Toxic Masculinity

[Anonymous]

There was a story on wtop yesterday on how teen boys are now affected by social media algorithms and instructed how to be, essentially toxically masculine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just saw a post about a study claiming 55% of women find it a red flag if a man listens to joe rogan lol. Good riddance.

Joe Rogan voted for Bernie Sanders. Twice.

Which shows toxic men is not just a MAGA issue.

[Anonymous]

What is toxic masculinity versus regular masculinity? Genuinely asking. Most boys do feel natural being gasp masculine.

[Anonymous]

Dems lose all credibility on this issue with the way they swoon over slimy cad Bill Clinton.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is toxic masculinity versus regular masculinity? Genuinely asking. Most boys do feel natural being gasp masculine.

I’m married to a guy who is pretty stereotypically masculine (LEO). My dad, grandfathers, and brothers-in-law are/were similar. We are all raising boys.

From my perspective, healthy masculinity involves taking responsibility and ownership for things—maintaining one’s home/car in good working order, staying physically fit, and taking care of one’s finances. It also involves strong emotional regulation and a sense of responsibility for the safety of other members of the family. We teach our older son, for example, that he has an obligation to look out for his younger siblings and cousins. Men are expected to be responsible, confident, and consistent stewards of the world around them.

Toxic masculinity transforms “stewardship” into “ownership.” Instead of having an obligation to care for others, toxic masculinity tells men that others exist to serve them—women should be hot and compliant and kids should pursue interests that reflect positively on dad. Toxicly masculine men don’t believe they have a responsibility to emotionally regulate, so they do things like get into physical fights, use pornography excessively, gamble excessively, and struggle in intimate relationships with women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dems lose all credibility on this issue with the way they swoon over slimy cad Bill Clinton.

I can't remember the last time I heard anyone (and I am in a darkest blue bubble) swoon over Bill Clinton. Everyone I know thinks he was kind of gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is toxic masculinity versus regular masculinity? Genuinely asking. Most boys do feel natural being gasp masculine.

I’m married to a guy who is pretty stereotypically masculine (LEO). My dad, grandfathers, and brothers-in-law are/were similar. We are all raising boys.

From my perspective, healthy masculinity involves taking responsibility and ownership for things—maintaining one’s home/car in good working order, staying physically fit, and taking care of one’s finances. It also involves strong emotional regulation and a sense of responsibility for the safety of other members of the family. We teach our older son, for example, that he has an obligation to look out for his younger siblings and cousins. Men are expected to be responsible, confident, and consistent stewards of the world around them.

Toxic masculinity transforms “stewardship” into “ownership.” Instead of having an obligation to care for others, toxic masculinity tells men that others exist to serve them—women should be hot and compliant and kids should pursue interests that reflect positively on dad. Toxicly masculine men don’t believe they have a responsibility to emotionally regulate, so they do things like get into physical fights, use pornography excessively, gamble excessively, and struggle in intimate relationships with women.

So what does this mean exactly? Because it sounds like it means they shouldn't express feelings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is toxic masculinity versus regular masculinity? Genuinely asking. Most boys do feel natural being gasp masculine.

I’m married to a guy who is pretty stereotypically masculine (LEO). My dad, grandfathers, and brothers-in-law are/were similar. We are all raising boys.

From my perspective, healthy masculinity involves taking responsibility and ownership for things—maintaining one’s home/car in good working order, staying physically fit, and taking care of one’s finances. It also involves strong emotional regulation and a sense of responsibility for the safety of other members of the family. We teach our older son, for example, that he has an obligation to look out for his younger siblings and cousins. Men are expected to be responsible, confident, and consistent stewards of the world around them.

Toxic masculinity transforms “stewardship” into “ownership.” Instead of having an obligation to care for others, toxic masculinity tells men that others exist to serve them—women should be hot and compliant and kids should pursue interests that reflect positively on dad. Toxicly masculine men don’t believe they have a responsibility to emotionally regulate, so they do things like get into physical fights, use pornography excessively, gamble excessively, and struggle in intimate relationships with women.

So what does this mean exactly? Because it sounds like it means they shouldn't express feelings.

