Are we ready for the Thanksgiving Vent thread?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Steak Tips In My Luggage, Yo!

I would add a ChatGPT-generated poem, but our child getting an ecology PhD has shamed us so very effectively on the environmental impact of AI this week that I won’t. But shout out to that poor PP.

Like others, I adore this annual thread. Anyone else remember one of the earlier renditions where a ne’er do well cousin and her boyfriend showed up to the feast with a stolen safe in their car? A poster responded with something like “Let’s crack her open and see what we got!”

We had a nice Thanksgiving with DH’s extended family as usual. My DH is a brilliant man, and generally speaking the opposite of clueless. And yet every year for the 20+ years I’ve been making this massive, complicated meal, he will interrupt my cooking to ask me things like “How many place settings do I need to set out?” My answer is always the same: “The number of people in our family, plus your sister’s family, plus your brother’s family, plus your two parents.” Why?!

But you know this so why not just tell him how many place settings to set out? Common sense is one of our greatest gifts but it only works when we use it!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not a huge thing, but I've had major medical issues this year. I’m starting to feel better, but I have strong food aversions as a side effect of meds. I normally cook Thanksgiving dinner and love it, bur this year im ki d of just offering my recipes ans small amounts of help.

The only thing I was looking forward to and feel I could stomach is pumpkin pie which my niece baked yesterday. The first one she baked came out weird (seems likely she left out an ingredient). DH went out to get ingredients again last night, and she baked it again
I was exhausted so went to sleep while it baked. This morning I discovered they had left it out on the counter...there is no way with my health issues I can risk eating it...but everyone else seems fine, and the oven is needed for other things today

If it finished baking late at night of course it had to be left on the counter! Who puts a hot pie in the fridge. It’s perfectly safe to eat

I have never refrigerated a pumpkin pie and no one has ever gotten sick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ILs sit in total silence. They speak to no one including their son and grandkids, unkess its answerin a question. Any and all socializing is torture for these people. I am indeed afraid that my kids have inherited this defect and as my husband ages he seems to be getting more like them.
My dad sits in blissful solitude because he "forgot" his hearing aids again.
My mom is telling my ILs various sob stories trying desperately to get a reaction or sympathy out of them. She will get nothing and end up tipsy on my deck, in tears, asking why I married into such a weird family.

My SIL’s kids don’t talk either. We see them all the time and they just play on their phones. My husband once cheerfully called out “so nice talking to you” as we were leaving. Their excuse is that Covid was hard for them, socially. It’s been five years. They should be able to converse with relatives.

I wouldn’t converse with rude, judgmental, snarky adults who are deliberately unkind, either. You’re a problem.

You’re wrong.

Any adult who would sarcastically chide kids who don’t want to be there in the first place is a jerk. I said what I said.

NP and mother of teens. I’m with you. Give them a break. What teen wants to sit around and talk with adults. None that I’ve ever known including myself when I was that age.

It's a matter of teaching your children good manners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am single and childless and live far from family so I was really excited to spend the holiday with a friend and her extended family. They are all lovely people and I was happy to be surrounded by the joyful chaos of all the kids playing and everybody talking over one another at dinner.

I spent hours yesterday making my favorite Thanksgiving dish: pecan pie. We were all supposed to go to a different house to eat dessert after the football game they were watching ended. As I was carrying the pie to my car on their darkened driveway I tripped and fell flat on my face and ended up with a nasty bruise on my leg and a pie dish that shattered into a thousand tiny pieces.

They were all so lovely about it but I just wanted to cry. I was really excited for that pie and wanted to show it off and share it with all of them. Instead they had to help me clean up broken glass and I ended up going home right away partly to ice my leg and partly bc I didn’t want to cry and spoil their holiday. And I can’t afford to make myself another pie bc pecans are so expensive and I am too broke. It was a special splurge for the holiday.

That sounds disappointing and frustrating. I’m sorry that happened to you. Hope things get better.

+1 - I am so bummed for you pecan pie poster. Hugs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WOW, YOUR DAUGHTER SURE LIKES TO SLEEP!
GRANDDAUGHTER SUREEEEEE LIKES TO SLEEP!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU ALL SLEEP SO LATE!
GOOD MORNING, SLEEPYHEAD!
WOW, THERE SHE IS!

