Thinking about female friendship lately

[Anonymous]

What, to you, makes a really good female friend? Let's inspire each other!

[Anonymous]

Someone willing to get off there ass and visit (if they live far away), or meet in the middle. Someone who returns phone calls and emails.
Basically, someone who demonstrates that they are invested in the friendship. I am finding that as my friends have kids, it's getting more and more difficult to find those types.

[Anonymous]

good listener
willing to give and receive constructive criticism
funny as hell

[Anonymous]

tells you if they are mad at you and why.

i have a friend who recently wanted to reconnect after a year of passive aggressive behavior and snubbing me. i emailed her if she was ok, if she was mad at me... never heard back. till now, 8 months later. i don't have the heart to pick up the phone and call her....

makes an effort

gives it to you straight

there for you

appreciates it when you are there for her

[Anonymous]

I agree with willing to travel, but a good friend also recognizes when to back off and let the other friend breathe. All of my friends are having babies, getting phd's, working crazy. There is no time right now and good friends get that and do what they can and do not get passive-aggressive angry.

That being said, I meet my one good friend for a girls getaway EVERY year. Last year, Vegas. This year, Napa. Last year, I brought my breast pump. This year, she brings hers!

[Anonymous]

i've learned over time that friendships come and some do go. people change and sometimes they aren't the right "match". it's much like dating. it's ok if someone is not the right person in your life..

[Anonymous]

do your friends need to be similar to you? for example if you are thin, happily married, and educated, will a friendship with someone who is obese, single, and not as well educated work? if they are similar, there is less jealously, more relating... i don't know just a random thought.

[Anonymous]

Someone who "gets" you, can laugh with you, and is kind to you.

A really good friend is someone I'm comfortable spilling my guts to without worrying about judgement and who just gives love back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:do your friends need to be similar to you? for example if you are thin, happily married, and educated, will a friendship with someone who is obese, single, and not as well educated work? if they are similar, there is less jealously, more relating... i don't know just a random thought.

That's a pretty superficial way of looking at things. To suggest that you'd get along well with everyone who is just like you, in the looks, relationship, education department is absurd.

What matters to me are core values, goals, and similarities regarding life and future. For instance, I was friends with someone who was well educated, thin, and married with children (just like me) but we ended our friendship because she and I did not see eye to eye on how to raise our kids.

[Anonymous]

A PP said: "A really good friend is someone I'm comfortable spilling my guts to without worrying about judgement and who just gives love back."

That is so true. I often think of the saying, "A friend is someone who knows your faults, but loves you anyway."

[Anonymous]

What if I'm a little overweight, not as pretty, not as educated, and make far less money than you ? Could you still be my friend ?

[Anonymous]

I am tall and thin, my good buddy is short and chubby. We both have a good time together. She is not sneaky. That is the most important thing to me.

[Anonymous]

Some people actually think the way their friends look has some reflection upon them, somehow. I had a friend who would only come around when I was thin. And looking back at it, i was the only somewhat 'overweight' friend she had. All the others were beautiful and thin. She later then told me that she had to be friends with someone who had the same interest as her, but the only thing those other friends had in common with her were looks..She was married with kids, all of them were single.

[Anonymous]

Oh, it is not rocket science. Birds of a feather...you know all that. People who exercise and watch their diets tend to have GASP friends who do the same. People who LOVE movies have friends who LOVE movies. I made all my friends at college from SMOKING. We all met smoking outside buildings. And we were and are an eclectic bunch. All that being said, as an adult, I try to cultivate and keep as many different friends as I can. Mom friends, football friends, drinking friends, old friends, work out friends, park friends, funny friends, serious friends, needy friends, confident friends, whatever. I have a good array now! But largely, the druggie friends NO. The super skinnies NO. The super obese NO. Not b/c I would shun them, but b/c our lives do not sync up. Simple as that.

[Anonymous]

A good friend is someone who delights in your good fortune. I had a friendship end recently because I was in a good place and it was impossible for her to be happy for me. Makes me sad still, but who needs a friend who wishes the worst for you?