my husband's mother hit my kid

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not hard. My son was refusing to do something and giving her a hard time. She essentially spanked him on his leg. He didn't even cry- just yelled out "Ow! Don't hit me, Grammy!". I ran in from the other room and she admitted it right away. She said that she was really frustrated and apologized to both my son and me. I am SO angry but my husband is shrugging it off. He thinks I am being dramatic. I don't want her to babysit anymore. WWYD?

So you do gentle parenting? This is the result. Your DC is a brat and no one, but you, can deal with him.

I'm curious what OP does when their kid doesn't listen and gives OP a hard time. Like, let's say your kid refuses to put their shoes on to go to school. What would OP do?

What was the kid refusing to do exactly?

You would physically abuse a child for not putting on their shoes? That teaches them that that is ok and that they too can hit people for not doing what they want. Not a good lesson at all!

My sister and I were hit as kids not hard but like this. She has major issues because of being hit so says her therapist and she has so many issues and she’s in her 30s.

Your sister was gong to have major issues anyway. "So says her therapist...." lol. Her therapist just sees a cash cow she can milk for all she's worth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I wouldn’t let your mil watch the child alone. Tell her why and don’t let her alone with him or if you do set up cameras.

If I knew my kid was that difficult I never would have left them with Grandma to take a shower. If Grandma was taking kid to the park such that flip flops were inappropriate and my kid has known issues with shoes, I would have seen the two off to the park, then taken the shower. What was OP thinking?

[Anonymous]

DP the camera ideas are terrible! MIL knows she was wrong and apologized. She is well aware she screwed up, all this anger and advice of retaliation is ridiculous. Save that fervor for the people who still think it's OK to hit kids because that grandma seems more enlightened, despite the cost of a very unfortunate incident. Good people open to doing better learn from their mistakes and op can assess where MIL falls better than posters here. She is already doing better than parents here defending MIL's initial reaction.

[Anonymous]

OP still hasn't answered the question whether or not her son kicked grandma.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not hard. My son was refusing to do something and giving her a hard time. She essentially spanked him on his leg. He didn't even cry- just yelled out "Ow! Don't hit me, Grammy!". I ran in from the other room and she admitted it right away. She said that she was really frustrated and apologized to both my son and me. I am SO angry but my husband is shrugging it off. He thinks I am being dramatic. I don't want her to babysit anymore. WWYD?

Bfd. Swatted on the thigh for acting up and being late?

And why are you just sitting in your @$$ Op in another room making grandma try to get athletic shoes on your whiny, kicking, temper tantrumming brat kid and drive him to practice or whatever.

Pay a nanny to get kicked in the face by spoiled brats. She’ll quit and then you can go pay a second ones and third ones. Until you have some sense of behavioral expectations and consequences in your kids life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread seems to have triggered a lot of MILs.

Nah. This is a troll thread through and through. She posts both sides multiple times a day.
Keep it going troll!

[Anonymous]

Swat a leg.

Violence
Abuse
Trauma
Estrangement!

lol. Grow up. This is so lame.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You would immediately fire a nanny who behaved like this. That should tell you all you need to know about using MiL as a caregiver in the future.

The solution is for OP to spend more time caring for her own child instead of relying on her MIL.

Or hire competent caregivers. MIL clearly isn’t up to it.

Or OP. The kid has behavioral issues.

Even OP is scared of her kid. Puts the shoes near him but not on him. Wonder why.

Because OP is smart enough to know her kid will put them on himself when he sees mom is really leaving. This is the kind of approach often recommended to parents to avoid daily battles with children to get ready.

Hilarious. You have never met a strong willed kid.

+1. I tried this with my DS at the same age and he just watched me pull out of the driveway from a window.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You would immediately fire a nanny who behaved like this. That should tell you all you need to know about using MiL as a caregiver in the future.

The solution is for OP to spend more time caring for her own child instead of relying on her MIL.

Or hire competent caregivers. MIL clearly isn’t up to it.

Or OP. The kid has behavioral issues.

Even OP is scared of her kid. Puts the shoes near him but not on him. Wonder why.

Because OP is smart enough to know her kid will put them on himself when he sees mom is really leaving. This is the kind of approach often recommended to parents to avoid daily battles with children to get ready.

Hilarious. You have never met a strong willed kid.

+1. I tried this with my DS at the same age and he just watched me pull out of the driveway from a window.

I can see it. Also that kid won't "learn the lesson" and put his shoes on next time either. These kids are dead set on getting their way and won't back down for anything.

[Anonymous]

I am the OP- I walked away from this thread because the responses were so repetitive and turned into strangers on the internet talking about how horrible my four year old is.