This nonsense goes on from 6 a.m. forward.

Same. We are not in that person's house today, but we hear this all the time when we are.

I'm adding this to my list of things never to say.

My dad used to say "She lives!" when I'd get up at like 9am on a holiday. So grating. I will never understand people who are resentful that someone is getting rest. Unless there are chores to be done and someone has an obligation or commitment to do them early, why do you care?

It took my parents years but we finally got to a compromise. They push breakfast back to 8:30a and I will wake up! (it still baffles me that they can't connect that my being asleep means I am not hungry!) and come down in pajamas to breakfast. They, of course, have been up and dressed for hours. But since it is important to them that we have breakfast as a family we settled on this. It works. They still joke a little about my bedhead and I milk it for laughs by coming down face washed, teeth brushed but otherwise as rumpled as possible.

Early risers are always controlling nasty aholes. See the million threads on this site about people who sleep in are lazy, waste the day, have no life, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Steak Tips In My Luggage, Yo!

I would add a ChatGPT-generated poem, but our child getting an ecology PhD has shamed us so very effectively on the environmental impact of AI this week that I won’t. But shout out to that poor PP.

Like others, I adore this annual thread. Anyone else remember one of the earlier renditions where a ne’er do well cousin and her boyfriend showed up to the feast with a stolen safe in their car? A poster responded with something like “Let’s crack her open and see what we got!”

We had a nice Thanksgiving with DH’s extended family as usual. My DH is a brilliant man, and generally speaking the opposite of clueless. And yet every year for the 20+ years I’ve been making this massive, complicated meal, he will interrupt my cooking to ask me things like “How many place settings do I need to set out?” My answer is always the same: “The number of people in our family, plus your sister’s family, plus your brother’s family, plus your two parents.” Why?!

But you know this so why not just tell him how many place settings to set out? Common sense is one of our greatest gifts but it only works when we use it!!!!

Where’s the fun in that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ILs sit in total silence. They speak to no one including their son and grandkids, unkess its answerin a question. Any and all socializing is torture for these people. I am indeed afraid that my kids have inherited this defect and as my husband ages he seems to be getting more like them.
My dad sits in blissful solitude because he "forgot" his hearing aids again.
My mom is telling my ILs various sob stories trying desperately to get a reaction or sympathy out of them. She will get nothing and end up tipsy on my deck, in tears, asking why I married into such a weird family.

They just want to be left alone! Why is your mother torturing them?! She can chit chat with someone else.

Introverted people like being at the fringes of the event, without engaging too much socially.

I would much rather have introverted people as guests than have people who cannot let a silence go unchallenged.

Sorry, that's just weird with FAMILY. I somewhat understand your point in other situations, but this is not normal.

I know it's not normal for you, but it's not something they can control. They're clearly on the autism spectrum.

OK and way to completely miss the point. Not sure how you can tell they are CLEARLY on the spectrum based on that short anecdote. No one is forcing the in laws to be there if they don't want to be. If you agree to the visit, you agree to some actual interaction. Otherwise just stay home (which is fine btw!)

I don't know what it is but something is wrong. I've written here before about how they sat in silence when meeting their first grandchild. They literally had nothing to say.
One of their fathers died a while back. Husband was a pallbearer so I was alone at the grave with a toddler and a baby. With one arm I held the baby, with the other I held up an umbrella in the pouring rain. Toddler was whimpering and ILs just looked daggers at me because the toddler wasnt silent. Not a stranger, but their own grandchild. A random second cousin ended up helping me with the umbrella and was very sweet.

Why on earth would you take two very young children to a funeral?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ILs sit in total silence. They speak to no one including their son and grandkids, unkess its answerin a question. Any and all socializing is torture for these people. I am indeed afraid that my kids have inherited this defect and as my husband ages he seems to be getting more like them.
My dad sits in blissful solitude because he "forgot" his hearing aids again.
My mom is telling my ILs various sob stories trying desperately to get a reaction or sympathy out of them. She will get nothing and end up tipsy on my deck, in tears, asking why I married into such a weird family.

They just want to be left alone! Why is your mother torturing them?! She can chit chat with someone else.

Introverted people like being at the fringes of the event, without engaging too much socially.

