Just got yelled at for leaving my kid alone in in the car while I went to the pharmacy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Holy shit you’re nuts op

Yup. Leaving a kid unattended in a car with the engine running rather than (1) lowering the windows and turning off the engine or (2) having the kid come with you.

Said early on in this thread: stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parenting standards have changed so much. In the 80s nobody would question a 7 year old left in the car. Now we do. I won't be surprised when there are fewer babies born as the laws and requirements become even stricter for the next generation.

I don't think people are not having childten because children can't be left in the car!

How about women are tired of doing it all abd not getting help!

Np. Sometimes the help we need is to leave the kid in the car for 5 min. It’s hard dragging them in for tiny errands like dropping off a package at ups

Agree. It seems like such a small thing but it adds up. I live in a place where I can never leave my kid alone in a car (due to both the law and the fact that my area really just is not safe) and it creates all these logistical challenges that are a pain to figure out. If I take a sick kid to urgent care and they call in a prescription I have to take the sick kid into the pharmacy to pick it up on the way home or I have to take the kid home and wait for my spouse to get home from the office and then go get it (delaying when the kid can take medication). If we take our cat to the vet I have to finagle the kid and the cat from the car to the door of the vet which sucks because the carrier is heavy. If I forget something in our apartment when we go out of the house I have to unstrap the kid and bring her inside and do the whole thing all over again. It's exhausting.

I hate living in this city with a kid in part because I feel like nowhere is safe for her. DH's job has trapped us here for a few more years and I fantasize about living in a small town or a nice safe suburb where this wouldn't be so hard. And now y'all are telling me that you don't think people should be able to leave a 7 yr old in the car for 5 minutes at a pharmacy in a quiet and safe suburb because... reasons. It's ridiculous. I love being a mom but sometimes it feels like society is set up specifically to make it as hard as possible for no reason. I guarantee you that if men were the ones who were more likely to be out running errands with kids the cultural norm would be that of course you can leave a kid in the car and of course a security guard should keep one eye out for that kid. Because we design the world for men's convenience and women's burden.

It was really fun being banned from bringing older sibs to prenatal appointments while pregnant. I kept my high-risk pregnancy with midwives far longer than I should have because they make an attempt to honor appointment times. I have no idea what singe mothers of multiple kids do, what do you do if one of your kids is hospitalized? Zero help for moms, only judgment.

Single mothers build their own village of friends, colleagues and neighbors if they don't have any family in town.

I'm a military wife. So not single but solo parenting about 70% of the time (and 100% of the time fur months at a time). People always say to me "well at least you all have each other and the military fir support." Bull crap. I mean yes-- military wives help each other out and IF you are stationed at certain bases there is a network. But if you think that replaces having a society that actually gives a crap about kids or families, you're wrong. I'm tough and I don't complain but it doesn't mean I don't think the way this country treats moms and kids is stupid. Especially after being stationed in Germany for 2 years and seeing how other cultures do it.

Had it been me I would have told that security guard what for. He was wrong and needs to be educated. He was just mad that a kid in a car required him to actually do his job for 5 minutes (be alert and pay attention, call for help if needed) instead of sit on his laaaaasazy butt and pick his nose.

But sure, let's yell at the mom who is running errands with a kid in tow. Apparently she's the lazy one. Mmmhmm okay, sure.

You wouldn't have posted looking for support like OP did.

So it's ok if you far short of "standards" as long as you are quiet and ashamed about it.

She said she was tough and the military wives I know would not have posted about this. They are tough and too busy to whine about small things.

So essentially yes. Fantastic. I have to say this thread is very illuminating as to why such a large percentage of middle aged women are on SSRIs

Military wives aren't quiet and ashamed of themselves. Maybe you should get to know some.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a 7 year old and I probably would have taken her in only because prescriptions could take a while and lines can be long.

I wrote on another thread that I used to leave my boys in the car when I bought milk at 7-11 or picking up dry cleaning. I could see the car and then through the window.

If you’re in a CVS you will not be in there for only 10 minutes. I did the same thing. If I was in front of the store with glass and I could see them every the whole time I would, but otherwise they come in with me.

I was at a playground once near some baseball fields where there were little league games going on or something. This three year little boy fell and hurt himself. No one came to claim him. I picked him up and walked with him hoping someone would see him but when no one did I called the police after 20”. The police came and when they went to take him he clung to me like his life depended on it. He was terrified.