Is that what your understanding of the term “emotional regulation” is? It’s a pretty common term in the child development world, so I’m surprised that’s your take.

Emotional regulation is the ability to understand and process one’s emotions and control one’s response. It is a life skill. It means that if something makes you angry, you don’t scream, hit, or throw things. It means that if a boss has a critique of your work, you’re able to hear them out without cutting them off or becoming combative. It means that if you’re anxious, you use positive outlets like going for a walk or talking to a trusted person, rather than abusing alcohol or drugs.

It doesn’t involve suppression or ignoring one’s emotions. It involves expressing those emotions in a healthy, safe, pro-social way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is toxic masculinity versus regular masculinity? Genuinely asking. Most boys do feel natural being gasp masculine.

I’m married to a guy who is pretty stereotypically masculine (LEO). My dad, grandfathers, and brothers-in-law are/were similar. We are all raising boys.

From my perspective, healthy masculinity involves taking responsibility and ownership for things—maintaining one’s home/car in good working order, staying physically fit, and taking care of one’s finances. It also involves strong emotional regulation and a sense of responsibility for the safety of other members of the family. We teach our older son, for example, that he has an obligation to look out for his younger siblings and cousins. Men are expected to be responsible, confident, and consistent stewards of the world around them.

Toxic masculinity transforms “stewardship” into “ownership.” Instead of having an obligation to care for others, toxic masculinity tells men that others exist to serve them—women should be hot and compliant and kids should pursue interests that reflect positively on dad. Toxicly masculine men don’t believe they have a responsibility to emotionally regulate, so they do things like get into physical fights, use pornography excessively, gamble excessively, and struggle in intimate relationships with women.

So what does this mean exactly? Because it sounds like it means they shouldn't express feelings.

It’s normal to set expectations for men; for far too long they got away with escaping and ducking out on, just about everything. Which is why there is nothing wrong with women abiding by their standards, specifically the 6-6-6-6 minimum standard for date-able men.

I see no reason not to add stoicism to that list of bare minimums. For too often, we have heard too much from men (and only men) throughout history.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is toxic masculinity versus regular masculinity? Genuinely asking. Most boys do feel natural being gasp masculine.

I’m married to a guy who is pretty stereotypically masculine (LEO). My dad, grandfathers, and brothers-in-law are/were similar. We are all raising boys.

From my perspective, healthy masculinity involves taking responsibility and ownership for things—maintaining one’s home/car in good working order, staying physically fit, and taking care of one’s finances. It also involves strong emotional regulation and a sense of responsibility for the safety of other members of the family. We teach our older son, for example, that he has an obligation to look out for his younger siblings and cousins. Men are expected to be responsible, confident, and consistent stewards of the world around them.

Toxic masculinity transforms “stewardship” into “ownership.” Instead of having an obligation to care for others, toxic masculinity tells men that others exist to serve them—women should be hot and compliant and kids should pursue interests that reflect positively on dad. Toxicly masculine men don’t believe they have a responsibility to emotionally regulate, so they do things like get into physical fights, use pornography excessively, gamble excessively, and struggle in intimate relationships with women.

So what does this mean exactly? Because it sounds like it means they shouldn't express feelings.

It’s normal to set expectations for men; for far too long they got away with escaping and ducking out on, just about everything. Which is why there is nothing wrong with women abiding by their standards, specifically the 6-6-6-6 minimum standard for date-able men.

I see no reason not to add stoicism to that list of bare minimums. For too often, we have heard too much from men (and only men) throughout history.

I’ve never heard of this. From the context, I can only guess what two of the 6s stand for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is toxic masculinity versus regular masculinity? Genuinely asking. Most boys do feel natural being gasp masculine.

I’m married to a guy who is pretty stereotypically masculine (LEO). My dad, grandfathers, and brothers-in-law are/were similar. We are all raising boys.

From my perspective, healthy masculinity involves taking responsibility and ownership for things—maintaining one’s home/car in good working order, staying physically fit, and taking care of one’s finances. It also involves strong emotional regulation and a sense of responsibility for the safety of other members of the family. We teach our older son, for example, that he has an obligation to look out for his younger siblings and cousins. Men are expected to be responsible, confident, and consistent stewards of the world around them.

