Just got yelled at for leaving my kid alone in in the car while I went to the pharmacy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a 7 year old and I probably would have taken her in only because prescriptions could take a while and lines can be long.

I wrote on another thread that I used to leave my boys in the car when I bought milk at 7-11 or picking up dry cleaning. I could see the car and then through the window.

If you’re in a CVS you will not be in there for only 10 minutes. I did the same thing. If I was in front of the store with glass and I could see them every the whole time I would, but otherwise they come in with me.

I was at a playground once near some baseball fields where there were little league games going on or something. This three year little boy fell and hurt himself. No one came to claim him. I picked him up and walked with him hoping someone would see him but when no one did I called the police after 20”. The police came and when they went to take him he clung to me like his life depended on it. He was terrified.

The father came running over after 5 minutes. I’m sure he didn’t envision this scene when he went out that day.

Something like that could happen to me. I have three kids. One of them wanders off and another doesn't program in moving their butt to cooperate with you to help find the missing one. I'm #2 of 6, I remember my sister, #3 so one of the older ones, just wandered off. We had to spend the day at the first aid station while my dad looked for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, this thread.

I am curious what the security guard's behavior would have been if OP was a man.

I also used to read in the car at this age while my mom ran errands. She generally gave me a choice. She would not have left the car running so the choice would have been "stay in the uncomfortably hot car and read or come on the boring errand with AC." I usually chose car because I like being warm and love reading.

Some of you are overstating the risk of carjacking. Also isn't the security guard there to prevent carjacking?

I do this sometimes when I need to run in the house to grab something (we live in an apartment building). If I know it will only be a couple minutes, and I can look out the window to check on DC if I need to. DC knows how to get out of the car and come in the building on their own if they needed to.

It's actually good for kids to earn some independence and trust as they get older. It's good parenting to give them opportunities to be alone in public spaces in small doses. In a few years my kid will be in middle school and will be riding a public bus to school on their own. How will they reach the point where that is possible if they are never left alone in public for even a few minutes before the age of 10?

“She would not have left the car running…”

OP left the car running. OP created an unnecessary risk to her child and others.

OP is an idiot.

PP here. Agree I wouldn't leave the car running.

But if OP had turned the car off and cracked windows people would be yelling that she'd risked hot car death (by leaving a child old enough to get out if the car and come find her inside in a car with open windows for a few minutes).

If we had more sane attitudes about supervision of kids this age OP could have just cracked the windows and this would be socially confined. Heck, In a functional society OP should have been able to tell her son "if there's an emergency, talk to that security guard over there" and then let the guard know her son was in the car and the guard would be like "cool, thanks for letting me know."

But we live in a non functional society where leaving a 7 year old who can walk and talk and read and write alone for a few minutes is "child neglect." Meanwhile there are actual cases of child neglect that never get prosecuted because most neglect happens in private homes.

It's idiotic. Did you know in Denmark parents routinely leave babies in strollers outside store and restaurants so they can finish naps? Because they have a social agreement that children are a collective responsibility. They are happier and more well adjusted people than we are

We are not in Denmark. The couple from Denmark who did this in nyc got in big trouble.

Crimes against children are not wildly different between the US and Denmark and in both countries the offender is usually known to the victim

You comment has nothing to do with what I said. Please read carefully and slowly. Everything I said was factual. Here is the story:

https://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/local/danish-om-still-stung-by-97-arrest-for-leaving-baby-in-nyc/353952/

It has everything to do with what you said. It only makes sense to compare Denmark to the US if they have wildly divergent rates of crimes against children. They do not. We are being hysterical and it makes society miserable.

[Anonymous]

I’ll say what so many of us are thinking; you are a terrible parent, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, this thread.

I am curious what the security guard's behavior would have been if OP was a man.

I also used to read in the car at this age while my mom ran errands. She generally gave me a choice. She would not have left the car running so the choice would have been "stay in the uncomfortably hot car and read or come on the boring errand with AC." I usually chose car because I like being warm and love reading.

Some of you are overstating the risk of carjacking. Also isn't the security guard there to prevent carjacking?

