I hate my best friend's kid

[Anonymous]

My best friend (since middle school, we are now both in our late 30s) has a daughter who is 7. My daughters are 8 and 6. BF's daughter is awful. She is manipulative, nasty, mean little girl. She taunts other kids, teases them and pouts when she doesn't get her way.

Just two small examples (but these are two of many) all the girls were racing this last weekend on bikes. When BF's daughter wins, she will turn around and say things like "I won, I won, you are a loser, you lost, you loser". My girls don't really care, but I can tell they get annoyed. Another time, another kid we were playing with found a cool rock. She was all excited and said "Hey look!" BF's kid came up, snatched it right out of her hands and then ran away. BF was not around so I said "please give that back" and BF's kid THREW it at the girl and stomped away. Another time, her mother disciplined her for something and she was very contrite but then once my BF turned her back, BF's kid looked another girl right in the eye and said "I hate you" and pulled her hair.

I want to be able to hang out with my best friend and our kids, but my daughters don't like her daughter and frankly, neither do I. She is just a brat, plain and simple. Do I only start seeing my BF when kids are not around?

[Anonymous]

1. Your kids have to deal with the fact they sometimes have to deal with a situation is not to their liking.

Or

2. You teach them the world revolves around them and dump your friend.

[Anonymous]

I totally could have started this thread. Ugh!!! I have a friend that I absolutely adore but her DD is a brat for the record books. I've just limited my time with the friend and don't accept playdate invites anymore. I also don't want her in my house.

My situation is a little different because this person isn't my BFF but it's very difficult when you really like someone but HATE their kid. I hate to say it but I judge the parents. I'm just waiting for the high school and college years when the DD will get her comeuppance (if she doesn't mature or change her behavior).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. Your kids have to deal with the fact they sometimes have to deal with a situation is not to their liking.

Or

2. You teach them the world revolves around them and dump your friend.

This +1.

[Anonymous]

That kid sounds awful. Ugh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. Your kids have to deal with the fact they sometimes have to deal with a situation is not to their liking.

Or

2. You teach them the world revolves around them and dump your friend.

-1

That little girl sounds like an asshole and the mother sounds completely oblivious.

[Anonymous]

Wow, a child acts childishly. How shocking. How unexpected.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. Your kids have to deal with the fact they sometimes have to deal with a situation is not to their liking.

Or

2. You teach them the world revolves around them and dump your friend.

Total B.S. Why subject your kid to asshole kids just because you want to remain friends with someone. My mother's BFF had a son and we were the same age. He was the meanest, nastiest, ugliest, most awful person I've ever known. Whenever we were in situations where are mothers were together, my mother always kept an eye on him to make sure he wasn't torturing me. As soon as he looked liked he was going to do something nutty, my mother was in his face. He was so, so, so, so, so mean to EVERYONE. My mother was the only one who got in his face and threatened to kick his ass if he touched me. He spit a louie on me once and my mother pinched him so hard that he cried. He never bothered me after that. You know what... his mother NEVER got mad at my mother. I think secretly she was happy that someone was dealing with him.

Fast forward... he was shot and killed about 15 years ago so karma really did come back on him. He was a despicable human being. I can only imagine what his life would be like now if he had lived to be 40.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. Your kids have to deal with the fact they sometimes have to deal with a situation is not to their liking.

Or

2. You teach them the world revolves around them and dump your friend.

OP here. I see your point, and in school obviously this is the case (dealing with the fact that my kids will sometimes have to deal with a situation that is not to their liking) but if it is an environment that I can somewhat control, should they have to put up with that?

I guess I just answered my own question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. Your kids have to deal with the fact they sometimes have to deal with a situation is not to their liking.

Or

2. You teach them the world revolves around them and dump your friend.

-1

That little girl sounds like an asshole and the mother sounds completely oblivious.

-2

I will never understand why some parents think that you and your child should be the training ground for other children's bad behavior when that child's parent ignores their behavior. A bad behaving child is often tolerable if their parent stays on top of them with correction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. Your kids have to deal with the fact they sometimes have to deal with a situation is not to their liking.

Or

2. You teach them the world revolves around them and dump your friend.

-1

That little girl sounds like an asshole and the mother sounds completely oblivious.

-2

I will never understand why some parents think that you and your child should be the training ground for other children's bad behavior when that child's parent ignores their behavior. A bad behaving child is often tolerable if their parent stays on top of them with correction.

Same- plus the only reason your kids are around this kid is because of your friendship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. Your kids have to deal with the fact they sometimes have to deal with a situation is not to their liking.

Or

2. You teach them the world revolves around them and dump your friend.

-1

That little girl sounds like an asshole and the mother sounds completely oblivious.

-2

I will never understand why some parents think that you and your child should be the training ground for other children's bad behavior when that child's parent ignores their behavior. A bad behaving child is often tolerable if their parent stays on top of them with correction.

The point I got from that is that your children will eventually be around other people who behave badly. The examples given don't represent any physical harm to OP's kids, and I would see it as an opporunity to teach them how to react when others misbehave. Being able to get along with a difficult person is a very useful skill.

Although in OP's place, I would be talking to the mom/my friend ASAP, along the lines of "WTF is wrong with your kid?"

[Anonymous]

Separate. Do not subject your child to monster girl.

My kid is well-behaved and easygoing. As pp said, he is viewed as good buddy material for everyone else's ill-behaved child. Teachers sit the troubled kid next to him hoping his good influence rubs off. That is all well and good except at some point I feel my child isn't being allowed to express that he would rather not be the assigned buddy in class or on playdates. Even I pushed him for too long into those situations. Now if he's OK with it we go with it, but I don't force him to endure someone who is disrespectful to him (regardless of their situation) if he would rather not. He'll have a whole life of being in these situations without his own parent setting them up regularly.

[Anonymous]

It's not fair to your children to subject to this girl so that you can socialize. It's not school or some other place where they just have to deal.

Time to limit the friendship to adults only activities. Maybe the girl will grow out of her brattiness in time, but until then, limit the children's interaction.

Bummer, OP.

[Anonymous]

I was at a family/childrens event the other day when I saw from a distance that my child was acting up, age 7. I was walking over to my child when another parent who was by my child stepped in and firmly told my child to stop. My child listened. As I finally got there, I said thanks, and we started chit chatting. I know some people don't like to discipline other kids but for me, I love it. Don't be scared to step in and say something.