Toxic masculinity transforms “stewardship” into “ownership.” Instead of having an obligation to care for others, toxic masculinity tells men that others exist to serve them—women should be hot and compliant and kids should pursue interests that reflect positively on dad. Toxicly masculine men don’t believe they have a responsibility to emotionally regulate, so they do things like get into physical fights, use pornography excessively, gamble excessively, and struggle in intimate relationships with women.

So what does this mean exactly? Because it sounds like it means they shouldn't express feelings.

It’s normal to set expectations for men; for far too long they got away with escaping and ducking out on, just about everything. Which is why there is nothing wrong with women abiding by their standards, specifically the 6-6-6-6 minimum standard for date-able men.

I see no reason not to add stoicism to that list of bare minimums. For too often, we have heard too much from men (and only men) throughout history.

Troll

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is toxic masculinity versus regular masculinity? Genuinely asking. Most boys do feel natural being gasp masculine.

I’m married to a guy who is pretty stereotypically masculine (LEO). My dad, grandfathers, and brothers-in-law are/were similar. We are all raising boys.

From my perspective, healthy masculinity involves taking responsibility and ownership for things—maintaining one’s home/car in good working order, staying physically fit, and taking care of one’s finances. It also involves strong emotional regulation and a sense of responsibility for the safety of other members of the family. We teach our older son, for example, that he has an obligation to look out for his younger siblings and cousins. Men are expected to be responsible, confident, and consistent stewards of the world around them.

Toxic masculinity transforms “stewardship” into “ownership.” Instead of having an obligation to care for others, toxic masculinity tells men that others exist to serve them—women should be hot and compliant and kids should pursue interests that reflect positively on dad. Toxicly masculine men don’t believe they have a responsibility to emotionally regulate, so they do things like get into physical fights, use pornography excessively, gamble excessively, and struggle in intimate relationships with women.

So what does this mean exactly? Because it sounds like it means they shouldn't express feelings.

It’s normal to set expectations for men; for far too long they got away with escaping and ducking out on, just about everything. Which is why there is nothing wrong with women abiding by their standards, specifically the 6-6-6-6 minimum standard for date-able men.

I see no reason not to add stoicism to that list of bare minimums. For too often, we have heard too much from men (and only men) throughout history.

I’ve never heard of this. From the context, I can only guess what two of the 6s stand for.

6 figures
6'
6"
6 toes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is toxic masculinity versus regular masculinity? Genuinely asking. Most boys do feel natural being gasp masculine.

I’m married to a guy who is pretty stereotypically masculine (LEO). My dad, grandfathers, and brothers-in-law are/were similar. We are all raising boys.

From my perspective, healthy masculinity involves taking responsibility and ownership for things—maintaining one’s home/car in good working order, staying physically fit, and taking care of one’s finances. It also involves strong emotional regulation and a sense of responsibility for the safety of other members of the family. We teach our older son, for example, that he has an obligation to look out for his younger siblings and cousins. Men are expected to be responsible, confident, and consistent stewards of the world around them.

Toxic masculinity transforms “stewardship” into “ownership.” Instead of having an obligation to care for others, toxic masculinity tells men that others exist to serve them—women should be hot and compliant and kids should pursue interests that reflect positively on dad. Toxicly masculine men don’t believe they have a responsibility to emotionally regulate, so they do things like get into physical fights, use pornography excessively, gamble excessively, and struggle in intimate relationships with women.

So what does this mean exactly? Because it sounds like it means they shouldn't express feelings.

Is that what your understanding of the term “emotional regulation” is? It’s a pretty common term in the child development world, so I’m surprised that’s your take.

Emotional regulation is the ability to understand and process one’s emotions and control one’s response. It is a life skill. It means that if something makes you angry, you don’t scream, hit, or throw things. It means that if a boss has a critique of your work, you’re able to hear them out without cutting them off or becoming combative. It means that if you’re anxious, you use positive outlets like going for a walk or talking to a trusted person, rather than abusing alcohol or drugs.