I do this sometimes when I need to run in the house to grab something (we live in an apartment building). If I know it will only be a couple minutes, and I can look out the window to check on DC if I need to. DC knows how to get out of the car and come in the building on their own if they needed to.

It's actually good for kids to earn some independence and trust as they get older. It's good parenting to give them opportunities to be alone in public spaces in small doses. In a few years my kid will be in middle school and will be riding a public bus to school on their own. How will they reach the point where that is possible if they are never left alone in public for even a few minutes before the age of 10?

So for all of you folks arguing that OP was fine, how many of you leave your 7 year old in a running car? Sadly I still have to run errands in person on occasion. I have never seen this but I see ton of kids in the store, I think most of you don’t actually live what you are saying.

The running car thing isn't all the time-- I have done that once or twice if it was really hot out but would otherwise not leave the car running. I'd lock it either way.

And yes-- as a parent if an elementary age kid I have left my kid in the car for a short errand many times. This is normal. There are situations where I wouldn't do it (bad or unfamiliar neighborhood, anyone sketchy-looking nearby, any chance I'd be detained longer than I think) but the situation OP describes is one where I definitely would do it. Safe neighborhood and picking up a prescription I know is ready? And also a situation where it would be easy to go check on my kid if I needed to (say it turned out the scrip wasn't quite ready-- I could just go back to the car until it was).

I really do not get what the big deal is. Some of you seem insanely stressed about carjacking even though this is really not a something that happens outside of cities and a handful of close in suburbs.

Why not leave the engine running every time?

DP, but presumably because it’s not adding value to the child’s comfort to leave the engine running every time. I would assume the default would be engine off, but if the situation seemed to warrant it maybe leave it on every once in awhile.

I truly hope you are not as dumb as you seem in this thread. Because… talk about someone who shouldn’t be a parent…

Dumb like OP, you mean?

So the default is engine off. Why? Saving gas? Yes, obviously. Not polluting the planet? Also yes, again, obviously Safety, perhaps? What do you think is unsafe about a parked car with the engine running? Couldn’t all these benefits be achieved by turning off the engine every time and rolling down the windows? Sometimes when it’s really GD hot outside rolling down the windows does absolutely nothing. Have you ever even stepped foot in the DC area in August?

Do you leave your child in a car alone with the engine running? Not regularly, but I have and I will again if it tickles my fancy to do so.

Is the child going to melt sitting in the car with windows open for ten minutes? Isn’t that building resilience?

Every time you do this from now on, you will remember this thread and it will make you so mad all over again.

Great. I am happy to continue to do things like this to trigger busybodies like you.

The security guard was the “busybody” here. It could have been a police officer. OP got off easy.

And for the millionth time, it was perfectly legal. So what exactly do you think a police officer would or should have done? Shot her?

You are mind-bogglingly stupid.

dp Then why did op start this thread? If she felt she was right she could have just told the guard and continued on her merry way. Remember it was a guard who questioned her not some DCUM busybody!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, this thread.

I am curious what the security guard's behavior would have been if OP was a man.

I also used to read in the car at this age while my mom ran errands. She generally gave me a choice. She would not have left the car running so the choice would have been "stay in the uncomfortably hot car and read or come on the boring errand with AC." I usually chose car because I like being warm and love reading.

Some of you are overstating the risk of carjacking. Also isn't the security guard there to prevent carjacking?

I do this sometimes when I need to run in the house to grab something (we live in an apartment building). If I know it will only be a couple minutes, and I can look out the window to check on DC if I need to. DC knows how to get out of the car and come in the building on their own if they needed to.

It's actually good for kids to earn some independence and trust as they get older. It's good parenting to give them opportunities to be alone in public spaces in small doses. In a few years my kid will be in middle school and will be riding a public bus to school on their own. How will they reach the point where that is possible if they are never left alone in public for even a few minutes before the age of 10?

“She would not have left the car running…”

OP left the car running. OP created an unnecessary risk to her child and others.

OP is an idiot.

PP here. Agree I wouldn't leave the car running.

