Grandparents insist on taking my kids’ first class seats

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sixteen and fourteen year olds are fine in coach.

I'd definitely put my parents in first class so they are more comfortable.

This.

How is this even a question?

Grandparents take priority. Although I think they should have offered your kids more money. Like $250 each for spending money on the trip.

OP here. Round-trip business class tix IAD-ATH in August are about $7K, but coach was more like $1500. So my parents went with the cheaper and more affordable option even though they probably wanted business class. Now they want to switch. They assume our business class tix are basically free due to DH’s business travel and status. They could have bought business class tix, but chose not to do so.

Well, the tix are essentially free...so they are not wrong there.

We are going to Europe next month and paying about $7k in our own money for each ticket (jobs without travel).

Points/miles person here. The bolded is often said about using points/miles, but its incorrect. United miles don't expire, and they can be stored and instead used for future travel. So there is a significant opportunity cost involved in using them- OP said not long ago that it would be over 700k miles to fly the grandparents roundtrip in business- that's worth at a minimum $7000 in future travel for their family. While there may not have been a direct cash cost to get the miles, they are a valuable asset and thus there is cost involved in using them. And should also note that the type of travel OP's DH does to earn this many miles is not easy when you do it over and over and is essentially unpaid labor. There is absolutely a cost associated with earning them.

Thank you! And honestly as someone whose spouse travels a lot for work, those miles are hard earned. I really hate when people assume it’s free.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sixteen and fourteen year olds are fine in coach.

I'd definitely put my parents in first class so they are more comfortable.

This.

How is this even a question?

Grandparents take priority. Although I think they should have offered your kids more money. Like $250 each for spending money on the trip.

OP here. Round-trip business class tix IAD-ATH in August are about $7K, but coach was more like $1500. So my parents went with the cheaper and more affordable option even though they probably wanted business class. Now they want to switch. They assume our business class tix are basically free due to DH’s business travel and status. They could have bought business class tix, but chose not to do so.

Well, the tix are essentially free...so they are not wrong there.

We are going to Europe next month and paying about $7k in our own money for each ticket (jobs without travel).

Points/miles person here. The bolded is often said about using points/miles, but its incorrect. United miles don't expire, and they can be stored and instead used for future travel. So there is a significant opportunity cost involved in using them- OP said not long ago that it would be over 700k miles to fly the grandparents roundtrip in business- that's worth at a minimum $7000 in future travel for their family. While there may not have been a direct cash cost to get the miles, they are a valuable asset and thus there is cost involved in using them. And should also note that the type of travel OP's DH does to earn this many miles is not easy when you do it over and over and is essentially unpaid labor. There is absolutely a cost associated with earning them.

I cannot make it through all 26 pages. Did OP say why they did not use miles just the upgrade portion? Many people buy the coach ticket and then use miles to upgrade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unbelievable how the family dynamic is so selfish all around. I would definitely make my teenagers sit in coach and give my parents the upgraded seats. In fact it would give me so much joy to give up my seat to have my parents sit in comfort. Wait till you are your parents age. Your kids won’t be giving you any business class seats. SMH

I won't expect my kids to pay for my plane tickets. And I won't try to take seats from my grandkids. I'm an adult, and adults pay for their own plane tickets.

This is White people thinking. Just unbelievably self-focused.

It's self-focused to not expect my kids to pay for my airline tickets someday? Sure, if they wanted to and can afford to do so, I wouldn't object. But, it's incredibly self-focused to expect your kids to spend money on you.

Resources should flow downwards.

No. Resources should flow from well-off to less well-off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sixteen and fourteen year olds are fine in coach.

I'd definitely put my parents in first class so they are more comfortable.

This.

How is this even a question?

Grandparents take priority. Although I think they should have offered your kids more money. Like $250 each for spending money on the trip.

OP here. Round-trip business class tix IAD-ATH in August are about $7K, but coach was more like $1500. So my parents went with the cheaper and more affordable option even though they probably wanted business class. Now they want to switch. They assume our business class tix are basically free due to DH’s business travel and status. They could have bought business class tix, but chose not to do so.

Well, the tix are essentially free...so they are not wrong there.

We are going to Europe next month and paying about $7k in our own money for each ticket (jobs without travel).

Points/miles person here. The bolded is often said about using points/miles, but its incorrect. United miles don't expire, and they can be stored and instead used for future travel. So there is a significant opportunity cost involved in using them- OP said not long ago that it would be over 700k miles to fly the grandparents roundtrip in business- that's worth at a minimum $7000 in future travel for their family. While there may not have been a direct cash cost to get the miles, they are a valuable asset and thus there is cost involved in using them. And should also note that the type of travel OP's DH does to earn this many miles is not easy when you do it over and over and is essentially unpaid labor. There is absolutely a cost associated with earning them.

Thank you! And honestly as someone whose spouse travels a lot for work, those miles are hard earned. I really hate when people assume it’s free.

Was about to post the same thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't imagine sitting up in first with my teenagers while my parents flew coach.

If your husband is Global Services, kind of surprised he can't swing two upgrades for them as well.