The father came running over after 5 minutes. I’m sure he didn’t envision this scene when he went out that day.

Something like that could happen to me. I have three kids. One of them wanders off and another doesn't program in moving their butt to cooperate with you to help find the missing one. I'm #2 of 6, I remember my sister, #3 so one of the older ones, just wandered off. We had to spend the day at the first aid station while my dad looked for her.

Yeah that happens. My mother will never forget when my youngest sister wandered off at the beach,the ocean. She was hysterical. But mothers notice pretty quickly.

But he was nowhere near the playground. He was somewhere in the stands. I walked slowly back and forth in front of the stands figuring someone would notice a woman holding their child and run over. When that didn’t happen I had to finally call the police. Even after the police arrived it took him awhile to realize they were there because of him. I wonder if his wife ever found out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parenting standards have changed so much. In the 80s nobody would question a 7 year old left in the car. Now we do. I won't be surprised when there are fewer babies born as the laws and requirements become even stricter for the next generation.

I don't think people are not having childten because children can't be left in the car!

How about women are tired of doing it all abd not getting help!

Np. Sometimes the help we need is to leave the kid in the car for 5 min. It’s hard dragging them in for tiny errands like dropping off a package at ups

Agree. It seems like such a small thing but it adds up. I live in a place where I can never leave my kid alone in a car (due to both the law and the fact that my area really just is not safe) and it creates all these logistical challenges that are a pain to figure out. If I take a sick kid to urgent care and they call in a prescription I have to take the sick kid into the pharmacy to pick it up on the way home or I have to take the kid home and wait for my spouse to get home from the office and then go get it (delaying when the kid can take medication). If we take our cat to the vet I have to finagle the kid and the cat from the car to the door of the vet which sucks because the carrier is heavy. If I forget something in our apartment when we go out of the house I have to unstrap the kid and bring her inside and do the whole thing all over again. It's exhausting.

I hate living in this city with a kid in part because I feel like nowhere is safe for her. DH's job has trapped us here for a few more years and I fantasize about living in a small town or a nice safe suburb where this wouldn't be so hard. And now y'all are telling me that you don't think people should be able to leave a 7 yr old in the car for 5 minutes at a pharmacy in a quiet and safe suburb because... reasons. It's ridiculous. I love being a mom but sometimes it feels like society is set up specifically to make it as hard as possible for no reason. I guarantee you that if men were the ones who were more likely to be out running errands with kids the cultural norm would be that of course you can leave a kid in the car and of course a security guard should keep one eye out for that kid. Because we design the world for men's convenience and women's burden.

It was really fun being banned from bringing older sibs to prenatal appointments while pregnant. I kept my high-risk pregnancy with midwives far longer than I should have because they make an attempt to honor appointment times. I have no idea what singe mothers of multiple kids do, what do you do if one of your kids is hospitalized? Zero help for moms, only judgment.

Single mothers build their own village of friends, colleagues and neighbors if they don't have any family in town.

I'm a military wife. So not single but solo parenting about 70% of the time (and 100% of the time fur months at a time). People always say to me "well at least you all have each other and the military fir support." Bull crap. I mean yes-- military wives help each other out and IF you are stationed at certain bases there is a network. But if you think that replaces having a society that actually gives a crap about kids or families, you're wrong. I'm tough and I don't complain but it doesn't mean I don't think the way this country treats moms and kids is stupid. Especially after being stationed in Germany for 2 years and seeing how other cultures do it.

Had it been me I would have told that security guard what for. He was wrong and needs to be educated. He was just mad that a kid in a car required him to actually do his job for 5 minutes (be alert and pay attention, call for help if needed) instead of sit on his laaaaasazy butt and pick his nose.

But sure, let's yell at the mom who is running errands with a kid in tow. Apparently she's the lazy one. Mmmhmm okay, sure.

You wouldn't have posted looking for support like OP did.

So it's ok if you far short of "standards" as long as you are quiet and ashamed about it.

She said she was tough and the military wives I know would not have posted about this. They are tough and too busy to whine about small things.

So essentially yes. Fantastic. I have to say this thread is very illuminating as to why such a large percentage of middle aged women are on SSRIs

Military wives aren't quiet and ashamed of themselves. Maybe you should get to know some.

Maybe you should talk to your doctor today about Prozac.

[Anonymous]

I'm the military wife from the prior page and I am 100% team OP. No probl with her posting here. Be vocal.

