How have you handled kid dumping

[Anonymous]

Having an issue with sister dumping (or trying) to dump her kid on me for ridiculous reasons.

I don't have kids but I have a job that is flexible which she takes as though it means I can babysit anytime for her

I tell her I can't and make myself busy but I have having a hard time finding the right words to get her off my back about it so I don't have to keep telling her no and dealing with her crabbiness and anger that I won't take care of her child

[Anonymous]

How old is your niece/nephew?

[Anonymous]

2

[Anonymous]

Also, let me mention that although flexible I am required 40+ hours a week..

[Anonymous]

Just the fact that you referred to it as "kid dumping" tells me what kind of person you are.

[Anonymous]

Perhaps try defining certain dates/times that you are free to babysit, rather than leaving yourself "open" for random times. You won't be taken advantage of, because you are more control over the scheduling, and if she wants to use your services, she'll need to do a better job accommodating your actual, rather than perceived, availability.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just the fact that you referred to it as "kid dumping" tells me what kind of person you are.

[Anonymous]

Just say you are not feeling well. My siblings and I have helped each other out with childcare a few times, but we don't take advantage of it. However, keep in mind that if you ever have kids, you will want her help, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just the fact that you referred to it as "kid dumping" tells me what kind of person you are.

Yes, OP, you should ask yourself what being part of a family means to you. The "kid" being "dumped" on you is part of your family, no? Are you an adult in their life, someone they can learn to count on to take care of them? Or not? Sad attitude. I speak as someone with no family help but I help others when they need it, no questions asked.

[Anonymous]

I'm confused. Did you offer to watch your niece on your days off? I only know one family where an aunt is pitching in for childcare on a weekly basis and she signed up for that a long time ago, with the intention of being the childcare plan for Fridays - seems cultural, as far as I can tell.

If you didn't, then how did your sister come to expect it? Give her a heads up today that you're not free on Friday. You'll have to re-establish the expectations here. If you're willing to do once a month date night babysitting (which would be awesome of you), then next time she refers to leaving her kid with you all day Friday - say, "I can't do all day Friday but I can do next Saturday evening if you & BIL want to go out."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just the fact that you referred to it as "kid dumping" tells me what kind of person you are.

The kind of person with her own life who shouldn't be on call to take care of someone else's kid that is dumped on them.


--NP, mother of two.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just the fact that you referred to it as "kid dumping" tells me what kind of person you are.

Yes, OP, you should ask yourself what being part of a family means to you. The "kid" being "dumped" on you is part of your family, no? Are you an adult in their life, someone they can learn to count on to take care of them? Or not? Sad attitude. I speak as someone with no family help but I help others when they need it, no questions asked.

It's not a sad attitude to not want to be at someone else's beck and call for free child sitting services. Clearly you're one of the users. Being part of a family doesn't mean providing constant free services to them.

[Anonymous]

Just say "Sorry Kim; I can't watch Ella tomorrow. But I'd love to take her to brunch on Sunday from 9-11; does that work for you?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just the fact that you referred to it as "kid dumping" tells me what kind of person you are.

The kind of person with her own life who shouldn't be on call to take care of someone else's kid that is dumped on them.


--NP, mother of two.

This isn't "someone else's kid" -- it's her sibling and her niece or nephew. Her family.

[Anonymous]

Handcuff the kid to a radiator and go about your daily business.