I would much rather have introverted people as guests than have people who cannot let a silence go unchallenged.

Sorry, that's just weird with FAMILY. I somewhat understand your point in other situations, but this is not normal.

I know it's not normal for you, but it's not something they can control. They're clearly on the autism spectrum.

OK and way to completely miss the point. Not sure how you can tell they are CLEARLY on the spectrum based on that short anecdote. No one is forcing the in laws to be there if they don't want to be. If you agree to the visit, you agree to some actual interaction. Otherwise just stay home (which is fine btw!)

I don't know what it is but something is wrong. I've written here before about how they sat in silence when meeting their first grandchild. They literally had nothing to say.
One of their fathers died a while back. Husband was a pallbearer so I was alone at the grave with a toddler and a baby. With one arm I held the baby, with the other I held up an umbrella in the pouring rain. Toddler was whimpering and ILs just looked daggers at me because the toddler wasnt silent. Not a stranger, but their own grandchild. A random second cousin ended up helping me with the umbrella and was very sweet.

Why on earth would you take two very young children to a funeral?

Who else will watch them? I had to take my 2 yr old DD to my FIL's funeral because we were in front out of town, all family would be at the funeral, and we couldn't find a sitter anyone knew on short notice (and I did not feel comfortable leaving her with a total stranger). Tho I took her with the understanding that if she needed to be taken out of the room, I would do it.

My husband said it was a support to him to gave us both there and I was trying to support him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WOW, YOUR DAUGHTER SURE LIKES TO SLEEP!
GRANDDAUGHTER SUREEEEEE LIKES TO SLEEP!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU ALL SLEEP SO LATE!
GOOD MORNING, SLEEPYHEAD!
WOW, THERE SHE IS!

This nonsense goes on from 6 a.m. forward.

Same. We are not in that person's house today, but we hear this all the time when we are.

I'm adding this to my list of things never to say.

My dad used to say "She lives!" when I'd get up at like 9am on a holiday. So grating. I will never understand people who are resentful that someone is getting rest. Unless there are chores to be done and someone has an obligation or commitment to do them early, why do you care?

It took my parents years but we finally got to a compromise. They push breakfast back to 8:30a and I will wake up! (it still baffles me that they can't connect that my being asleep means I am not hungry!) and come down in pajamas to breakfast. They, of course, have been up and dressed for hours. But since it is important to them that we have breakfast as a family we settled on this. It works. They still joke a little about my bedhead and I milk it for laughs by coming down face washed, teeth brushed but otherwise as rumpled as possible.

Early risers are always controlling nasty aholes. See the million threads on this site about people who sleep in are lazy, waste the day, have no life, etc.

Some early risers are not like this! I am an early riser specifically because I like having time during the day when it's quiet and calm. Especially true when we have house guests, I would never expect them to get up with me and actually prefer when they don't. If one of my guests is an early riser, I prefer to stay out of each other's way.

I don't force breakfast on late sleepers. In that situation I would provide a breakfast people can graze when they wake, like yogurt with toppings and maybe some oatmeal on the stove. Happy to make coffee whenever people need it (I'm not a coffee drinker so I don't care). I don't see the point of trying to force a sit down meal in the morning if people have very different schedules. Sleep is important.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This year I have my kids for thanksgiving. I’m not a holiday person, and overall hate cooking and cleaning, so usually for holidays we’ll just go out or get a pizza.

My new BF (who doesn’t have kids) grew up in a very broken family and later on foster care, so my holiday plan troubled him greatly. He likes the idea of the wholesome family during the holidays. So he said I can’t do pizza, don’t worry, he’ll handle thanksgiving dinner.

Then every night this week has talked about how stressed he is trying to plan dinner and asking me a million questions. Should we do ham or turkey? Should we cook or get it catered? Who should we buy it from? What do we do if it isn’t shipped in time?

Finally I was like omg, shut up, I’ll just handle it. So now here I am making a damn thanksgiving dinner I didn’t want to make so my BF can try to heal his childhood trauma.

And yes, I know I did this to myself.

At least on the plus side, I found a recipe for a one sheet pan thanksgiving dinner. So just a matter of sticking things on the pan over 3 hours. Hoping it’s not too difficult.

PP back with an update!