Seriously, y'all are accusing a mom who is juggling a kid and errands (perfectly well btw) of being lazy while being affronted that the security guard might have to do his job and actually, you know, secure the parking lot for a minute.

The kid was 7 and he stayed in the car and was fine. Job done. Mom got the scrip and returned to the car within a few minutes. Job done. Rent a cop saw a 7 yr old minding his own business in a car, had a hissy fit, harassed a kid, and yelled at his mother. What the heck.

[Anonymous]

More than anything I am afraid this thread illustrates why women are underrepresented in positions of power, authority, and responsibility. Anyone judging OP for this is devoid of critical thinking skills, fundamental logic, and the ability to appropriately assess risk. I would be willing to bet the average Dad wouldn’t think twice about this and would be utterly confused as to why the hell anyone would think a normally developing second grader is incapable of sitting in a car for a short time. It’s a hysterical and illogical overreaction to, dare I say, a nothing-burger.

What OP did was fine. I would not let those of you bashing her be in charge of a deep fryer at McDonald’s, and I certainly wouldn’t take any advice you might have to offer up on child rearing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:More than anything I am afraid this thread illustrates why women are underrepresented in positions of power, authority, and responsibility. Anyone judging OP for this is devoid of critical thinking skills, fundamental logic, and the ability to appropriately assess risk. I would be willing to bet the average Dad wouldn’t think twice about this and would be utterly confused as to why the hell anyone would think a normally developing second grader is incapable of sitting in a car for a short time. It’s a hysterical and illogical overreaction to, dare I say, a nothing-burger.

What OP did was fine. I would not let those of you bashing her be in charge of a deep fryer at McDonald’s, and I certainly wouldn’t take any advice you might have to offer up on child rearing.

It was ten minutes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm the military wife from the prior page and I am 100% team OP. No probl with her posting here. Be vocal.

Seriously, y'all are accusing a mom who is juggling a kid and errands (perfectly well btw) of being lazy while being affronted that the security guard might have to do his job and actually, you know, secure the parking lot for a minute.

The kid was 7 and he stayed in the car and was fine. Job done. Mom got the scrip and returned to the car within a few minutes. Job done. Rent a cop saw a 7 yr old minding his own business in a car, had a hissy fit, harassed a kid, and yelled at his mother. What the heck.

Are you seriously demeaning the security guard for protecting a child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm the military wife from the prior page and I am 100% team OP. No probl with her posting here. Be vocal.

Seriously, y'all are accusing a mom who is juggling a kid and errands (perfectly well btw) of being lazy while being affronted that the security guard might have to do his job and actually, you know, secure the parking lot for a minute.

The kid was 7 and he stayed in the car and was fine. Job done. Mom got the scrip and returned to the car within a few minutes. Job done. Rent a cop saw a 7 yr old minding his own business in a car, had a hissy fit, harassed a kid, and yelled at his mother. What the heck.

Fortunately, the kid was fine. If he wasn't, the security guard would have been held accountable for not noticing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parenting standards have changed so much. In the 80s nobody would question a 7 year old left in the car. Now we do. I won't be surprised when there are fewer babies born as the laws and requirements become even stricter for the next generation.

I don't think people are not having childten because children can't be left in the car!

How about women are tired of doing it all abd not getting help!

Np. Sometimes the help we need is to leave the kid in the car for 5 min. It’s hard dragging them in for tiny errands like dropping off a package at ups

Agree. It seems like such a small thing but it adds up. I live in a place where I can never leave my kid alone in a car (due to both the law and the fact that my area really just is not safe) and it creates all these logistical challenges that are a pain to figure out. If I take a sick kid to urgent care and they call in a prescription I have to take the sick kid into the pharmacy to pick it up on the way home or I have to take the kid home and wait for my spouse to get home from the office and then go get it (delaying when the kid can take medication). If we take our cat to the vet I have to finagle the kid and the cat from the car to the door of the vet which sucks because the carrier is heavy. If I forget something in our apartment when we go out of the house I have to unstrap the kid and bring her inside and do the whole thing all over again. It's exhausting.

I hate living in this city with a kid in part because I feel like nowhere is safe for her. DH's job has trapped us here for a few more years and I fantasize about living in a small town or a nice safe suburb where this wouldn't be so hard. And now y'all are telling me that you don't think people should be able to leave a 7 yr old in the car for 5 minutes at a pharmacy in a quiet and safe suburb because... reasons. It's ridiculous. I love being a mom but sometimes it feels like society is set up specifically to make it as hard as possible for no reason. I guarantee you that if men were the ones who were more likely to be out running errands with kids the cultural norm would be that of course you can leave a kid in the car and of course a security guard should keep one eye out for that kid. Because we design the world for men's convenience and women's burden.