But if OP had turned the car off and cracked windows people would be yelling that she'd risked hot car death (by leaving a child old enough to get out if the car and come find her inside in a car with open windows for a few minutes).

If we had more sane attitudes about supervision of kids this age OP could have just cracked the windows and this would be socially confined. Heck, In a functional society OP should have been able to tell her son "if there's an emergency, talk to that security guard over there" and then let the guard know her son was in the car and the guard would be like "cool, thanks for letting me know."

But we live in a non functional society where leaving a 7 year old who can walk and talk and read and write alone for a few minutes is "child neglect." Meanwhile there are actual cases of child neglect that never get prosecuted because most neglect happens in private homes.

It's idiotic. Did you know in Denmark parents routinely leave babies in strollers outside store and restaurants so they can finish naps? Because they have a social agreement that children are a collective responsibility. They are happier and more well adjusted people than we are

We are not in Denmark. The couple from Denmark who did this in nyc got in big trouble.

Crimes against children are not wildly different between the US and Denmark and in both countries the offender is usually known to the victim

You comment has nothing to do with what I said. Please read carefully and slowly. Everything I said was factual. Here is the story:

https://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/local/danish-om-still-stung-by-97-arrest-for-leaving-baby-in-nyc/353952/

It has everything to do with what you said. It only makes sense to compare Denmark to the US if they have wildly divergent rates of crimes against children. They do not. We are being hysterical and it makes society miserable.

No, we are not talking about being 'hysterical'. We are talking about societal norms in the US and leaving your kid with the car running whether legal or illegal is not the 'norm' anymore. The person from Denmark forgot they were not in Denmark. Leaving a baby outside while you have drinks inside in NYC is not the norm. So she and her partner got called out. When in Rome act like Romans!

Look, you can fight the system but, if you lose than you lose your whining rights. Jaywalk and get hit by a car? You lose because you aren't going to win against a car. Leave your kid outside in the car instead of dragging his butt inside? Someone might notice and call you out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a 7 year old and I probably would have taken her in only because prescriptions could take a while and lines can be long.

I wrote on another thread that I used to leave my boys in the car when I bought milk at 7-11 or picking up dry cleaning. I could see the car and then through the window.

If you’re in a CVS you will not be in there for only 10 minutes. I did the same thing. If I was in front of the store with glass and I could see them every the whole time I would, but otherwise they come in with me.

I was at a playground once near some baseball fields where there were little league games going on or something. This three year little boy fell and hurt himself. No one came to claim him. I picked him up and walked with him hoping someone would see him but when no one did I called the police after 20”. The police came and when they went to take him he clung to me like his life depended on it. He was terrified.

The father came running over after 5 minutes. I’m sure he didn’t envision this scene when he went out that day.

Something like that could happen to me. I have three kids. One of them wanders off and another doesn't program in moving their butt to cooperate with you to help find the missing one. I'm #2 of 6, I remember my sister, #3 so one of the older ones, just wandered off. We had to spend the day at the first aid station while my dad looked for her.

So, because you have three kids you think it’s an excuse not to monitor them? Sounds like a parenting issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, this thread.

I am curious what the security guard's behavior would have been if OP was a man.

I also used to read in the car at this age while my mom ran errands. She generally gave me a choice. She would not have left the car running so the choice would have been "stay in the uncomfortably hot car and read or come on the boring errand with AC." I usually chose car because I like being warm and love reading.

Some of you are overstating the risk of carjacking. Also isn't the security guard there to prevent carjacking?

I do this sometimes when I need to run in the house to grab something (we live in an apartment building). If I know it will only be a couple minutes, and I can look out the window to check on DC if I need to. DC knows how to get out of the car and come in the building on their own if they needed to.

It's actually good for kids to earn some independence and trust as they get older. It's good parenting to give them opportunities to be alone in public spaces in small doses. In a few years my kid will be in middle school and will be riding a public bus to school on their own. How will they reach the point where that is possible if they are never left alone in public for even a few minutes before the age of 10?

“She would not have left the car running…”

OP left the car running. OP created an unnecessary risk to her child and others.

OP is an idiot.

PP here. Agree I wouldn't leave the car running.

