On-call, anxiously waiting for embryo transfer

[Anonymous]

So this is our first IVF attempt after 2 failed IUI. We're anxiously waiting to find out if we will transfer tomorrow at 11am or if they will make it to day 5 for transfer. Trying not to be stressed out but find myself stressed out crying, etc. I'm worried my stress hormones may both up the transfer. I'm sure part of this is the estrogen/progesterone they have me on. Husband doesn't seem to get it. When I told him all the embryos look good and we're tentatively scheduled for tomorrow at 11am. He just asked does the transfer have to be at 11:00am b/c he needs to work. I bursted out crying...is this normal. I feel like he doesn't get it! Will the stress hormone create a toxic environment for the embryo?

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry to hear that. He needs to take a step back and realize that this isn't something you can look at without emotion-plus he has the strong advantage of being able to not have all those hormones added to his body. That is frustrating! How did he respond when you cried? I would have cried too. You guys are entering a huge new world of responsibility so make sure you stay communicating because you will need his support way after the child is born Good luck to you! Hope all goes well. I'm sure you will do great-he is probably nervous too.

[Anonymous]

OP - YES, it is totally normal to be stressed or on edge...but as much as you can try to re-direct your thoughts and concentrate on happy, relaxing thoughts. YES, it is normal for DH to just not get all the related stress with TTC - obviously some are better than others in the empathy department. Make sure you let him know how this is effecting you.

I also recommend contacting a female friend if you need distraction or coping (either from TCC or DH)!

[Anonymous]

PP - Forgot to add - GOOD LUCK!!! I always tried to concentrate on 'sticky' thoughts for 48 hours!

[Anonymous]

OP here: thank you all for your support. The hormone are in overdrive. I'm totally distending looking like I'm 8 months preggo when I'm not and walking and moving slowly. DH just told me he called and moved our transfer time to 1pm from 11am b/c he has an important meeting from 10:00am until 12:15pm. I'm thinking if we do a day 3 transfer it's b/c the embryos are not doing too well so they need to go back in quick, so probably not a good idea to keep them out 3 extra hours! Plus it takes us about 45 minutes to drive up to Rockville and they tell you to get there 30 minutes beforehand.....OK, I'll just have to pray that this works b/c if his work schedule decreased our chances of getting pregnant then I think I'll always be blaming him. I don't think I can go through IVF again so this is our last effort...more stress I know. Why is work so much more important than family to guys?

[Anonymous]

I'm stressed for you but I think it's going to be ok. I guess you can't meet him there since you can't drive home afterwards right?

[Anonymous]

I was wondering from your other post how things are going.

I don't think ET is all that time sensitive. But if you're really worried about the timing, could you maybe have someone else drive you and he could meet you there afterwards?

How many embryos are you transferring?

GOOD LUCK!

[Anonymous]

OP here: I believe they said 2 embryo transfer if on day 3 and 2 if on day 5. After reading the other posts, i'm a bit worried about that since I turn 39 this year. They revtrieves over 10 eggs and fertilized most and they are all wel this morning. They said 11am, so my DH changing it to 1pm makes me a bitupset that he's changing it for his convenience sake and not for what's best for the embryos (our future child). That embryo-child should come first not his job. I debated about asking a friend or family but felt embarassed to tell them that my DH is a doorknob and puts his work before his family. I really hope it's Saturday for the transfer. Hopefully the embryos are healthy and continue to do well in the petri dish and can hold on until Saturday.

[Anonymous]

OP here: oops meant 1 if on day5. Did your RE tell you 1 or 2 if on day 5 if you're over 35?

[Anonymous]

Good Luck OP, I will be going thru the same drill in a few weeks and I'm 39 as well. As for your husband, I'm so sorry he's not making this a priority AS IT SHOULD BE!!! For the amount of time, money and effort that goes into an IVF it should go first and foremost. I will keep my fingers crossed for a 5 day tranfer for you!!! Best Wishes and try to relax!

[Anonymous]

Don't worry about the stress. I was completely stressed out before, during, and after my embryo transfer. And my husband didn't quite share my stress or understand it either. But I watched alot of Oprah, read magazines, books, and just laid on the couch for at least two full days after. I even put a couple of pillows under my legs. Only got up to go to the bathroom! My husband doesn't usually share my anxiety over things because he's just a laid back person in general. But he did help out alot. He brought me my meals and I ate on the couch. He cooked or got takeout. Just try to look for enjoyable distractions. I know it's hard, but try.

[Anonymous]

PP here. And the results of my invitro - my 5 yo boy is now sound asleep in his room.

[Anonymous]

GL OP I'm rooting for you- we have an IVF miracle child at 1 year old.. I had 3 eggs- 2 fertilized normally and were put in- 1 was a blighted ovum and one is our child! It takes one but I so know the stress- we have been in TTC stress with REs for 5 years.. and we have 2 healthy kids

[Anonymous]

Good luck, OP, and keep us posted. And try not to take it out on DH: remember, it's quite likely that it is his job (insurance, $$, etc.) that is making all of these expensive medical procedures possible in the first place. Of course IVF is a huge deal, but that doesn't mean that the rest of the world stops spinning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:GL OP I'm rooting for you- we have an IVF miracle child at 1 year old.. I had 3 eggs- 2 fertilized normally and were put in- 1 was a blighted ovum and one is our child! It takes one but I so know the stress- we have been in TTC stress with REs for 5 years.. and we have 2 healthy kids

OP here: if oyu don't mind me asking, did they transfer at day 3 or day 5? It looks like we're doing a day 5 transfer and I'm wooried about complications if they put in 2 and both take, esp with higher risk of prematuiryt with twins. of course it didn't help that I was watching TLC's "Deaf and Blind Triplets" last night. Thanks.