Grandparents insist on taking my kids’ first class seats

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I read the OP's message I first thought that she and her husband should give up their seats, go back into steerage, and eat some humble pie.

Or better yet, the whole darn family gets bumped into coach.

Interesting- I first thought why on earth did she invite her entitled horrible sounding parents on this vacation in the first place and that she will only increasingly regret the decision as the trip progresses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sixteen and fourteen year olds are fine in coach.

I'd definitely put my parents in first class so they are more comfortable.

This.

How is this even a question?

Grandparents take priority. Although I think they should have offered your kids more money. Like $250 each for spending money on the trip.

OP here. Round-trip business class tix IAD-ATH in August are about $7K, but coach was more like $1500. So my parents went with the cheaper and more affordable option even though they probably wanted business class. Now they want to switch. They assume our business class tix are basically free due to DH’s business travel and status. They could have bought business class tix, but chose not to do so.

Well, the tix are essentially free...so they are not wrong there.

We are going to Europe next month and paying about $7k in our own money for each ticket (jobs without travel).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unbelievable how the family dynamic is so selfish all around. I would definitely make my teenagers sit in coach and give my parents the upgraded seats. In fact it would give me so much joy to give up my seat to have my parents sit in comfort. Wait til you are your parents age. Your kids won’t be giving you any business class seats. SMH

I won't expect my kids to pay for my plane tickets. And I won't try to take seats from my grandkids. I'm an adult, and adults pay for their own plane tickets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the parents wanted to sit in first class so badly, why didn't they purchase first class to begin with?

Because they didn't want to pay for it. They figured they could whine and guilt their way into first class.

It's the typical Boomer mentality. They want the most expensive option, but want someone else to pay for it.

This.

Normally, I would always say put the kids in coach and put the adults in 1st class, but these grandparents are being awful. I would seriously want to cancel the entire trip.

I’m a boomer and we pay for our kids and grandkids.
The reason is not all of them are in the same income bracket. If we were to get together as a family, some could afford to travel, and some could not.
So do we as parents/grandparents only pay for the ones who can’t afford it? The answer is no. We pay for all.
Don’t be so quick to judge boomers. I’m still trying to figure out how we raised a bunch of entitled brats!

That's how my grandparents were- they always paid for big family stuff. I distinctly remember them saying things like "hey we are just spending your inheritance". They would never ever have let their adult children pay for anything on their behalf. I know some people here are talking about values of respecting elders, etc, but there are often competing values that others may prioritize. Doesn't make you a bad person.

Same, my grandparents took us to Europe multiple times and my parents take my siblings and family on vacations. I can’t imagine my parents trying to boot my kids out of 1st.

My grandparents lived in a small trailer their whole lives.

Um, and?

so they could not pay for luxury trips for everyone even if they wanted to.

my parents would never demand a business class ticket. My kids would never let grandparents sit in coach while they sit in business. I think if we were in such a situation, my DH and I would have moved to coach and let the kids and grandparents be in business . Though frankly, my kids only play video games and would not care where they sat.

-DP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unbelievable how the family dynamic is so selfish all around. I would definitely make my teenagers sit in coach and give my parents the upgraded seats. In fact it would give me so much joy to give up my seat to have my parents sit in comfort. Wait till you are your parents age. Your kids won’t be giving you any business class seats. SMH

I won't expect my kids to pay for my plane tickets. And I won't try to take seats from my grandkids. I'm an adult, and adults pay for their own plane tickets.

This is White people thinking. Just unbelievably self-focused.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unbelievable how the family dynamic is so selfish all around. I would definitely make my teenagers sit in coach and give my parents the upgraded seats. In fact it would give me so much joy to give up my seat to have my parents sit in comfort. Wait till you are your parents age. Your kids won’t be giving you any business class seats. SMH

+1
The entire family is trashy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unbelievable how the family dynamic is so selfish all around. I would definitely make my teenagers sit in coach and give my parents the upgraded seats. In fact it would give me so much joy to give up my seat to have my parents sit in comfort. Wait till you are your parents age. Your kids won’t be giving you any business class seats. SMH

I won't expect my kids to pay for my plane tickets. And I won't try to take seats from my grandkids. I'm an adult, and adults pay for their own plane tickets.

This is White people thinking. Just unbelievably self-focused.

It's self-focused to not expect my kids to pay for my airline tickets someday? Sure, if they wanted to and can afford to do so, I wouldn't object. But, it's incredibly self-focused to expect your kids to spend money on you.

Resources should flow downwards.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unbelievable how the family dynamic is so selfish all around. I would definitely make my teenagers sit in coach and give my parents the upgraded seats. In fact it would give me so much joy to give up my seat to have my parents sit in comfort. Wait till you are your parents age. Your kids won’t be giving you any business class seats. SMH

I won't expect my kids to pay for my plane tickets. And I won't try to take seats from my grandkids. I'm an adult, and adults pay for their own plane tickets.