It doesn’t involve suppression or ignoring one’s emotions. It involves expressing those emotions in a healthy, safe, pro-social way.

I don't understand how this is a masculine trait, then. Everyone should do this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is toxic masculinity versus regular masculinity? Genuinely asking. Most boys do feel natural being gasp masculine.

I’m married to a guy who is pretty stereotypically masculine (LEO). My dad, grandfathers, and brothers-in-law are/were similar. We are all raising boys.

From my perspective, healthy masculinity involves taking responsibility and ownership for things—maintaining one’s home/car in good working order, staying physically fit, and taking care of one’s finances. It also involves strong emotional regulation and a sense of responsibility for the safety of other members of the family. We teach our older son, for example, that he has an obligation to look out for his younger siblings and cousins. Men are expected to be responsible, confident, and consistent stewards of the world around them.

Toxic masculinity transforms “stewardship” into “ownership.” Instead of having an obligation to care for others, toxic masculinity tells men that others exist to serve them—women should be hot and compliant and kids should pursue interests that reflect positively on dad. Toxicly masculine men don’t believe they have a responsibility to emotionally regulate, so they do things like get into physical fights, use pornography excessively, gamble excessively, and struggle in intimate relationships with women.

So what does this mean exactly? Because it sounds like it means they shouldn't express feelings.

Is that what your understanding of the term “emotional regulation” is? It’s a pretty common term in the child development world, so I’m surprised that’s your take.

Emotional regulation is the ability to understand and process one’s emotions and control one’s response. It is a life skill. It means that if something makes you angry, you don’t scream, hit, or throw things. It means that if a boss has a critique of your work, you’re able to hear them out without cutting them off or becoming combative. It means that if you’re anxious, you use positive outlets like going for a walk or talking to a trusted person, rather than abusing alcohol or drugs.

It doesn’t involve suppression or ignoring one’s emotions. It involves expressing those emotions in a healthy, safe, pro-social way.

I don't understand how this is a masculine trait, then. Everyone should do this.

I agree. Masculinity and femininity are not opposites.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is toxic masculinity versus regular masculinity? Genuinely asking. Most boys do feel natural being gasp masculine.

I’m married to a guy who is pretty stereotypically masculine (LEO). My dad, grandfathers, and brothers-in-law are/were similar. We are all raising boys.

From my perspective, healthy masculinity involves taking responsibility and ownership for things—maintaining one’s home/car in good working order, staying physically fit, and taking care of one’s finances. It also involves strong emotional regulation and a sense of responsibility for the safety of other members of the family. We teach our older son, for example, that he has an obligation to look out for his younger siblings and cousins. Men are expected to be responsible, confident, and consistent stewards of the world around them.

Toxic masculinity transforms “stewardship” into “ownership.” Instead of having an obligation to care for others, toxic masculinity tells men that others exist to serve them—women should be hot and compliant and kids should pursue interests that reflect positively on dad. Toxicly masculine men don’t believe they have a responsibility to emotionally regulate, so they do things like get into physical fights, use pornography excessively, gamble excessively, and struggle in intimate relationships with women.

So what does this mean exactly? Because it sounds like it means they shouldn't express feelings.

Is that what your understanding of the term “emotional regulation” is? It’s a pretty common term in the child development world, so I’m surprised that’s your take.

Emotional regulation is the ability to understand and process one’s emotions and control one’s response. It is a life skill. It means that if something makes you angry, you don’t scream, hit, or throw things. It means that if a boss has a critique of your work, you’re able to hear them out without cutting them off or becoming combative. It means that if you’re anxious, you use positive outlets like going for a walk or talking to a trusted person, rather than abusing alcohol or drugs.

It doesn’t involve suppression or ignoring one’s emotions. It involves expressing those emotions in a healthy, safe, pro-social way.

Exactly, the “child development” term is the tell. Imagine a kindergarten class: what gender are the kids who are misbehaving, roughhousing, fidgeting, clowning, and disobeying the teacher? Now which gender is docile, compliant, and rule-following? Half of elementary school is training the former to suppress, er, express themselves “in a healthy, safe, pro-social way.”