But if OP had turned the car off and cracked windows people would be yelling that she'd risked hot car death (by leaving a child old enough to get out if the car and come find her inside in a car with open windows for a few minutes).

If we had more sane attitudes about supervision of kids this age OP could have just cracked the windows and this would be socially confined. Heck, In a functional society OP should have been able to tell her son "if there's an emergency, talk to that security guard over there" and then let the guard know her son was in the car and the guard would be like "cool, thanks for letting me know."

But we live in a non functional society where leaving a 7 year old who can walk and talk and read and write alone for a few minutes is "child neglect." Meanwhile there are actual cases of child neglect that never get prosecuted because most neglect happens in private homes.

It's idiotic. Did you know in Denmark parents routinely leave babies in strollers outside store and restaurants so they can finish naps? Because they have a social agreement that children are a collective responsibility. They are happier and more well adjusted people than we are

We are not in Denmark. The couple from Denmark who did this in nyc got in big trouble.

Crimes against children are not wildly different between the US and Denmark and in both countries the offender is usually known to the victim

You comment has nothing to do with what I said. Please read carefully and slowly. Everything I said was factual. Here is the story:

https://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/local/danish-om-still-stung-by-97-arrest-for-leaving-baby-in-nyc/353952/

It has everything to do with what you said. It only makes sense to compare Denmark to the US if they have wildly divergent rates of crimes against children. They do not. We are being hysterical and it makes society miserable.

No, we are not talking about being 'hysterical'. We are talking about societal norms in the US and leaving your kid with the car running whether legal or illegal is not the 'norm' anymore. The person from Denmark forgot they were not in Denmark. Leaving a baby outside while you have drinks inside in NYC is not the norm. So she and her partner got called out. When in Rome act like Romans!

Look, you can fight the system but, if you lose than you lose your whining rights. Jaywalk and get hit by a car? You lose because you aren't going to win against a car. Leave your kid outside in the car instead of dragging his butt inside? Someone might notice and call you out.

Well thank you for admitting its about one-upsman-ship and not safety!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a 7 year old and I probably would have taken her in only because prescriptions could take a while and lines can be long.

I wrote on another thread that I used to leave my boys in the car when I bought milk at 7-11 or picking up dry cleaning. I could see the car and then through the window.

If you’re in a CVS you will not be in there for only 10 minutes. I did the same thing. If I was in front of the store with glass and I could see them every the whole time I would, but otherwise they come in with me.

I was at a playground once near some baseball fields where there were little league games going on or something. This three year little boy fell and hurt himself. No one came to claim him. I picked him up and walked with him hoping someone would see him but when no one did I called the police after 20”. The police came and when they went to take him he clung to me like his life depended on it. He was terrified.

The father came running over after 5 minutes. I’m sure he didn’t envision this scene when he went out that day.

Something like that could happen to me. I have three kids. One of them wanders off and another doesn't program in moving their butt to cooperate with you to help find the missing one. I'm #2 of 6, I remember my sister, #3 so one of the older ones, just wandered off. We had to spend the day at the first aid station while my dad looked for her.

So, because you have three kids you think it’s an excuse not to monitor them? Sounds like a parenting issue.

I physically cannot watch 3 kids at all times. What am I supposed to do, leash them? GPS ankle monitors?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ll say what so many of us are thinking; you are a terrible parent, OP.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parenting standards have changed so much. In the 80s nobody would question a 7 year old left in the car. Now we do. I won't be surprised when there are fewer babies born as the laws and requirements become even stricter for the next generation.

I don't think people are not having childten because children can't be left in the car!

How about women are tired of doing it all abd not getting help!

Np. Sometimes the help we need is to leave the kid in the car for 5 min. It’s hard dragging them in for tiny errands like dropping off a package at ups

Agree. It seems like such a small thing but it adds up. I live in a place where I can never leave my kid alone in a car (due to both the law and the fact that my area really just is not safe) and it creates all these logistical challenges that are a pain to figure out. If I take a sick kid to urgent care and they call in a prescription I have to take the sick kid into the pharmacy to pick it up on the way home or I have to take the kid home and wait for my spouse to get home from the office and then go get it (delaying when the kid can take medication). If we take our cat to the vet I have to finagle the kid and the cat from the car to the door of the vet which sucks because the carrier is heavy. If I forget something in our apartment when we go out of the house I have to unstrap the kid and bring her inside and do the whole thing all over again. It's exhausting.