Thanksgiving went well. BF helped out - both with cooking and entertaining the kids. He took them out to the playground, and also made a run back to my house for some things I had forgotten. And he cleaned everything up so overall a very fair exchange, we were both pretty happy.

I *did* have to stop him from making Mac and cheese about 15 minutes before dinner was served. He said he was hungry, so he was going to cook up some Kraft, have a bite, and put it in the fridge before the kids noticed and wanted it instead of dinner. I was like nooooooo sir you will not make that Mac and cheese.

How old is this person?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:we were at friends' house yesterday and they asked what we did for Thanksgiving, if we cooked,etc. My spouse replied "we hardly cooked, as it was just the 4 of us."

I wish we had "hardly cooked" but I made--at the request of kids--two different pies, turkey breast, gravy, green beans and cornbread stuffing--and he made (because he likes them) mashed potatoes. I also cleaned the entire house and set the table nicely with my kids while he chillaxed.

Your DH is d*ck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Libby's canned pumpkin has that classic pie recipe on the back. I went and looked at it.
It says "...cool on wire rack for 2 hours then serve immediately or refrigerate."

Yeah there’s also a guideline that pizza shouldn’t be sitting out more than 2 hrs. I’ve left pizza out for hrs on end and nobody got hurt ever

Didn’t these people ever go to college? Next Morning Hangover Pizza rocks.

Exactly

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband’s cousin and his life are good people who left on Friday like good overnight guests should.

MIL and FIL aren’t leaving after lunch which apparently they expect us to set out for them. DH can handle it. I’m having my coffee in bed like I normally do, while they fret and fuss around the kitchen even though I set out breakfast food and set up the coffee and hit start the nanosecond I woke up; even though it literally had a sign on it that said “Feel free to hit Start”

I’m over it. After my coffee, I’m going to shower, grab a bite, and take my oldest shopping like she wanted to yesterday but we didn’t Because Family. We’ll say our goodbye at 10 even though they are staying until 1. And if we stay out so long they’re gone when we give back, OK, we’ll give you hugs now just in case!

BYEEEEE! BYEEEEE! We want to actually relax during a break now! Have a good trip!

It may very well be that they are relieved to hang out with only their son! I love it when my SIL does her thing and I can actually talk to my brother!

[Anonymous]

The women cooked and cleaned for days, the meal lasted 15 minutes, we argued so much politics and that it was a relief when the men sat and watched TV football for the rest of the day. Another fun Thanksgiving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ILs sit in total silence. They speak to no one including their son and grandkids, unkess its answerin a question. Any and all socializing is torture for these people. I am indeed afraid that my kids have inherited this defect and as my husband ages he seems to be getting more like them.
My dad sits in blissful solitude because he "forgot" his hearing aids again.
My mom is telling my ILs various sob stories trying desperately to get a reaction or sympathy out of them. She will get nothing and end up tipsy on my deck, in tears, asking why I married into such a weird family.

They just want to be left alone! Why is your mother torturing them?! She can chit chat with someone else.

Introverted people like being at the fringes of the event, without engaging too much socially.

I would much rather have introverted people as guests than have people who cannot let a silence go unchallenged.

Sorry, that's just weird with FAMILY. I somewhat understand your point in other situations, but this is not normal.

I know it's not normal for you, but it's not something they can control. They're clearly on the autism spectrum.

OK and way to completely miss the point. Not sure how you can tell they are CLEARLY on the spectrum based on that short anecdote. No one is forcing the in laws to be there if they don't want to be. If you agree to the visit, you agree to some actual interaction. Otherwise just stay home (which is fine btw!)

I don't know what it is but something is wrong. I've written here before about how they sat in silence when meeting their first grandchild. They literally had nothing to say.
One of their fathers died a while back. Husband was a pallbearer so I was alone at the grave with a toddler and a baby. With one arm I held the baby, with the other I held up an umbrella in the pouring rain. Toddler was whimpering and ILs just looked daggers at me because the toddler wasnt silent. Not a stranger, but their own grandchild. A random second cousin ended up helping me with the umbrella and was very sweet.

Why on earth would you take two very young children to a funeral?

+1. Your MIL’s father died and you wanted her to hold your stupid umbrella? Wow, just wow. You should have stayed out of the way or not gone.