday, because if Sunday is free that distance is short enough they could do a day trip.

[Anonymous]

I have a friend whose MIL visits every week (1.5 hrs away) to babysit so DIL can get nails done, spend time with friends or whatever. DIL and MIL can't stand each other but the system works well for child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend whose MIL visits every week (1.5 hrs away) to babysit so DIL can get nails done, spend time with friends or whatever. DIL and MIL can't stand each other but the system works well for child.

My MIL would never do that for us. Upon meeting our first born at 6 weeks she immediately announced she would never change a diaper. She also made us drive 2.5 hrs away to come to her at her brother's house. I had a rough c-section recovery and had to pump every 2 hrs. It's always about what is convenient for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel bad for them. Your Dh should take your son over to them and you should stay home alone. Why would your I laws want to be near you.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Congratulations, OP! You are the Asshole's Asshole.

[Anonymous]

Why is your MIL calling/texting you about this? She should be doing it through your DH. I don't blame you for not wanting to hang out with them but it's not unreasonable for them to want to come visit once a month. You'll need to establish boundaries - like not entertaining them but I'm sure you can find something to do around the house that can best be done when you don't have to keep an eye on your DS.

[Anonymous]

PARAGRAPHS. That is all. Carry on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend whose MIL visits every week (1.5 hrs away) to babysit so DIL can get nails done, spend time with friends or whatever. DIL and MIL can't stand each other but the system works well for child.

My MIL would never do that for us. Upon meeting our first born at 6 weeks she immediately announced she would never change a diaper. She also made us drive 2.5 hrs away to come to her at her brother's house. I had a rough c-section recovery and had to pump every 2 hrs. It's always about what is convenient for her.

You're a doormat. I would never drive that far while healing. Why didn't you or H refuse?

[Anonymous]

When my in-laws visit, which they just did for a week, I remind myself it's not about me. My son is so lucky to have grandparents who love him, I try to keep that in perspective. If they're annoying me, I look at my son to see if he seems bothered, about 99% of the time he's not...oftentimes he's loving it. Maybe this approach would work for you? I also agree with the previous posters...tell them to have fun with baby, remind them of the schedule and head for some downtime. My time with DS is precious, but once I'm out doing something relaxing, it's fun. And they can't do too much damage to schedules and eating in one day. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Just deal with it OP, I do.

[Anonymous]

Thanks to those of you who posted constructive feedback, to those of you who posted insulting comments, YOU all should get a life and stop hating on people and being opinionated. You do NOT understand my situation so don't judge. Keep your rude comments to yourselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend whose MIL visits every week (1.5 hrs away) to babysit so DIL can get nails done, spend time with friends or whatever. DIL and MIL can't stand each other but the system works well for child.

My MIL would never do that for us. Upon meeting our first born at 6 weeks she immediately announced she would never change a diaper. She also made us drive 2.5 hrs away to come to her at her brother's house. I had a rough c-section recovery and had to pump every 2 hrs. It's always about what is convenient for her.

No, she didn't. You chose to do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks to those of you who posted constructive feedback, to those of you who posted insulting comments, YOU all should get a life and stop hating on people and being opinionated. You do NOT understand my situation so don't judge. Keep your rude comments to yourselves.

We should stop hating on people?! We learned from i , you. Frankly, I cannot begin to understand why anyone would voluntarily spend any amount of time with you. Your MIL deserves a medal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks to those of you who posted constructive feedback, to those of you who posted insulting comments, YOU all should get a life and stop hating on people and being opinionated. You do NOT understand my situation so don't judge. Keep your rude comments to yourselves.

We should stop hating on people?! We learned from i , you. Frankly, I cannot begin to understand why anyone would voluntarily spend any amount of time with you. Your MIL deserves a medal.

PP, back off. You don't know what it's like. OP shared that MIL whines the whole time while the baby is napping that she can't play with him. That alone would make me crazy.