It was really fun being banned from bringing older sibs to prenatal appointments while pregnant. I kept my high-risk pregnancy with midwives far longer than I should have because they make an attempt to honor appointment times. I have no idea what singe mothers of multiple kids do, what do you do if one of your kids is hospitalized? Zero help for moms, only judgment.

Single mothers build their own village of friends, colleagues and neighbors if they don't have any family in town.

I'm a military wife. So not single but solo parenting about 70% of the time (and 100% of the time fur months at a time). People always say to me "well at least you all have each other and the military fir support." Bull crap. I mean yes-- military wives help each other out and IF you are stationed at certain bases there is a network. But if you think that replaces having a society that actually gives a crap about kids or families, you're wrong. I'm tough and I don't complain but it doesn't mean I don't think the way this country treats moms and kids is stupid. Especially after being stationed in Germany for 2 years and seeing how other cultures do it.

Had it been me I would have told that security guard what for. He was wrong and needs to be educated. He was just mad that a kid in a car required him to actually do his job for 5 minutes (be alert and pay attention, call for help if needed) instead of sit on his laaaaasazy butt and pick his nose.

But sure, let's yell at the mom who is running errands with a kid in tow. Apparently she's the lazy one. Mmmhmm okay, sure.

You wouldn't have posted looking for support like OP did.

So it's ok if you far short of "standards" as long as you are quiet and ashamed about it.

She said she was tough and the military wives I know would not have posted about this. They are tough and too busy to whine about small things.

So essentially yes. Fantastic. I have to say this thread is very illuminating as to why such a large percentage of middle aged women are on SSRIs

Military wives aren't quiet and ashamed of themselves. Maybe you should get to know some.

Maybe you should talk to your doctor today about Prozac.

DP. Maybe you should think about why you like to use mental illness as an insult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:More than anything I am afraid this thread illustrates why women are underrepresented in positions of power, authority, and responsibility. Anyone judging OP for this is devoid of critical thinking skills, fundamental logic, and the ability to appropriately assess risk. I would be willing to bet the average Dad wouldn’t think twice about this and would be utterly confused as to why the hell anyone would think a normally developing second grader is incapable of sitting in a car for a short time. It’s a hysterical and illogical overreaction to, dare I say, a nothing-burger.

What OP did was fine. I would not let those of you bashing her be in charge of a deep fryer at McDonald’s, and I certainly wouldn’t take any advice you might have to offer up on child rearing.

OP left the engine running. Dumb.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:More than anything I am afraid this thread illustrates why women are underrepresented in positions of power, authority, and responsibility. Anyone judging OP for this is devoid of critical thinking skills, fundamental logic, and the ability to appropriately assess risk. I would be willing to bet the average Dad wouldn’t think twice about this and would be utterly confused as to why the hell anyone would think a normally developing second grader is incapable of sitting in a car for a short time. It’s a hysterical and illogical overreaction to, dare I say, a nothing-burger.

What OP did was fine. I would not let those of you bashing her be in charge of a deep fryer at McDonald’s, and I certainly wouldn’t take any advice you might have to offer up on child rearing.

OP left the engine running. Dumb.

What does that have to do with anything? If a carjacker accidentally stole a car with a kid in it, they would either park the car and get out or dump the kid somewhere. Kidnapping is a much more serious crime than car theft. If the criminal was sexually motivated, he can just as easily snatch a kid off a bike, so the car means nothing. OP could have left the doors locked too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parenting standards have changed so much. In the 80s nobody would question a 7 year old left in the car. Now we do. I won't be surprised when there are fewer babies born as the laws and requirements become even stricter for the next generation.

I don't think people are not having childten because children can't be left in the car!

How about women are tired of doing it all abd not getting help!

Np. Sometimes the help we need is to leave the kid in the car for 5 min. It’s hard dragging them in for tiny errands like dropping off a package at ups

Agree. It seems like such a small thing but it adds up. I live in a place where I can never leave my kid alone in a car (due to both the law and the fact that my area really just is not safe) and it creates all these logistical challenges that are a pain to figure out. If I take a sick kid to urgent care and they call in a prescription I have to take the sick kid into the pharmacy to pick it up on the way home or I have to take the kid home and wait for my spouse to get home from the office and then go get it (delaying when the kid can take medication). If we take our cat to the vet I have to finagle the kid and the cat from the car to the door of the vet which sucks because the carrier is heavy. If I forget something in our apartment when we go out of the house I have to unstrap the kid and bring her inside and do the whole thing all over again. It's exhausting.