This is White people thinking. Just unbelievably self-focused.

So many comments one could make here

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone here would make me mad. The parents demanding the first class seats. The kid who won’t give up her first class seat. The husband who is mad. In the end, my responsibility is to raise my kids properly, so I would make the kids give up the seats. Or I would just cancel the whole thing since everyone sounds like a jerk.

Yes - I'd cancel the trip for the kids and grandparents and go with my husband.

What did the son do wrong? This is a trip OP booked for her nuclear family, they were thoughtful in including her parents and are k ow being taken advantage of. If my parents did this, I would grudgingly force my kids to switch seats, and be honest about the fact that their grandparents are acting like brats, but this would be the last time we would ever travel with my parents.

+1000

Grandparents are acting like brats, being demanding after you are already paying for hotel, etc. However, I would still have the kids switch, but let them know the grandparents behavior is not an acceptable way to act when someone is generously gifting you a vacation (and even if they were paying their own way for the whole trip - still not acceptable).

[Anonymous]

I think if my kids heard their grandparents were in steerage while we were up front, they would feel weird about it and offer up their seats without being asked by either their grandparents or us.

My parents wouldn't "insist" or even ask because the kids would have already offered without being paid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sixteen and fourteen year olds are fine in coach.

I'd definitely put my parents in first class so they are more comfortable.

This.

How is this even a question?

Grandparents take priority. Although I think they should have offered your kids more money. Like $250 each for spending money on the trip.

OP here. Round-trip business class tix IAD-ATH in August are about $7K, but coach was more like $1500. So my parents went with the cheaper and more affordable option even though they probably wanted business class. Now they want to switch. They assume our business class tix are basically free due to DH’s business travel and status. They could have bought business class tix, but chose not to do so.

Well, the tix are essentially free...so they are not wrong there.

We are going to Europe next month and paying about $7k in our own money for each ticket (jobs without travel).

Points/miles person here. The bolded is often said about using points/miles, but its incorrect. United miles don't expire, and they can be stored and instead used for future travel. So there is a significant opportunity cost involved in using them- OP said not long ago that it would be over 700k miles to fly the grandparents roundtrip in business- that's worth at a minimum $7000 in future travel for their family. While there may not have been a direct cash cost to get the miles, they are a valuable asset and thus there is cost involved in using them. And should also note that the type of travel OP's DH does to earn this many miles is not easy when you do it over and over and is essentially unpaid labor. There is absolutely a cost associated with earning them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree that you should be giving the first class seats to your parents, but it also rude for them to demand it.

+1

Your parents are being jerks but they should get the seats. They will be dead one day. This is not a hill I would personally choose to die on...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sixteen and fourteen year olds are fine in coach.

I'd definitely put my parents in first class so they are more comfortable.

This.

How is this even a question?

Grandparents take priority. Although I think they should have offered your kids more money. Like $250 each for spending money on the trip.

OP here. Round-trip business class tix IAD-ATH in August are about $7K, but coach was more like $1500. So my parents went with the cheaper and more affordable option even though they probably wanted business class. Now they want to switch. They assume our business class tix are basically free due to DH’s business travel and status. They could have bought business class tix, but chose not to do so.

Well, the tix are essentially free...so they are not wrong there.

We are going to Europe next month and paying about $7k in our own money for each ticket (jobs without travel).

Points/miles person here. The bolded is often said about using points/miles, but its incorrect. United miles don't expire, and they can be stored and instead used for future travel. So there is a significant opportunity cost involved in using them- OP said not long ago that it would be over 700k miles to fly the grandparents roundtrip in business- that's worth at a minimum $7000 in future travel for their family. While there may not have been a direct cash cost to get the miles, they are a valuable asset and thus there is cost involved in using them. And should also note that the type of travel OP's DH does to earn this many miles is not easy when you do it over and over and is essentially unpaid labor. There is absolutely a cost associated with earning them.

The equivalent might be thought of like saying you had $100k in cash savings, and put it in a bank account earning 4%. In a year you have a new $4k. You could say that was "free money", but it's not like you didn't take any action to earn it, and it's not like someone else can reasonably say to you "well you didn't pay anything for that $4k, can you give it to me?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sixteen and fourteen year olds are fine in coach.

I'd definitely put my parents in first class so they are more comfortable.

This.

How is this even a question?

Grandparents take priority. Although I think they should have offered your kids more money. Like $250 each for spending money on the trip.

OP here. Round-trip business class tix IAD-ATH in August are about $7K, but coach was more like $1500. So my parents went with the cheaper and more affordable option even though they probably wanted business class. Now they want to switch. They assume our business class tix are basically free due to DH’s business travel and status. They could have bought business class tix, but chose not to do so.

Well, the tix are essentially free...so they are not wrong there.

We are going to Europe next month and paying about $7k in our own money for each ticket (jobs without travel).

They are not free. Anyone who says this is an idiot.

[Anonymous]

One way kids use them, one way elders do.