I hate living in this city with a kid in part because I feel like nowhere is safe for her. DH's job has trapped us here for a few more years and I fantasize about living in a small town or a nice safe suburb where this wouldn't be so hard. And now y'all are telling me that you don't think people should be able to leave a 7 yr old in the car for 5 minutes at a pharmacy in a quiet and safe suburb because... reasons. It's ridiculous. I love being a mom but sometimes it feels like society is set up specifically to make it as hard as possible for no reason. I guarantee you that if men were the ones who were more likely to be out running errands with kids the cultural norm would be that of course you can leave a kid in the car and of course a security guard should keep one eye out for that kid. Because we design the world for men's convenience and women's burden.

It was really fun being banned from bringing older sibs to prenatal appointments while pregnant. I kept my high-risk pregnancy with midwives far longer than I should have because they make an attempt to honor appointment times. I have no idea what singe mothers of multiple kids do, what do you do if one of your kids is hospitalized? Zero help for moms, only judgment.

Single mothers build their own village of friends, colleagues and neighbors if they don't have any family in town.

I'm a military wife. So not single but solo parenting about 70% of the time (and 100% of the time fur months at a time). People always say to me "well at least you all have each other and the military fir support." Bull crap. I mean yes-- military wives help each other out and IF you are stationed at certain bases there is a network. But if you think that replaces having a society that actually gives a crap about kids or families, you're wrong. I'm tough and I don't complain but it doesn't mean I don't think the way this country treats moms and kids is stupid. Especially after being stationed in Germany for 2 years and seeing how other cultures do it.

Had it been me I would have told that security guard what for. He was wrong and needs to be educated. He was just mad that a kid in a car required him to actually do his job for 5 minutes (be alert and pay attention, call for help if needed) instead of sit on his laaaaasazy butt and pick his nose.

But sure, let's yell at the mom who is running errands with a kid in tow. Apparently she's the lazy one. Mmmhmm okay, sure.

You wouldn't have posted looking for support like OP did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parenting standards have changed so much. In the 80s nobody would question a 7 year old left in the car. Now we do. I won't be surprised when there are fewer babies born as the laws and requirements become even stricter for the next generation.

I don't think people are not having childten because children can't be left in the car!

How about women are tired of doing it all abd not getting help!

Np. Sometimes the help we need is to leave the kid in the car for 5 min. It’s hard dragging them in for tiny errands like dropping off a package at ups

Agree. It seems like such a small thing but it adds up. I live in a place where I can never leave my kid alone in a car (due to both the law and the fact that my area really just is not safe) and it creates all these logistical challenges that are a pain to figure out. If I take a sick kid to urgent care and they call in a prescription I have to take the sick kid into the pharmacy to pick it up on the way home or I have to take the kid home and wait for my spouse to get home from the office and then go get it (delaying when the kid can take medication). If we take our cat to the vet I have to finagle the kid and the cat from the car to the door of the vet which sucks because the carrier is heavy. If I forget something in our apartment when we go out of the house I have to unstrap the kid and bring her inside and do the whole thing all over again. It's exhausting.

I hate living in this city with a kid in part because I feel like nowhere is safe for her. DH's job has trapped us here for a few more years and I fantasize about living in a small town or a nice safe suburb where this wouldn't be so hard. And now y'all are telling me that you don't think people should be able to leave a 7 yr old in the car for 5 minutes at a pharmacy in a quiet and safe suburb because... reasons. It's ridiculous. I love being a mom but sometimes it feels like society is set up specifically to make it as hard as possible for no reason. I guarantee you that if men were the ones who were more likely to be out running errands with kids the cultural norm would be that of course you can leave a kid in the car and of course a security guard should keep one eye out for that kid. Because we design the world for men's convenience and women's burden.