I hate living in this city with a kid in part because I feel like nowhere is safe for her. DH's job has trapped us here for a few more years and I fantasize about living in a small town or a nice safe suburb where this wouldn't be so hard. And now y'all are telling me that you don't think people should be able to leave a 7 yr old in the car for 5 minutes at a pharmacy in a quiet and safe suburb because... reasons. It's ridiculous. I love being a mom but sometimes it feels like society is set up specifically to make it as hard as possible for no reason. I guarantee you that if men were the ones who were more likely to be out running errands with kids the cultural norm would be that of course you can leave a kid in the car and of course a security guard should keep one eye out for that kid. Because we design the world for men's convenience and women's burden.

It was really fun being banned from bringing older sibs to prenatal appointments while pregnant. I kept my high-risk pregnancy with midwives far longer than I should have because they make an attempt to honor appointment times. I have no idea what singe mothers of multiple kids do, what do you do if one of your kids is hospitalized? Zero help for moms, only judgment.

Single mothers build their own village of friends, colleagues and neighbors if they don't have any family in town.

I'm a military wife. So not single but solo parenting about 70% of the time (and 100% of the time fur months at a time). People always say to me "well at least you all have each other and the military fir support." Bull crap. I mean yes-- military wives help each other out and IF you are stationed at certain bases there is a network. But if you think that replaces having a society that actually gives a crap about kids or families, you're wrong. I'm tough and I don't complain but it doesn't mean I don't think the way this country treats moms and kids is stupid. Especially after being stationed in Germany for 2 years and seeing how other cultures do it.

Had it been me I would have told that security guard what for. He was wrong and needs to be educated. He was just mad that a kid in a car required him to actually do his job for 5 minutes (be alert and pay attention, call for help if needed) instead of sit on his laaaaasazy butt and pick his nose.

But sure, let's yell at the mom who is running errands with a kid in tow. Apparently she's the lazy one. Mmmhmm okay, sure.

You wouldn't have posted looking for support like OP did.

So it's ok if you far short of "standards" as long as you are quiet and ashamed about it.

She said she was tough and the military wives I know would not have posted about this. They are tough and too busy to whine about small things.

So essentially yes. Fantastic. I have to say this thread is very illuminating as to why such a large percentage of middle aged women are on SSRIs

Military wives aren't quiet and ashamed of themselves. Maybe you should get to know some.

Maybe you should talk to your doctor today about Prozac.

DP. Maybe you should think about why you like to use mental illness as an insult.

Believe it or not, I have GAD and PTSD. I've tried duloxetine, amitriptyline and bupropion because I also have chronic pain. I self describe myself as crazy and no, I don't wither away from my labels as if they are an insult. I do not think "safetyism" (so glad there is a word for it) is doing anybody's mental health a favor. It is time to push back. It has gone too far.

[Anonymous]

Why did kid get to decide whether or not he went in store? Who the hell is in charge?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:More than anything I am afraid this thread illustrates why women are underrepresented in positions of power, authority, and responsibility. Anyone judging OP for this is devoid of critical thinking skills, fundamental logic, and the ability to appropriately assess risk. I would be willing to bet the average Dad wouldn’t think twice about this and would be utterly confused as to why the hell anyone would think a normally developing second grader is incapable of sitting in a car for a short time. It’s a hysterical and illogical overreaction to, dare I say, a nothing-burger.

What OP did was fine. I would not let those of you bashing her be in charge of a deep fryer at McDonald’s, and I certainly wouldn’t take any advice you might have to offer up on child rearing.

OP left the engine running. Dumb.

What does that have to do with anything? If a carjacker accidentally stole a car with a kid in it, they would either park the car and get out or dump the kid somewhere. Kidnapping is a much more serious crime than car theft. If the criminal was sexually motivated, he can just as easily snatch a kid off a bike, so the car means nothing. OP could have left the doors locked too.

That kind of trauma is the character building you’re looking for? When OP was upset because the security guard talked to her kid?

Mmm hmm.

Turn off the engine. Why is that so hard for you?