OP said earlier they didn't have enough Plus Points left. Which makes sense especially if they used a bunch of PPs previously to upgrade some of the nuclear family.

Someone on Global Services doesn't have points after 4 tickets? So many of these details just don't add up. I think OP is a troll. She got us to 27 pages, so a good one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unbelievable how the family dynamic is so selfish all around. I would definitely make my teenagers sit in coach and give my parents the upgraded seats. In fact it would give me so much joy to give up my seat to have my parents sit in comfort. Wait till you are your parents age. Your kids won’t be giving you any business class seats. SMH

I won't expect my kids to pay for my plane tickets. And I won't try to take seats from my grandkids. I'm an adult, and adults pay for their own plane tickets.

This is White people thinking. Just unbelievably self-focused.

It's self-focused to not expect my kids to pay for my airline tickets someday? Sure, if they wanted to and can afford to do so, I wouldn't object. But, it's incredibly self-focused to expect your kids to spend money on you.

Resources should flow downwards.

No. Resources should flow from well-off to less well-off.

I just cannot put "resource" this category. It's a luxury item, not deciding how you are going to pay for college.

[Anonymous]

Maybe the kids would have given up their seats or the OP would have - it’s the demand of the seats that feels awful. They could have asked but it’s the if this or nothing nature of it that makes it easy to feel that the grandparents shouldn’t get the better seats.

If you are going to take the coach seats, you want to feel good about it. They made it all feel icky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unbelievable how the family dynamic is so selfish all around. I would definitely make my teenagers sit in coach and give my parents the upgraded seats. In fact it would give me so much joy to give up my seat to have my parents sit in comfort. Wait till you are your parents age. Your kids won’t be giving you any business class seats. SMH

I won't expect my kids to pay for my plane tickets. And I won't try to take seats from my grandkids. I'm an adult, and adults pay for their own plane tickets.

This is White people thinking. Just unbelievably self-focused.

It's self-focused to not expect my kids to pay for my airline tickets someday? Sure, if they wanted to and can afford to do so, I wouldn't object. But, it's incredibly self-focused to expect your kids to spend money on you.

Resources should flow downwards.

No. Resources should flow from well-off to less well-off.

I just cannot put "resource" this category. It's a luxury item, not deciding how you are going to pay for college.

It's a type of currency, so it's certainly a resource. Resources that DH acquired through his hard work. I'm guessing that the reason DH works hard is to provide for his kids, not his in-laws. They should benefit from Dad's efforts, and travel in luxury with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your parents are selfish entitled jerks. Normally I'd offer to trade the seats, but the way they're going about it makes me never want to vacation with them again.

Honestly I'd call their bluff and say so be it.

The grandparents sure have a strong sense of entitlement here. I mean, if flying first class was SOOOO important to them that they knew they would not go on the trip without being in first class seats, why didn't they book their seats as soon as they knew about the trip? I think you are dealing with some very difficult people who are used to pushing you around. Probably a history of this since you are their child.

I don't think you own the grandparents the first class seats that you booked for your own family. I think you could ASK your kids if they would be willing to switch, but tell them they have no obligation -- even that seems unfair to teens who will feel pressured to comply. It's not right to put that burden on the teens. Honestly, I feel like the grandparents are putting a cloud over the whole trip by demanding something from you that they weren't willing to get by themselves.

Do the grandparents legitimately have a health issue that they truly need the extra space? Or do they just want it? Maybe you appease them this one time, but know in your heart who they really are. That would be a longer term consequence. These are not good people.

[Anonymous]

I’d probably have grandparents take one direction and the kids the other in first. But it would be the last time I invited my parents on vacation with my family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't imagine sitting up in first with my teenagers while my parents flew coach.

If your husband is Global Services, kind of surprised he can't swing two upgrades for them as well.

OP said earlier they didn't have enough Plus Points left. Which makes sense especially if they used a bunch of PPs previously to upgrade some of the nuclear family.

Someone on Global Services doesn't have points after 4 tickets? So many of these details just don't add up. I think OP is a troll. She got us to 27 pages, so a good one.

Difference between miles earned that can be used directly to book (limited) award tickets, versus what United calls "Plus Points" that can be used to upgrade cash tickets. Plus Points are not awarded with each flight. They are given in chunks at certain milestones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sixteen and fourteen year olds are fine in coach.

I'd definitely put my parents in first class so they are more comfortable.

This.

How is this even a question?

Grandparents take priority. Although I think they should have offered your kids more money. Like $250 each for spending money on the trip.

OP here. Round-trip business class tix IAD-ATH in August are about $7K, but coach was more like $1500. So my parents went with the cheaper and more affordable option even though they probably wanted business class. Now they want to switch. They assume our business class tix are basically free due to DH’s business travel and status. They could have bought business class tix, but chose not to do so.

Well, the tix are essentially free...so they are not wrong there.

We are going to Europe next month and paying about $7k in our own money for each ticket (jobs without travel).