My kid was definitely exhibiting bad behavior- not defending that. He was yanking his feet backwards out of her hands- not kicking her. She confirmed that. (I followed up with her). That is not a regular thing for him. In general, we don't have a hard time getting him to follow directions. My post was about whether or not you would be upset if an adult hit your child.
I had just gotten out of the shower which is why I didn't get there sooner.
I still don't think you should hit kids.
My MIL and I have a pretty formal relationship but get along fine.

I think the response of making it clear that can never happen again but moving on is what feels right for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You would immediately fire a nanny who behaved like this. That should tell you all you need to know about using MiL as a caregiver in the future.

The solution is for OP to spend more time caring for her own child instead of relying on her MIL.

Or hire competent caregivers. MIL clearly isn’t up to it.

Or OP. The kid has behavioral issues.

Even OP is scared of her kid. Puts the shoes near him but not on him. Wonder why.

Because OP is smart enough to know her kid will put them on himself when he sees mom is really leaving. This is the kind of approach often recommended to parents to avoid daily battles with children to get ready.

Hilarious. You have never met a strong willed kid.

+1. I tried this with my DS at the same age and he just watched me pull out of the driveway from a window.

Yup and yup

Say what you mean, and do what you say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread seems to have triggered a lot of MILs.

Nah. This is a troll thread through and through. She posts both sides multiple times a day.
Keep it going troll!

And then feigns (again), “I stepped away for a day or two (to doctor up my other troll threads) and can’t believe it!”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not hard. My son was refusing to do something and giving her a hard time. She essentially spanked him on his leg. He didn't even cry- just yelled out "Ow! Don't hit me, Grammy!". I ran in from the other room and she admitted it right away. She said that she was really frustrated and apologized to both my son and me. I am SO angry but my husband is shrugging it off. He thinks I am being dramatic. I don't want her to babysit anymore. WWYD?

So you do gentle parenting? This is the result. Your DC is a brat and no one, but you, can deal with him.

I'm curious what OP does when their kid doesn't listen and gives OP a hard time. Like, let's say your kid refuses to put their shoes on to go to school. What would OP do?

What was the kid refusing to do exactly?

You would physically abuse a child for not putting on their shoes? That teaches them that that is ok and that they too can hit people for not doing what they want. Not a good lesson at all!

My sister and I were hit as kids not hard but like this. She has major issues because of being hit so says her therapist and she has so many issues and she’s in her 30s.

Your sister was gong to have major issues anyway. "So says her therapist...." lol. Her therapist just sees a cash cow she can milk for all she's worth.

+1 goodness.. a few swats in childhood doesn't normally cause mental health issues as adults. That sister has other issues, clearly.

DH was swatted as a kid; I was physically abused. A swat is nothing like actual physical abuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You would immediately fire a nanny who behaved like this. That should tell you all you need to know about using MiL as a caregiver in the future.

The solution is for OP to spend more time caring for her own child instead of relying on her MIL.

Or hire competent caregivers. MIL clearly isn’t up to it.

Or OP. The kid has behavioral issues.

Even OP is scared of her kid. Puts the shoes near him but not on him. Wonder why.

Because OP is smart enough to know her kid will put them on himself when he sees mom is really leaving. This is the kind of approach often recommended to parents to avoid daily battles with children to get ready.

Hilarious. You have never met a strong willed kid.

+1. I tried this with my DS at the same age and he just watched me pull out of the driveway from a window.

I can see it. Also that kid won't "learn the lesson" and put his shoes on next time either. These kids are dead set on getting their way and won't back down for anything.

Sigh.
No they’re not.

Natural consequences work for 80% of the kids.

For adhd or asd kids you will need a bigger approach, doctors, meds and therapists. But for basic stuff like Be Ready To Leave the House, even neuroatypicals can accomplish that.

Kids pushing boundaries do so because they know a weak link pushover when they see it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You would immediately fire a nanny who behaved like this. That should tell you all you need to know about using MiL as a caregiver in the future.

The solution is for OP to spend more time caring for her own child instead of relying on her MIL.

Or hire competent caregivers. MIL clearly isn’t up to it.

Or OP. The kid has behavioral issues.

Even OP is scared of her kid. Puts the shoes near him but not on him. Wonder why.

Because OP is smart enough to know her kid will put them on himself when he sees mom is really leaving. This is the kind of approach often recommended to parents to avoid daily battles with children to get ready.

Hilarious. You have never met a strong willed kid.

+1. I tried this with my DS at the same age and he just watched me pull out of the driveway from a window.

I can see it. Also that kid won't "learn the lesson" and put his shoes on next time either. These kids are dead set on getting their way and won't back down for anything.

My kid 2 yr old refused to get into the car one day. Stood outside the house crying and throwing a tantrum. I thought if I got in the car, he'd come to me. Nope. Some kids are really really stubborn. TBF, I'm also very very stubborn.