It was really fun being banned from bringing older sibs to prenatal appointments while pregnant. I kept my high-risk pregnancy with midwives far longer than I should have because they make an attempt to honor appointment times. I have no idea what singe mothers of multiple kids do, what do you do if one of your kids is hospitalized? Zero help for moms, only judgment.

Single mothers build their own village of friends, colleagues and neighbors if they don't have any family in town.

I'm a military wife. So not single but solo parenting about 70% of the time (and 100% of the time fur months at a time). People always say to me "well at least you all have each other and the military fir support." Bull crap. I mean yes-- military wives help each other out and IF you are stationed at certain bases there is a network. But if you think that replaces having a society that actually gives a crap about kids or families, you're wrong. I'm tough and I don't complain but it doesn't mean I don't think the way this country treats moms and kids is stupid. Especially after being stationed in Germany for 2 years and seeing how other cultures do it.

Had it been me I would have told that security guard what for. He was wrong and needs to be educated. He was just mad that a kid in a car required him to actually do his job for 5 minutes (be alert and pay attention, call for help if needed) instead of sit on his laaaaasazy butt and pick his nose.

But sure, let's yell at the mom who is running errands with a kid in tow. Apparently she's the lazy one. Mmmhmm okay, sure.

You wouldn't have posted looking for support like OP did.

So it's ok if you far short of "standards" as long as you are quiet and ashamed about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parenting standards have changed so much. In the 80s nobody would question a 7 year old left in the car. Now we do. I won't be surprised when there are fewer babies born as the laws and requirements become even stricter for the next generation.

I don't think people are not having childten because children can't be left in the car!

How about women are tired of doing it all abd not getting help!

Np. Sometimes the help we need is to leave the kid in the car for 5 min. It’s hard dragging them in for tiny errands like dropping off a package at ups

Agree. It seems like such a small thing but it adds up. I live in a place where I can never leave my kid alone in a car (due to both the law and the fact that my area really just is not safe) and it creates all these logistical challenges that are a pain to figure out. If I take a sick kid to urgent care and they call in a prescription I have to take the sick kid into the pharmacy to pick it up on the way home or I have to take the kid home and wait for my spouse to get home from the office and then go get it (delaying when the kid can take medication). If we take our cat to the vet I have to finagle the kid and the cat from the car to the door of the vet which sucks because the carrier is heavy. If I forget something in our apartment when we go out of the house I have to unstrap the kid and bring her inside and do the whole thing all over again. It's exhausting.

I hate living in this city with a kid in part because I feel like nowhere is safe for her. DH's job has trapped us here for a few more years and I fantasize about living in a small town or a nice safe suburb where this wouldn't be so hard. And now y'all are telling me that you don't think people should be able to leave a 7 yr old in the car for 5 minutes at a pharmacy in a quiet and safe suburb because... reasons. It's ridiculous. I love being a mom but sometimes it feels like society is set up specifically to make it as hard as possible for no reason. I guarantee you that if men were the ones who were more likely to be out running errands with kids the cultural norm would be that of course you can leave a kid in the car and of course a security guard should keep one eye out for that kid. Because we design the world for men's convenience and women's burden.

It was really fun being banned from bringing older sibs to prenatal appointments while pregnant. I kept my high-risk pregnancy with midwives far longer than I should have because they make an attempt to honor appointment times. I have no idea what singe mothers of multiple kids do, what do you do if one of your kids is hospitalized? Zero help for moms, only judgment.

Single mothers build their own village of friends, colleagues and neighbors if they don't have any family in town.

I'm a military wife. So not single but solo parenting about 70% of the time (and 100% of the time fur months at a time). People always say to me "well at least you all have each other and the military fir support." Bull crap. I mean yes-- military wives help each other out and IF you are stationed at certain bases there is a network. But if you think that replaces having a society that actually gives a crap about kids or families, you're wrong. I'm tough and I don't complain but it doesn't mean I don't think the way this country treats moms and kids is stupid. Especially after being stationed in Germany for 2 years and seeing how other cultures do it.