Points/miles person here. The bolded is often said about using points/miles, but its incorrect. United miles don't expire, and they can be stored and instead used for future travel. So there is a significant opportunity cost involved in using them- OP said not long ago that it would be over 700k miles to fly the grandparents roundtrip in business- that's worth at a minimum $7000 in future travel for their family. While there may not have been a direct cash cost to get the miles, they are a valuable asset and thus there is cost involved in using them. And should also note that the type of travel OP's DH does to earn this many miles is not easy when you do it over and over and is essentially unpaid labor. There is absolutely a cost associated with earning them.

I cannot make it through all 26 pages. Did OP say why they did not use miles just the upgrade portion? Many people buy the coach ticket and then use miles to upgrade.

Yes. That type of upgrade is usually oversubscribed and subject to a wait-list which the grandparents would not clear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unbelievable how the family dynamic is so selfish all around. I would definitely make my teenagers sit in coach and give my parents the upgraded seats. In fact it would give me so much joy to give up my seat to have my parents sit in comfort. Wait till you are your parents age. Your kids won’t be giving you any business class seats. SMH

I won't expect my kids to pay for my plane tickets. And I won't try to take seats from my grandkids. I'm an adult, and adults pay for their own plane tickets.

This is White people thinking. Just unbelievably self-focused.

It's self-focused to not expect my kids to pay for my airline tickets someday? Sure, if they wanted to and can afford to do so, I wouldn't object. But, it's incredibly self-focused to expect your kids to spend money on you.

Resources should flow downwards.

No. Resources should flow from well-off to less well-off.

I just cannot put "resource" this category. It's a luxury item, not deciding how you are going to pay for college.

It's a type of currency, so it's certainly a resource. Resources that DH acquired through his hard work. I'm guessing that the reason DH works hard is to provide for his kids, not his in-laws. They should benefit from Dad's efforts, and travel in luxury with him.

+ 1 I’m a DW who is the primary breadwinner in our family and while it saddens me that my work limits the amount of time I’m able to spend with my kids on a day to day basis I get great pleasure in planning special trips together and treating my children to luxuries I didn’t have growing up. If my DH invited his parents/my in-laws (that I already tolerate at best) to join our trip with us subsidizing them and they then had the gaul to demand my kids give up their more desirable seats that I had worked hard to provide, splitting up our nuclear family, I would completely lose it. And yes I would feel the same way about my own biological family members trying to pull this garbage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sixteen and fourteen year olds are fine in coach.

I'd definitely put my parents in first class so they are more comfortable.

This.

How is this even a question?

Grandparents take priority. Although I think they should have offered your kids more money. Like $250 each for spending money on the trip.

OP here. Round-trip business class tix IAD-ATH in August are about $7K, but coach was more like $1500. So my parents went with the cheaper and more affordable option even though they probably wanted business class. Now they want to switch. They assume our business class tix are basically free due to DH’s business travel and status. They could have bought business class tix, but chose not to do so.

Well, the tix are essentially free...so they are not wrong there.

We are going to Europe next month and paying about $7k in our own money for each ticket (jobs without travel).

Points/miles person here. The bolded is often said about using points/miles, but its incorrect. United miles don't expire, and they can be stored and instead used for future travel. So there is a significant opportunity cost involved in using them- OP said not long ago that it would be over 700k miles to fly the grandparents roundtrip in business- that's worth at a minimum $7000 in future travel for their family. While there may not have been a direct cash cost to get the miles, they are a valuable asset and thus there is cost involved in using them. And should also note that the type of travel OP's DH does to earn this many miles is not easy when you do it over and over and is essentially unpaid labor. There is absolutely a cost associated with earning them.

I cannot make it through all 26 pages. Did OP say why they did not use miles just the upgrade portion? Many people buy the coach ticket and then use miles to upgrade.

Yes. That type of upgrade is usually oversubscribed and subject to a wait-list which the grandparents would not clear.

OP here. DH booked our original tickets IAD-ATH in a complicated way. DH and DD are on one round-trip itinerary. They used several travel certificates on discounted coach tickets and then applied 320 PlusPoints to upgrade to Polaris Business Class. The two coach tickets were like $900 each, but fully offset by the the travel certificates (given by United due to previous trip irrops / voluntary giving up of seat stuff). The second itinerary was for me and DS. This was booked with 320K FF miles - 2 tickets 100K outbound + 60K return. We usually pair one kid with one adult to avoid unaccompanied minor and no-status problems with kids on their own itinerary. Also, I have gifted GS status from DH, so I can still get priority upgrades without being on his record locator.

But, there’s no upgrade inventory available now for my parents using miles or PlusPoints. DH still has a lot of both. Waitlist only, which DH is confident will not clear for my parents. He called. No way. Only cash upgrades are available and they are $$expensive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did the OP ever come back to say who is paying for the cruise? Are the parents paying their own way there or are OP and spouse paying for everyone?

She has said this several times. Read the thread.

I have read the whole thread and I can’t find where the OP said how they are all paying for the cruise. I could only find a post where she said her husband is using hotel points to cover the night before and after the cruise for everyone.

Could you help me find the post where she answered who is paying for the cruise? I’d appreciate the help since I can’t find it. Thank you!