Had it been me I would have told that security guard what for. He was wrong and needs to be educated. He was just mad that a kid in a car required him to actually do his job for 5 minutes (be alert and pay attention, call for help if needed) instead of sit on his laaaaasazy butt and pick his nose.

But sure, let's yell at the mom who is running errands with a kid in tow. Apparently she's the lazy one. Mmmhmm okay, sure.

You wouldn't have posted looking for support like OP did.

So it's ok if you far short of "standards" as long as you are quiet and ashamed about it.

She said she was tough and the military wives I know would not have posted about this. They are tough and too busy to whine about small things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you think what OP did was stupid?

Yes, clearly. How is that even a question?

DP. Because anyone who isn’t being hysterically judgmental thinks the kid was fine.

[Anonymous]

Holy shit you’re nuts op

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parenting standards have changed so much. In the 80s nobody would question a 7 year old left in the car. Now we do. I won't be surprised when there are fewer babies born as the laws and requirements become even stricter for the next generation.

I don't think people are not having childten because children can't be left in the car!

How about women are tired of doing it all abd not getting help!

Np. Sometimes the help we need is to leave the kid in the car for 5 min. It’s hard dragging them in for tiny errands like dropping off a package at ups

Agree. It seems like such a small thing but it adds up. I live in a place where I can never leave my kid alone in a car (due to both the law and the fact that my area really just is not safe) and it creates all these logistical challenges that are a pain to figure out. If I take a sick kid to urgent care and they call in a prescription I have to take the sick kid into the pharmacy to pick it up on the way home or I have to take the kid home and wait for my spouse to get home from the office and then go get it (delaying when the kid can take medication). If we take our cat to the vet I have to finagle the kid and the cat from the car to the door of the vet which sucks because the carrier is heavy. If I forget something in our apartment when we go out of the house I have to unstrap the kid and bring her inside and do the whole thing all over again. It's exhausting.

I hate living in this city with a kid in part because I feel like nowhere is safe for her. DH's job has trapped us here for a few more years and I fantasize about living in a small town or a nice safe suburb where this wouldn't be so hard. And now y'all are telling me that you don't think people should be able to leave a 7 yr old in the car for 5 minutes at a pharmacy in a quiet and safe suburb because... reasons. It's ridiculous. I love being a mom but sometimes it feels like society is set up specifically to make it as hard as possible for no reason. I guarantee you that if men were the ones who were more likely to be out running errands with kids the cultural norm would be that of course you can leave a kid in the car and of course a security guard should keep one eye out for that kid. Because we design the world for men's convenience and women's burden.

It was really fun being banned from bringing older sibs to prenatal appointments while pregnant. I kept my high-risk pregnancy with midwives far longer than I should have because they make an attempt to honor appointment times. I have no idea what singe mothers of multiple kids do, what do you do if one of your kids is hospitalized? Zero help for moms, only judgment.

Single mothers build their own village of friends, colleagues and neighbors if they don't have any family in town.

I'm a military wife. So not single but solo parenting about 70% of the time (and 100% of the time fur months at a time). People always say to me "well at least you all have each other and the military fir support." Bull crap. I mean yes-- military wives help each other out and IF you are stationed at certain bases there is a network. But if you think that replaces having a society that actually gives a crap about kids or families, you're wrong. I'm tough and I don't complain but it doesn't mean I don't think the way this country treats moms and kids is stupid. Especially after being stationed in Germany for 2 years and seeing how other cultures do it.

Had it been me I would have told that security guard what for. He was wrong and needs to be educated. He was just mad that a kid in a car required him to actually do his job for 5 minutes (be alert and pay attention, call for help if needed) instead of sit on his laaaaasazy butt and pick his nose.

But sure, let's yell at the mom who is running errands with a kid in tow. Apparently she's the lazy one. Mmmhmm okay, sure.

You wouldn't have posted looking for support like OP did.

So it's ok if you far short of "standards" as long as you are quiet and ashamed about it.

She said she was tough and the military wives I know would not have posted about this. They are tough and too busy to whine about small things.

So essentially yes. Fantastic. I have to say this thread is very illuminating as to why such a large percentage of middle aged women are on SSRIs